As For Me and My House #2: Calling All Dads
By Bobby Blakey on November 11, 2018
As For Me and My House #2: Calling All Dads
By Bobby Blakey on November 11, 2018
This is a rush transcript.
[00:00:01] One of the moments I will never forget in my life is when God blessed me and my wife with our first child. And the moment that our child is born. Can you remember the moment that your first child was born? My first child, a masculine child that the Lord blessed us with. And I was so I mean, what a powerful experience that was to witness the miracle of child childbirth, to see what a masterpiece God has done in his creation.
[00:00:34] And I remember they handed me my son and I got to hold him in my arms. And I knew the first thing I was going to say to this kid, this blessing from the Lord. And I said, wow, you are a cute little dude, but you need to repent of your sin and put your faith in Jesus Christ.
[00:00:55] And so began my adventure of parenting.
[00:01:03] What a blessing it is to be a dad. And I learned a lot when I became a dad.
[00:01:10] I remember me and my wife, we brought our son home and we were just overjoyed. It was like a second honeymoon. We couldn't believe that this new life that God had blessed us with. And I began to learn so much. I immediately I had so much more of a respect for my own parents and all that they had done things that I could not remember, but they had done for me when I was a baby. And now I'm thinking, wow, they did all of this as we were doing it for our son.
[00:01:35] But there were things I learned more than anything else was if I could love this little baby as much as I did as a father, how much more does my father in heaven love me as one of his kids? And I learned what it really means, that the father loves us as his own children. And this this message that we have for tonight and Ephesians chapter six, verse four, it specifically calls all the dads out.
[00:02:07] And it addresses the fathers. And so I want you to open your Bible and turn with me to a fusion's chapter six. And we're going to zero in here on verse four. And I want you to see what it says and to get a glimpse.
[00:02:22] Everybody here in the room, whether you're a dad or not, we're going to get a glimpse tonight of how the father loves us. And we're going to get a glimpse of what life could be like if dads really did their job. If all of the deadbeat dads out there started stepping up and doing what scripture commands them to do. What an amazing revival we could experience.
[00:02:46] And so let me read for us Ephesians Chapter six versus one to four and then we'll zero in on verse four. But please, everybody, follow along with me as I read. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you, that you may live long in the land. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[00:03:21] Now, as we get into verse four, you can see the word their fathers. And I've heard before when people have preached on this passage, they've kind of just been like, well, fathers. That just refers to parents. Well. Actually, if you look here at the context, back in verse one, we have the word parents and in verse two, we have the word father and mother. Clearly, Paul knows how to refer to parents and he knows how to refer to father and mother, know there is something right here where Paul specifically wants to call all the dads out in this verse of scripture. And specifically, that's who this verse is addressed to, and this is absolutely shocking.
[00:04:07] Now, if you read the scripture, you'll know that sometimes it is the language of it is often in a masculine tone. So it's not shocking that the fathers specifically would be called out. What is shocking is what it says to the fathers. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger. Siete, it knows that there might be a propensity among some dads to be so authoritative, so domineering, that they can overwhelm their kids with rules and expectations.
[00:04:39] And so it says, hey, fathers. Don't provoke your children to anger.
[00:04:44] Now, this must have come to such a surprise to the Ephesians when they heard it, because at that time in the history of the world, in this culture, dad was literally judge, jury and executioner of his kid like a dad was the law to his kid. If dad wanted to spoil his kid, he could spoil his kid. If he wanted to treat his kid like a slave and put him down with the slaves. He could do that if he wanted to throw his kid in prison, if he thought his kid could be executed. Dad was the law to his own family. No one was questioning what dad was doing with his own kids. He had absolute power and authority over his family at this time in the world. So for the command to be to the fathers that you better really care about your kids, you better consider your kids and you shouldn't overdo it with your kids because you wouldn't want to provoke them to anger.
[00:05:38] I mean, there might have been jaws drop in at this line among the saints in emphasis.
[00:05:43] I mean, they might have been shocked to hear the authority of dads called into accountability and saying, hey, dads, make sure that you don't overdo it.
[00:05:54] Now, this phrase here, this phrase to the father, do not provoke your children to anger. And this is a unique phrase in the scripture.
[00:06:03] The times that it's used in the Old Testament are when the people of Israel are grumbling and complaining and wishing they were back in Egypt and testing the Lord with their words and not believing in God's promises that he would lead them to the promised land, not happy with the bread he was providing from heaven or the water he was giving them from the rock, and they would question God and test God.
[00:06:27] And it says that the children of Israel provoked God to anger. That's where this phrase comes from. So usually the way that we would have thought of this phrase is the children. The people of Israel were provoking their father, God, to anger. It was children who made their dads angry. That's how this phrase would be used. And here Paul is now spinning it on the dead. Are you making your kids angry that.
[00:06:53] Are you taking it too far? Are you raising your voice? Are you given unrealistic expectations?
[00:07:00] And you're going to make your kid do what you say by the sheer power and authority of your tone to your own child. It says fathers do not provoke your children to anger.
[00:07:10] So we're calling all the dads out here tonight. And the first thing we're saying, point number one, if you're taking notes, you want to write this down when it comes to parenting. As a father, number one, don't overdo it.
[00:07:22] There it is. There is a problem where you can take this too far and you can make a bunch of rules and regulations and traditions and commandments and you can get in your kid's face and you can try to force your kid to be who you want them to be.
[00:07:38] And the scripture is telling you, if you're a dad like that, don't provoke your kids to anger. In fact, a cross reference you could write down is Colossians, chapter three, verse 21 that says fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. And that's all it says to dads in Colossians three is that dads be careful. You're not overdoing it as dads have a tendency to do.
