As For Me and My House #1: Parents Are For Life
By Bobby Blakey on November 4, 2018
As For Me and My House #1: Parents Are For Life
By Bobby Blakey on November 4, 2018
This is a rush transcript.
[00:00:01] When I was in elementary school, my dad made a decision that changed the life of my family forever. When he decided that God was calling him to be a pastor. And so I don't know if you moved when you were a young kid growing up, but we moved where my dad was gonna go to seminary. And that had a huge impact on me in watching my dad study God's word, hang out with other godly men. Obviously, it had a huge impact on me. Here I am standing before you as a pastor myself today.
[00:00:34] Now, one of the things I remember from elementary school at that time when I went to this new school is I ran for student council. So I don't know if anybody else ran for student council when they were growing up. If you got involved in very local politics there in the elementary school, if you ran for president or vice president or treasurer, secretary, sergeant at arms, maybe you remember all of this, right?
[00:00:57] The drama of everybody giving speeches at the assembly. I don't know why, but for some reason I decided I was gonna run for treasurer at this school and I gave a speech and every line in the speech rhymed. And I went up there and I said, my name is Bobby Blakey. And I'm here to say, remember me when you vote today?
[00:01:15] And I kept I threw at a lot of good lines. I was like, don't be flaky. Vote for Blakey. That was one of them. Right.
[00:01:22] I don't have your friends go calling you a slob. All you got to do is vote for Bob. I mean, I wish I was I was that guy.
[00:01:28] Right. And and I said a top notch treasurer is what I'll be because math is so easy for me. You know, it's kind of one of those things in and this week at my daughter's elementary school. See, now it's all happened again. I became a pastor. God called us to plan a church here in Huntington Beach. I moved my family here. My daughter's now an elementary school and she decides to run for student council.
[00:01:56] And she gave her speech. And I was there to to witness it. And she walked up in front of all the students and all these parents there watching these speeches. And she had a hat on and she flipped her hat around and she said, I need a clap because my speech is a wrap.
[00:02:11] And she start she got the whole crowd clapping on beat, which was amazing. And then she said, My name is Emma Blakey.
[00:02:19] And I'm here to say, remember me when you vote today? And on she went. Don't put yourself into a dilemma. All you got to do is vote for him.
[00:02:26] I mean, she had it all and she won. She won. Actually, it was it was exciting.
[00:02:34] And so I tell you this just to illustrate that parents have a huge influence on their children, whether it's a serious thing or whether it's a silly thing.
[00:02:45] I mean, parents, for better or worse, we make a huge impact on our kids and a good parent, a godly parent, a parent who teaches their kid the word of God can make an impact on their child.
[00:02:58] That will last way beyond this life for all of eternity.
[00:03:03] And we're getting now to a in six, which talks about the relationship between children and their parents. And before we even turn to a Feagin six, I asked that you would open your Bible and turn with me to Joshua 24. Joshua, 24. Starting in verse 14. Page 198. If you got one of our Bibles and this is where we have the line, maybe you've heard it before. It's been kind of famous in the church in our time. As for me, in my house, we will serve the Lord. And that's the title of our series as for me and my house. And that's something Joshua said in his final speech here in the book of Joshua and Joshua. He was the one who led God's people into the Promised Land. He was the assistant of Moses who took over from Moses at the end of the first five books of the law. He took over and he leads God's people into the promised land. And now they have won the battles because of the Lord. And they are now living in the land, flowing with milk and honey, as God promised them. And he gives them this strong word.
[00:04:09] Here are the final chapter of Joshua, verse 14. He says now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers serve beyond the river and in Egypt and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your father served in the region beyond the river, or the gods of the Ammonites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. So, Joshua. He's really sticking it to the people here. He's really calling everybody out. You've got to serve somebody is what he's saying. You've got to have some authority that defines the way you're going to do things at your house. What are you going to pass on to your kids? What are you going to. Give to the next generation, you can't just believe nothing. No, you've got to have some kind of principles, morality, belief system that you're going to be about at your house. So what is it that you're going to believe? Who is it that you're going to serve and who gives them options? Are you going to serve the gods of your fathers, the idols that they worship? Now, if you know the history of the people of Israel, the fact that they worshiped idols after God delivered them out of Egypt and God was ready to bring them into the promised land, but they worshiped idols, they grumbled and complained about how God was providing for them.
[00:05:35] They didn't have faith that God could give them victory in the promised land. And because of that sin, because of that idolatry, they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years until they died off.
[00:05:48] And so liquidy saying you want to go worship the way your fathers did.
[00:05:52] Look how that worked out for them. Oh, you want to worship the gods of the air rights in whose land you now dwell. The people that God just gave us victory over. You want to worship the idols of the other nations around us. See, at this time in world history, when nations went to war with each other, it wasn't just our army versus your army. It was our God or gods vs. your God or gods. And so the fact that they had just defeated their enemies and they were now living in this land meant that they would believe that their God had given them victory over the false gods around them. He's like, so who? What other God are you going to serve? What's your other option? What's your better choice? You're going to serve the gods of your father's that failed them. You're going to serve the gods of the AMA around here that failed them, or you're going to serve the Lord. See how he's sticking it to him. He's saying, hey, what are you really going to do?