[00:08:04] As some dads want their kids to go down this certain path or want them to be good at this certain thing or they can't stand that their kid won't get this. And they just overwhelm their kid with their authority.
[00:08:17] And their kid ends up discouraged, angry, frustrated, always feeling like they're unable to meet dad's expectations.
[00:08:27] It says right away, don't be one of those dads. Don't be one of the dads that over do it when it comes to your involvement. But then it says that's what not to do. Let's get into the positive, what to do, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is what it says. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[00:08:50] Now the word here. Bring them up. It's translated here. Bring them up. The same word is used back in chapter five, verse twenty nine. If you can look at that with me there in your Bible. Chapter five, verse twenty nine, just right up the page a little bit, talking about a husband loving his wife, it says for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does.
[00:09:13] The church talks about nourishing and cherishing your own body as a way that husbands should love their wives, nourishing, cherishing them.
[00:09:23] That word that's translated nourish and chapter five, verse twenty nine. That's the same exact Greek word that's translated here in chapter six. Verse four. Bring them up. Hey, dads, don't break your kids down. Don't overwhelm your children.
[00:09:37] No, bring them up. Nourish them. Give them what they need for life.
[00:09:43] That's the idea.
[00:09:45] Fathers we are here to nourish are children. And then it's going to give us two specific things that we want to look at here. We're supposed to nourish them in two ways the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So we've already heard what we're not going to do.
[00:10:02] There's a way to kind of overdo this as a dad. There's a way where you get angry and you try to force your kid to submit to your will. But no, don't do that. Nourish them. Give them what they need in discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[00:10:17] Now, we can't talk about how a father here on Earth, how the dads here in this room are supposed to discipline their kids without talking about how our father in heaven disciplines us as his children. So this is for everybody. And now all of us, we need to see ourselves as sons or daughters of the most high God. We have a father in heaven who loves us.
[00:10:42] And because he loves us, he disciplines us.
[00:10:48] This might be something that you have a negative perspective on. I just mentioned that word discipline. That idea of teaching, of guiding. That includes correction. It includes some level of negative instruction like, hey, you cannot do this. You need to do this. And there's going to be this correcting influence in a child's life. You think that's a bad thing? I'm not sure if I want to discipline my children.
[00:11:12] That's definitely the way that it is today in Orange County. Now, if you're disciplining your kids, people are probably going to say you're one of the dads that's overdoing it. That's too much. A lot of parents, they're completely checked out of discipline, especially as their kids get older. They're just letting their kids learn by experience, make their own decisions. No, it's saying, fathers, you're going to nourish your children and you're going to bring them up in the discipline of the Lord. Turn with me to Hebrews Chapter twelve.
[00:11:41] I need everybody to look at this passage because this is how it says our father in heaven disciplines all of us as his children. There is no child of God that does not experience the discipline of our father from heaven here on earth. And so I don't know.
[00:12:01] The Greek word here for discipline in a fusion six four is used extensively here in Hebrews twelve. I don't know how we could explain discipline without referring you here to Hebrews twelve. Verse five, it's page 1009.
[00:12:15] If you got one of our books and it says in, have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
[00:12:24] And then here's a quote from Proverbs Chapter three by son. Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord nor be weary when reproved by him, for the Lord disciplines the ones he loves and chastises every son whom he receives. So it's very clear that our father in heaven disciplines us as sons or daughters. And the reason he does that is because he he loves us.
[00:12:53] That's why he does. Because we really are his sons or daughters. Discipline is an act of love. Now, maybe that hasn't been your personal experience. Maybe that's not what comes to your mind when you hear discipline, because you think of someone when their example of discipline was they were out of control, when they discipline, they were angry. Maybe they were act full on rage. Maybe they were drunk. Maybe they were even being physically abusive and calling it discipline. That's not what the scripture is talking about at all.
[00:13:33] There should never be any father disciplining his children to try to get them under control and direct them in the right way. How can you get your kids to live under control when you are out of control? You should never, as a father, discipline your children and anger. Can I get any men from anybody on this guy that that's completely not what the passage is talking about. In fact, there have been so many dads out there who have discipline, their kids in anger that the very idea of discipline has now become a negative idea in our mind set. And we need to have our minds renewed by what the scripture says, that discipline is an act of love from a father to one of his kids that he really cares about.
[00:14:15] Point number two, what we need to get down is if you're a dad, you need to correct with care. Correct with care. Yes, we need your strong instruction correcting your child and turning them in the way that they should go. But we need you to do it in love for your kid, not with a raised voice, not because you're angry, not because your kid disobeyed. You know, we need you to do it because you love them like your father loves you. So when we are out of line or even just as a general principle, when we need to be directed in the right way. Our father in heaven, it says here. Here's a fact. Your father in heaven disciplines you because he loves you. In fact, if he doesn't discipline you, that's something you should really be concerned about, because that's proof that you're one of his kids. When he disciplines you could it goes on to say it describes this in great detail. The writer of Hebrews really wants you and me to understand that we are disciplined out of love by our father. He says in verse seven, it is for discipline that you have to endure.
[00:15:26] God is treating you as sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline.
[00:15:34] If you are left without discipline in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Now, obviously this wasn't written in the year of our Lord 2018 Orange County.
[00:15:47] Because today, if the question was what son is there, whom his father does not discipline? Well, we've got a lot of sons that haven't been disciplined by their father.
[00:15:58] I mean, we've got a lot of dads who are so checked out that they will watch their kid do something they told them not to do right in front of their face, and they will do nothing about it except maybe just yell at their kid or get angry with their kid, but to lovingly come alongside their child and correct them and discipline them and instruct them in the right way, out of the wrong way and into the right way. He had so few dads doing that these days.
[00:16:26] It's embarrassing.
[00:16:29] I mean, when we whenever I read this verse, if you are left without discipline in which all have participated, I'm just thinking, wow, how. I know people who haven't participated in that.
[00:16:41] And it says that's that's that's like they're illegitimate children and not sons.
[00:16:46] No, this is the expectation. See, the principal here in Hebrews. He's going to use this.
[00:16:51] He's trying to give us this greater principle that our father in heaven loves us and disciplines us. And the lesser example that he's using is, you know, a discipline like remember how your dad disciplined you remember how he cared about you enough to correct you and get you on the right path. And everybody's supposed to be like, oh, yeah, I have respect for my dad that he disciplined me and he. Correct. I'm so glad I didn't just grow up making my own decisions willy nilly, figuring out my own way. I'm thankful that my dad showed me the way. That's something everybody is supposed to be able to relate to.
[00:17:21] And yet so few people today. Can really relate to a dad.
[00:17:26] You discipline them in love. Not that he was over the top. Not that he was checked out or gone or apps.
[00:17:34] No, he was there. He was there. Correcting with care.
[00:17:40] And that's the expectation. That's what's supposed to be happening. And if you do have an earthly father who discipline you, do you respect him for doing that? I mean, can I get the Amen from anybody on that?
[00:17:51] You got a dad. He disciplined you and he wasn't over the top with his correction, wasn't provoking you to anger. But he also wasn't withdrawn and kind of doing his own thing. No, he saw your life. And when you went off track, he brought you back. Time and time again.
[00:18:07] Man, if your dad did that, you have great respect for him. Great appreciation.
[00:18:13] And if that's the case, how it works down here among us and our human relationships, it says, shall we not much more be subject to the father of spirits and live for?
[00:18:22] They disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them dads. They did their best. Dads weren't perfect. Dads made mistakes.
[00:18:30] They did it for a short time, around 18 years, as seemed best to them. They did it to what they knew. But he, the father and heaven, he disciplines us for our good that we may share His Holiness.
[00:18:45] For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant. But later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
[00:18:57] Ever found yourself thinking the wrong thing, going down the wrong way, starting to be OK with some level of compromise or wrong thinking in your life. And all of a sudden, God, he got your attention and maybe he brought in some trials and tribulations, maybe some physical pain. And he quickly corrected you from going down that wrong path and he brought you back to where you needed to be.
[00:19:20] Ever experience that from the father, that correction?
[00:19:24] Where you can fix you over your sin. He shows you the right way. He wakes you up out of your complacency and causes you again to have love, to keep his commands. If you've ever been disciplined by the father, oh, it might seem unpleasant for the moment, but it leads towards holiness.
[00:19:40] It leads to the peaceful fruit of righteousness. No, the father in heaven disciplines us here on Earth because he loves us. That's why.
[00:19:49] And he wants us to walk on the right path.
[00:19:53] And it's not a bad thing to be disciplined by the FA. It's a beautiful thing, is what it's saying here. It's not pleasant when you're going through that trial.
[00:20:00] It's not pleasant when you're experiencing that pain. Oh, nobody roots for conviction. But after that conviction causes you to repent and to get back on the right track. And you're renewed in your relationship with the father.
[00:20:13] Oh, it produces the peaceful fruit of righteousness. No, we can say as children of the most high God that are father loves us. When he disciplines us.
[00:20:25] Where would you be without God correcting you?
[00:20:28] Where would you be without God coming alongside and saying. That's not the path for you. That's not the way to think about this. That's not the way to treat that person. And correcting you and bringing you back on the right track.
[00:20:40] That's what our father does for us. He loves us.
[00:20:44] Man, if you're going through a trial right now in your life, some kind of sickness right now in your life. One of the questions I would encourage everybody to ask when you're having a rough time, is the father in heaven trying to get my attention?
[00:20:57] Is this actually seemingly bad, but it could it actually be good, though it's painful right now and unpleasant. Could this be God trying to teach me something? Could there be a way I've been thinking or acting or speaking? That is wrong, that it's been against God's commands and he is now descending this into my life, actually, in a way of love to correct me and instruct me down the right path. I guarantee you that sometimes in our lives, the trials and tribulations come as a gift of love from our father to make sure we stay on the straight and narrow. And it's amazing to me when I get to talk to people who are going through evil things in their life and then they tell me how God works all those things for good. And they talk about trials in their life and they say, I'm so glad that happened, because here's what my father taught me. That's what it means to be disciplined. That there was pain. There was something unpleasant. But you learned from it. And it corrected you and it gave you a good result in your life.
[00:22:11] And that's what earthly fathers are called to do with their children, is nourish them in the discipline of the Lord.
[00:22:22] Now, this isn't just for fathers, mothers participate in this as well. In fact, in Hebrews 12, one of the things that we can see here is it uses Proverbs three, 11 to 12. Look back at verse five here of Hebrews twelve.
[00:22:34] It uses the book of Proverbs and it says, Have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
[00:22:41] And then he quotes Proverbs three, 11 to 12. So notice what the writer of Hebrews is doing here. He's quoting Proverbs and he's saying, do you see this that addresses you? He's saying, hey, do you read Proverbs because it's to you. He's he's using the principle that the scripture. It means what it said to the original audience. But it doesn't just speak to the original audience. The scripture speaks to you when you hear these words of God.
[00:23:09] So the Book of Proverbs, which was written in ancient times to God's people that give them wisdom, know it speaks to us here tonight. And it addresses us as sons and daughters of God. So turn with me to Proverbs Chapter 13, because this is basically the parenting book of the Old Testament.
[00:23:29] You want a good book on parenting? I got one for you. The Book of Proverbs. Well, how good of a book is it? Well, it actually was written by the wisest man who ever lived. So it's better than the other book you're reading. We'll put it live. We'll put it like that. All right. You want a book on parenting?
[00:23:45] This is the wisest man who ever lived writing to his son, who is coming of age, giving him the wisdom that he needs, saying over and over things like, my son, listen to your father's voice. Do not neglect your mother's teaching. Do not forsake the discipline of your father. Don't lose the instructions of your mother. Hey, son, walk in the way that we have shown you that we have taught you.
[00:24:13] This whole book is a book of of parenting.
[00:24:17] And he's giving now his son. Words of wisdom. And he also speaks about standards and principles for how you and I are supposed to parent our kids that have now existed for thousands of years and been accepted by Christian people, God-Fearing believers everywhere. And now they are under such attack today.
[00:24:41] These standards, these principles that we have problems. Look at Proverbs 13 24. Here's a great verse about parenting, about discipline.
[00:24:50] Proverbs 13 24. It says whoever spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Let's get straight to it here. Proverbs 13 24. If you spare the rod, if you spare this Shabat this was a little short little stick. They're a little short piece of wood that the shepherd might have used to direct the sheep. Where to go? This this little short stick here. If you spare the rod, what is he talking about here? Well, for hundreds of years, this has been understood to refer to spanking is what it's talking about.
[00:25:29] Hey, if you spare the rod with your kid, if you don't discipline your kid, if your kid doesn't experience pain when they disobey, when they do something wrong, when they go against cock God's commands, sometimes because you're concerned about their safety, sometimes because you can tell they're making a moral choice where they're looking at right or wrong. And you can watch them choose wrong when they know what is right and they are actively choosing wrong. You got to correct that.
[00:25:58] And says, hey, you think you're loving your kid by sparing the rod? No, you hate your kid if you don't discipline him. That's what the wisest man who ever lived said under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. To not discipline your child is to hate them. That's what the scripture says. It's not what Orange County says. It's not what the wisdom of the world says might not even be what your personal experience says, but it for sure is what the Bible's been saying for hundreds of years and will endure forever.
[00:26:25] No, you don't discipline your kid.
[00:26:27] Don't deceive yourself into thinking that's love. That's not what love is. You can't watch someone sing. You can't watch someone hurt themself. And not correct them. That's not love in any definition of the word. No, he who loves him is diligent to discipline it. If you love your children, you will be diligent to discipline.
[00:26:52] How are we supposed to discipline? Not sporadically, not occasionally. Not not lazily. No, diligently. This is hard work. Now, now, I've talked to a lot of dads. I've had the privilege of being a my dad myself now for many years. And I don't know dads who are just like Amen. Let me tell you what happened the other night. I got home after a long day at work and I came in and my kids, they were just they were just disobeying their mom. And I got to discipline all my kids when I never heard that from any dad. Now, I don't know one dad that walks with the Lord and loves Jesus Christ who enjoys disciplining his kids like he's looking forward to.
[00:27:33] Like it said, no. If a dad does enjoy disciplining his kids, that's a little bit concerning to me, that he would enjoy it. No, this is this is work. This is something you got to do diligently.
[00:27:45] Yeah. You had a long day and yeah, now you're home and now you're looking to decompress and relax for a minute. And then you'll walk in and your child is doing something that you've told them not to do many times, that your wife has told them not to do that. This very book has told them not to do that is a call to action if you're a dad.
[00:28:03] You can't ignore that. That's what you're there for.
[00:28:08] It says you got to do this diligently, look over at Chapter 22 here in Proverbs, chapter 22, verse fifteen, Proverbs 22.
[00:28:18] Fifteen see Christians in the past and in the decades leading up to now. These are the kind of versus they used to be up on the wall in people's homes. These are the kind of versus that that they lived by Proverbs 22 15. Fali is bound up in the heart of a child foolishness. Sin is what is within our kids. But the rod of discipline drives it far from him. How are going to address that foolishness? That sin that is bound up in the heart of your child? What can you do about it? As a parent? You can't change their heart. You can't save their soul. But here's something that God's given you to do.
[00:28:55] Discipline drives the foolishness, drives the sin. Far from him. Oh, I see.
[00:29:05] We've got your kids are born with a problem, they're born with a sinful nature and we are there to correct that. We are there to take disobedience and turn it towards obedience. And this idea of discipline, you can do this in 100 percent love for your kid. You can you can hug your kid. You could pray with your child. You can explain to them exactly why you're doing it and why it has to happen because of what God has said. No, this can be a way that you show your kid you care about them. Not a way to be mean to your child. No, it's it's an act of love. Here it says Fali is bound up in the heart of a child. But the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Look at the very next chapter over 23, 13, 23, 13.
[00:29:53] Do not withhold discipline from a child if you strike him with a rod. He will not die. So to all of us who might have a hard time thinking that we would spank our kids, it just seems so harsh or unloving. Or what if we really hurt our kids? No. Here's a verse of scripture telling you don't hold back.
[00:30:13] If you strike him with a rod, that little wooden stick there, that Shabat, he will not die. You know, here's what you're doing. Verse 14. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Shiel from the place of the dead.
[00:30:29] As what you're doing when you correct your kid. You're not hurt? No.
[00:30:34] No, you're doing what you can do, so their soul ends up saved. So if you're like, I don't I don't want to discipline my kids.
[00:30:41] I don't believe in spanking. I, I don't want to do anything like that. That sounds negative to me. Well, here's some versus for you to really memorize and meditate on. Because the word of the Lord says that discipline like this, even discipline that includes physical pain. This is not hurting your child. This is what God will use to save your child's soul.
[00:31:03] People say to say all the time, I tried spanking. And it doesn't work. I tried to discipline my kid and my kid is just on discipline of all.
[00:31:12] You ever heard somebody say that before? Doesn't work on my kid. Maybe that maybe that's how it feels. These are principles for life. These aren't these aren't tips or tricks to get the results that you want from your kid. That's not what this is saying.
[00:31:26] This is God telling you as a parent what you should do with your child. This is between you and God, whether you and especially in our passage is calling out the fathers. But Proverbs here would refer to both fathers and mothers. This is between you and God, whether you're going to obey the command of scripture to discipline your child or not. This is not about what results you immediately see in the context with your kid. This is about. Are you going to take God at his word or do you have a better way of parenting your kid than God does?
[00:31:57] That's what it's about.
[00:31:58] It's about your heart. Are you submissive to what God has said, that every single dad is called to nourish their children. And that means we bring them up in the discipline. This correction out of love. That's what every dad is commanded by God to do. And that's between you and your father in heaven. Whether you're going to love your kids by disciplining them that go back to Ephesians Chapter six, because that's kind of the general word for discipline.
[00:32:30] But then he gives us this other word here that is translated for us instruction. Can you see this in Ephesians six four? It says bring them up in the discipline. So that's kind of this general training where you're teaching them what is right. You're correcting them when it's wrong. But then instruction here, these are like specific things that you are saying. This is like you could translate this in the council of the law. OK, so this is you speaking now. This isn't just you doing things. This isn't you correcting wrong behavior necessarily.
[00:33:05] This is you now actively speaking things from God, things from the scripture, and you're instructing your counseling your child in the truth of God's words. I think this word must include with words that you say you have something to say to your kid, something from God in heaven to them here on earth through the inspiration of the scripture.
[00:33:32] And that's how this all got started. If you go back to chapter five, verse 18, can everybody go back there and look at that with me? And we we turn back to a visions look at Chapter Fiber's 18, because this is the command that kind of got started on all these different relationships and how we're supposed to be in these relationships. It says do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit.
[00:33:56] And when you're filled with the spirit, when you're not under the influence of alcohol, but you're under the influence of the spirit of God working in your life, then you'll address one another. And psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. And when Colossians 316, it equates being filled with the spirit to letting the word of Christ dwell in you richly. And you'll teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and you'll sing songs and hymns and spiritual songs. So we can draw a contrast here. If you picture the dad who is drunk and is shouting and is angry with his family and what is he saying and what is he doing? But then you picture the dad who really has something to say, focused and intent. And it's not even something that he came up with or made up. No, he's filled with the spirit of God. He's filled with the word of Christ. And God is now stirring up dad's heart. And he is speaking through dad to instruct those kids in the way that they should go. That's what it's talking about.
[00:34:57] Dad, are you filled with the spirit? Do you have the word of God in you? Then you have something worth saying to your children and you give them that instruction.
[00:35:10] In the book of Colossians, if you want to turn over their Colossians. Chapter one, verse 28, it uses this word instruction here, Colossians 128. It's just a few pages over to the right here. And it talks about the goal of the church. What we're trying to do here at church as we gather together, as we meet in our fellowship groups is we get to know one another. It says here that we're here to proclaim Jesus Colossians 128 hymn.
[00:35:35] We proclaim Jesus, we proclaim we're warning everyone and teaching everyone or instructing everyone, counseling everyone with all wisdom, words. Does wisdom come from the word of God? We're using the whole council of the word of God that we may present everyone maturing Christ. And so if we want people to grow, first of all, we want them to get saved by the good news of Jesus Christ, then we want them to be sanctified, set apart from their old life of sin, set apart for the purpose of God in their life. We want them to be sanctified. We sancta for God's sanctifies us by his truth, and his word is the truth. So we want every single person here to get mature, to become complete. That you would not only be a Christian first step, but that you would grow as a Christian until you are mature in Christ. And how do we do that? There's instruction that comes from God's word. That's why the main thing we do when we gather together is we open up the Bible and we explain what it says, because that instruction is what builds us up in Christ. That's what dads are supposed to do at home.
[00:36:42] Dads are the pastors of the house. The shepherds of the family, dads are the Bible, teachers of the home. You cannot be a dad and not teach your kids the Bible.
[00:36:54] At least that's what the scriptures teaching us. You've got to bring your kids up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and the instruction means speaking words of counsel.
[00:37:06] Words of wisdom from the scripture, which means dad has to know the scripture, have the scripture on his heart. And then he shares that with his kids.
[00:37:17] So dad's called to do. There's there's no way to outsource this, and that's what dads are trying to do today. I mean, that's what dads are trying to do.
[00:37:28] I know dads that work hard at their job and they work extra. And the reason they do that is because they want their child to go to a Christian school where their child will be taught the Bible. I know parents who really care about their kids and they want to get them to youth group. And you can see we've got youth group here on Thursday night and a lot of parents. They'll go out of their way. They'll change their schedule.
[00:37:53] They'll do what it takes to get their kid here on Thursday night for the junior high and the high school or AWANA here on Wednesday night. We've got parents every week that show up here and they drop their kids off and then they leave. They don't stick around for fellowship groups themselves, but they want their kids here to learn the Bible because parents kind of instinctively know that it's good for kids to learn about God. It's good for kids to learn right and wrong. And kids need to know God's word. And you know why parents instinctively know that? Because they're the people that God put in their life to teach it to them.
[00:38:26] And if you're a dad, you need to stop letting somebody else do your job. Don't expect somebody at a Christian school to be your kid's dad. Don't expect somebody in a youth group to be your kid's dad. Don't you are the dad. Instruct them. Bring them up in the specific teaching of the Lord.
[00:38:45] That's Dad's job.
[00:38:47] Be the Bible teacher of your home, that's number three. Let's get it down. That's what every dad is called to do and you can't outsource it to anybody else. Christian schools, they can be a blessing. Great youth groups where there's older men or women who will invest in the lives of your children. Praise the Lord. But none of that replaces what dad and mom are called to do at home. I was a youth pastor for 12 years. For 12 years. I worked with high school students, which everybody says is the worst time in their kid's life. I loved my kid. And then they became 13 years old. Maybe some of you have experienced that. Maybe some of you have said that I was working with those people all day, every day, working with the high schoolers.
[00:39:32] And it really was sad to see how parents were hoping that their kid would be changed when they spent four hours a week with me.
[00:39:42] When they were living at their house and they were doing nothing about. That's just not right. That's just not what the scriptures say.
[00:39:53] If you're a father and you've got a kid who lives in your house, you are their Bible teacher. You are called to nourish them in the instruction of the Lord. And here's the thing. If you have kids who live in your house, they're going to ask you questions that bring things up. You guys know what I'm talking about? Kids ask amazing questions, insightful questions. Turn with me to Deuteronomy, Chapter six. Everybody go back to Deuteronomy. Chapter six. Please turn there with me, Deuteronomy, Chapter six, we're gonna pick it up here in verse. Verse 20, page one hundred and fifty one.
[00:40:35] If you got one of our books in, you know, we we know about kids asking, like mom and dad, where to babies come from and questions like that, that could be, whoa, I can't believe my kid is asking me this. We've experienced maybe those moments as parents with the scripture is so hopeful and so practical. It says, hey, those moments are coming. Hey, get ready. Your son's going to ask you in the future. He's going to ask you this. Look what it says here in Deuteronomy six twenty. When your son asks you not if. No, they're going to ask you some questions. You got kids. There's gonna be some real moments, some genuine conversations where they want to know something they're going to ask you when your son asks you in time to come. What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord, our God has commanded you? Then you shall say to your son. We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.
[00:41:29] And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household before our eyes. And he brought us out from there that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes to fear the Lord, our God for our good, always that he might preserve us alive as we are this day. And it will be righteousness for us if we are careful to do all this commandment before the Lord, our God as he has commanded us. Now, this is a great example. Now, it might sound really Old Testament, and some of the language might sound Old Testament when it's talking about the exodus out of Egypt and Pharaoh saying no. And Moses is saying, let my people go and God using the plagues to deliver them and bring them over the the Red Sea. That might sound really old, but this is the this is the standard.
[00:42:23] This is the example that every parent here. When your kid asks you, why do we have to keep the rules? Why do we have to do what God says?
[00:42:30] Why do we have to study the Bible and obey it? Why is everything at our house built on? Because God says so.
[00:42:36] And that's why we have to do it. And we go to church and we read the Bible. Why do we have to do all of these things? Notice the example here. It doesn't say just because kid.
[00:42:46] Right. Doesn't say because that's the right thing to do.
[00:42:50] Doesn't say because I said so we're just that's the way we always did that. It doesn't even say because we're Christians and we're different than those other families at your school, the other kids and what their parents do with them. That's different than us. Well, we're Christians and they're not. So we do it the Christian way. No, you won't. And you know what? It goes back to here. This is so instructive.
[00:43:08] Yes, well, let's go all the way back to the beginning and let's talk about how God saved us.
[00:43:15] Let's go all the way back to the good news, you want to know why we have commands? You want to know why we obey? Because, ah, God delivered us when we were slaves.
[00:43:27] See, this is the gospel of the Old Testament. This is the story that they would always go back to, is we were slaves in Egypt and we cried out to the Lord and he heard our prayer and he answered us and he delivered us out of Egypt and he brought us into a new promised land. This is the whole story of the Old Testament. Why do we obey God? Why did God give us the law? Why are we going to be his people and do what he says? Because let me tell you what God's done for us. And once you know what God's done for us, then it will make sense to you, my son, why we do what God says. See you. They have to know the good news before they can know why they will obey the rules.
[00:44:09] And this is the problem is a lot of parents. They just drive straight into the rules with their kids. You're gonna do it because we're a Christian family. You're gonna do it because you're your mom. And I said so.
[00:44:21] No year when your kid asks you, Dad, why do we have to do this, Dad, why can't we do that? Dad, why does our family do things differently than all these other families around us? You're going to say, well, let me tell you, my son.
[00:44:32] Because Jesus Christ.
[00:44:35] He was up there with the father and have and they shared perfect glory. And we had a real problem down here on Earth because we had fallen short in our sin.
[00:44:44] And let me tell you what Jesus did for us.
[00:44:47] Well, he loved us so much when he humbled himself and he was born as a baby. And he came down here to save us. See, this is the key part of the instruction that so many parents are missing. So many Christian parents don't even teach their own kids the gospel.
[00:45:07] So many Christian parents, they they just run into dos and don'ts. And kids don't be like this. Try to be more like this because I said so. And they don't even give them the reason why. Why do we obey? Why do we love God? Why do we do what he says? Because can you believe what Jesus did for us?
[00:45:28] Be careful, you're not raising legalists at your house.
[00:45:32] Be careful, you're not just telling your kids to try harder and do better, and you're not telling them why to do it, the only reason that sinners obey is because we repent of our sin and we put our faith in Jesus Christ.
[00:45:45] At the instruction of the Lord might include many things from the Bible, but let me tell you one thing that is definitely going to be included in you instructing your child in the Lord's ways. You have to tell them the gospel of Jesus Christ.
[00:46:01] Like, if you're not teaching your kids the gospel. That's step one.
[00:46:06] If somebody walked in here and they said, I've been living my life this whole way out, I'm a thief.
[00:46:12] And I like to abuse alcohol and I don't treat other people with respect. Would you sit them down and would you say to them, hey, stop hitting this person and stop going to this stuff and do more of this? Or would you sit down with them and tell them, hey, you're not, like, not going to change yourself.
[00:46:29] You need someone to change you. And let me tell you what Jesus has already done.
[00:46:34] So I hope that if somebody came in here and they were live in one way and you wanted them to know live a new way, the step that you would go to right away would be. I got to tell you, the gospel of Jesus.
[00:46:44] So you can believe in him and be saved. So many people are expecting obedience from their children without ever teaching them why we obey Jesus. In fact, it's impossible to obey Jesus without being saved by Jesus. Can I get any men from a bit on that?
[00:47:02] Anybody here trying to obey Jesus for many years of your life? And it was burdensome and you were always trying to get there, but you never got there. Always try and harder, always doing better.
[00:47:12] And it was just such a burden on your life to try to be a good person, because the truth is you really weren't a good person. What saved you out of that? What got you to change your life? It wasn't anybody telling you the right way to go. It was Jesus saving your soul and making you new.
[00:47:29] That's the complete difference. That's the difference our kids need.
[00:47:35] I mean, it's amazing how many parents want their kids to live a certain way and they never sit down and explain to them the only possible way that their kid will ever live that way is if they are saved by Jesus Christ through the power of his death and his resurrection, that Jesus had to die on the cross for their sin.
[00:47:54] And he rose again so that they could have a new eternal life. And they have to transfer their trust from anything that they can do to what Jesus has already done. And when they believe in Jesus, then they'll have a new heart. Then they'll have the power of the spirit. Then they'll actually be able to obey. But without Jesus, it will never happen. And the parents are frustrated and the kids are frustrated and everybody's frustrated because the kids won't obey. There's no way they're going to obey without the salvation of Jesus Christ.
[00:48:26] You wouldn't expect that from a stranger. You wouldn't expect that from somebody in your fellowship group. Why would you expect that from your own kids? But if you want to teach your kids God's way, you have to tell them the good news of Jesus Christ, which is going to bring up this question. Do you know the gospel? Could you right now on the way home today, explain the gospel to someone so that they could be saved?
[00:48:51] If your child asked you on the way home today, if they called you, if they don't live with you anymore and they're grown up and they're older, or if you're riding home and they asked you.
[00:49:02] Hey, Dad. Hey, Mom. Why do we have to go to church?
[00:49:08] Why do we have to keep all these rules? What would you say to that? Would you be able to say to them? Well, let me tell you, son, me, tell your daughter me, tell you what Jesus Christ has done.
[00:49:21] Can you share the gospel? And let me just tell you, sharing something with kids. I don't know if you've ever taught kids before like that to teach kids here at the church. It's not like, oh, it's easy because it's kids. No, it can be challenging to teach kids. Anybody ever done that before?
[00:49:38] I mean, you got to know the material so well that you can explain it in a way that's easy to grasp and simple to comprehend. I mean, you got to master the material so you can really talk to kids about it. I would strongly encourage you. You need to know the gospel of Jesus very well. You need to break it down into small pieces that your kids are gonna be able to understand, building blocks that they'll be able to put together so they can see the big picture of a holy God in heaven and that we're sinners down here on earth. And the only way for us as sinners to be right with God is through the cross of Jesus Christ, where he died for our sin. And then how he rose again. And so we need to repent of our sin and put our faith. You got to break that all down. So they could actually one day not only understand the information, but experience the transformation.
[00:50:30] Do you know the gospel well enough to share it with somebody so that they could be saved? That's going to be an essential part of parenting your kids. If your kids don't get saved, you can teach them as many good principles and be as good of an example to them as you want to. But they will not have the power to live a new life of Jesus Christ unless they believe in.
[00:50:50] That's a whole ballgame.
[00:50:53] And so I want to really encourage you, if you're a parent, we've got these three most important words and hopefully you've heard these words and you know how to present these words, like you could share this good news of Jesus. And the response of repentance and faith. You could share about a holy God in heaven. And how we've all fallen short in sin. And you could use scripture to do it like you actually know the verses to look up. And you could sit down with your kid. And you could explain to them, hey, let me tell you why we keep the rules. Let me tell you why we go to church. Why do we read the Bible? It doesn't have to do with trying to be a good person. It has to do with what Jesus has already done for us.
[00:51:30] Let me tell you the good news. Like, if you've never done that with your kid. That's the application of this SERN. And maybe you're thinking why I don't even know what I would say. Well, that's the first step then. Do you know the gospel?
[00:51:44] Are you saved yourself? You can't pass on to your kids something that you don't have in your own heart.
[00:51:52] And I just I just want to plead with all of the parents that are here tonight. You need to know the gospel so that you can give it to your kids. And I would encourage you, if your kids are young, if they're just growing up and you really care about your kids. I wouldn't make your kids the first person you've ever shared the gospel with. I wouldn't make your kids your test cases. You know what I'm saying? Like, I would not do that. Like gay dad. Why do we keep the rules? Well, son, I've never told anyone this my entire life, but since you asked. Let me now share with you the most important thing ever. No, I'd be I'd be learning that every day I'd be telling anybody that you can't. I would get really good at sharing the gospel with people that you know and love because their souls depend on whether they believe it or not.
[00:52:44] Everything comes down to whether they believe in Jesus or not.
[00:52:49] And if you're not telling people that good news, especially with your own kids, then what really are you doing? So many parents think parenting is keeping their child physically alive and healthy and financially providing for them. And all of those things are noble, but they will not ever save their soul. It is only in the gospel of Jesus, and if you're like, well, this is frustrating because I don't know how to share the gospel of Jesus, I don't know how I would pass this on. I will be here in this room Saturday morning at nine o'clock and we will do evangelism training. And I will go through with you detail by detail how I would explain the gospel to a child. Because that's what every dad in this room is called to do. That's what every mom in this room is called to do, if we're going to teach them the instruction of the Lord. We need to give them the good news of Jesus Christ. Today, there was something that happened today in the history of CompassHB Bible Church that I feel like I need to share with all of you here tonight. As some of you guys know, we were planted four years ago by CompassHB Bible Church down there in Aleece Sophia Hall, where I was a pastor for eight years before they sent a team of us up here to plant this church. And there were seven of us pastors down there when I was down there and we were a tight knit group. We served the Lord's side by side together. We went away on retreats and went pray together for the church and talk about the best ways that we can love God's people and teach the truth. Well, after I left four years ago, they've they've sent out some other pastors. They've planted other churches. And so they've brought in some new pastors that they hired. And recently this last summer, they brought in a guy who actually got saved there at the church a long time ago. And then he beat. He grew up. He matured in his faith. He became a pastor somewhere else. And then they hired him back to work at the church where he got saved. And his name was West Couch. And he came back and he was fired up to be a pastor there at the church. He came here one day. He met with me. I got to show him our church and all that God has done. And I got to encourage him. And they had a pastors retreat just just last week. They went away to the same place that I've been before. They had these powerful times of prayer. And Pastor West, he was praying in a prayer meeting there. And he was praying for the gospel to go out. And he prayed for over 20 minutes, he was praying through one of the distinctives of our church, distinctive number five, that we're going to proclaim a biblical gospel. And he says, God, we need your people to share the gospel. God, please don't let them not share the gospel. So, God, the gospel is our only hope after death. All right, the gospel is our only hope that we will be with you in heaven. And he's just pouring out his heart to the Lord. That we would know and share the gospel. And then he walked into the bathroom there at the hotel, and then when they were going to start up their next time together, they said, Hey, Wes, come on out. Are you ready to get going for our next meeting?
[00:55:50] And there was no response. And they burst into the bathroom and they found Pastor West there lying dead on the floor. And it was like the Lord had taken him. To be with him and having this guy was 34 years old. This guy seemed like he was a healthy guy. He was on fire. He was excited to be a pastor. He was just getting some ministries going. He has a wife and two young children. And I went to the funeral today for Pastor Wes. And at the end of the funeral, Pastor Mike, the Boris, who is the head pastor down there, the one who really sent us up here. He read a note. From West, his daughter. Who's of elementary school age? And this is what she thought about her dad. She wanted to write a note that he would read. About her dad. It in this note, she said, one thing you need to know about, my dear. Is he really believes in Jesus, who is the one true God? That's what he taught his daughter. That's what she will always remember about her dad. But he believed in Jesus. The one true God. And if your kids. Had to speak at your funeral today if you suddenly. What would your kids say about you? What did you teach them, how did you instruct them?
[00:57:29] Would they be able to say that you were a believer in Jesus Christ? And they would know the good news of Jesus because you told it to them.
[00:57:41] I think we all need to take that to heart because we don't know how long we have with our kids. And we need to make sure that we have instructed them in the way of the Lord. Let me pray for us, Father, and have.
[00:57:54] Yeah, we just want to confess to you that your word is so straightforward. We need to discipline in our instruct our children in your ways. And yet, God, those seem to be the two things that are not happening right now in the world. Even in your church. People don't want to discipline their kids, they don't want to correct them. And so few parents are really opening up the Bible at home, really reading through the scripture of the day, really having conversations where they try to answer their kids questions and so few dads and so few moms sit down and explain the gospel to their kids so they can understand it.
[00:58:36] So even their kids know the verses where the gospel is found. Even their kids know who you are in heaven and how we have sinned and that we need to repent and that we need to believe.
[00:58:50] God and I just pray that that will not be the case here at our church. That that will not be the case in our homes.
[00:58:57] Father, I pray that you will call the dads out here today and that you will put it on the hearts of the fathers not to provoke their children to anger, but to nourish their kids and to bring them up in your discipline and your instruction that every dad here in this room would preach the gospel to their kids because they believe it themselves, because it is on their hearts. And that if we die today as dads, that our kids would know that we believed in Jesus. The one true God, and that they would have that legacy to follow the legacy of the gospel, which is the only power to save us. The only way we could ever obey you or walk in a right relationship with you or know your peace, joy and love is through the victory that Jesus has already won. It's through the finished work that he's already done. When he died for us on the cross and when he rose again. So God teach us the gospel so we could teach it to our kids and let our children be saved. We pray this in Jesus. Name a man.
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