[00:06:45] And the people here, they give the right answer. Look at verse 16. He says, then the people answered. Far be it from us that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods. No, it is the Lord, our God who brought us and our fathers up from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. And who did those great signs in your sight and preserved us in all the way that we win.
[00:07:06] And among all the peoples through whom we passed and the Lord drove out before us, all the peoples, the AMA writes, who lived in the land.
[00:07:14] Therefore, we also will serve the Lord, for he is our God. Right answer. Yeah. We see what you're saying, Joshua. We're not going to serve the idols that our fathers served. We're not going to serve these other gods that God just gave us victory over. No, you're right. We will serve the Lord. Now, I need everybody to take notice of what Joshua says to the people when they say, OK, you're right, we're going to serve the Lord. Liquid, he says in verse 19. But Joshua said to the people, you're not able to serve the Lord.
[00:07:43] He basically just says to them, No, you're not.
[00:07:46] Oh, yeah. We're we're gonna we're gonna serve the Lord will serve ya way, he's our God.
[00:07:50] Not not really. No, you're not.
[00:07:53] He's a holy God. He is a jealous God. He will not forgive your transgressions or your sins. If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign guides, if you worship idols, then he will turn and do you harm and consume you. After having done you good, yes, God has been so good to you to bring you to this place. If you not desert him and worship idols, don't expect the goodness of God to continue. No, I mean, he's saying, are you guys really able to serve the Lord? No, you're not. And Joshua, he says a strong word there. And those of us who have read through the Old Testament and seen the history of the people of Israel, where they faithful to serve the Lord, or did they worship idols? Which one?
[00:08:33] I mean, they regularly turned away from the Lord to serve other gods, even after God was so good to them again and again.
[00:08:42] They served idols.
[00:08:46] And so Joshua, he calls Amanda, he says you're not able to serve the Lord like unless God really does a work in a group of people, unless God really does a work in our heart and we get her guided based according to God's word, in his word, gets in our heart. And unless the Holy Spirit is really stirring us up and causing us to walk in God's ways, we will not serve the Lord in our own strength. We can only serve God by the strength that he supplies.
[00:09:12] Don't think you're just going to go do this, guys. That's what Joshua's saying.
[00:09:17] And so you and I, we're about to talk right now about how we as Christians should parent our children and how children should behave towards their parents. And parents should behave towards their children.
[00:09:28] And I think that most of us here at church on a Sunday morning are going to say, yeah, that's what we would like to do. We'd like to parent like that. We'd like to have our house and our family be like that.
[00:09:39] Well, let's just take take a moment to humble ourselves.
[00:09:44] And let's just take a moment to review what's going on in our day, in the history of our church and the history of Christianity around us. The stats don't lie. The facts are clear. Most kids who grow up in the church in America to day fall away from the faith when they go to college.
[00:10:02] Do you know this? I mean, way more than half of the kids that grow up going to church bail on church when they become their own independent person. I mean, depending on what survey you look at, it's two out of three kids in the high school ministry who won't still be going to church. It could be three out of four, depending on some numbers. Most families that would claim to be Christian in America right now do not have children that walk with the Lord when they are adults and have their own families. So before we say, yeah, this is what we're going to do. Of course, this is how it is. Let's just hear Joshua say to us here this morning, you're not able to serve the Lord. We need God to work in our families. If our families are going to work, then God's the one who's gonna have to do the work and we're going to have to do our family God's way, not the way that seems best to us, the way that our fathers did, the way other people are doing it around us.
[00:11:01] We're going to have to really do our family the way that God says, and we're going to need him to do that work in us.
[00:11:07] So let me pray for us as we get ready to study what God says about our family. Let's pray, father in heaven. We hear this word. The Joshua said to those people, and God, we come now to humble ourselves before you and to declare our dependance upon you that if you don't do a work in our families, we won't just naturally do them your way. Our kids won't naturally grow up to follow you all the days of their life. God, it has to be a work that you do among us, and we have to humble ourselves so that you can teach us what it is you've commanded us to do. So, God, we ask that you would speak to us through your word. We ask that you would show us your way that you want us to be as parents, that you want us to be as children. God, that you will have your spirit put it on our hearts so that we can actually walk in your ways. Scott, let our families give you glory as we conduct them based on your desire. We pray this in Jesus name.
[00:12:07] And everyone said. A man now with that introduction. Let's go to a Fijians. Chapter six, everybody, and let's really see. Well, this practical instruction for children and their parents. And I just gotta say that this is our one twelve o'clock service that we do in the year. You guys know what I'm talking about it. Anybody feeling a little hangry right now? You feel a lot more hungry than you usually do at the beginning of the sermon. All right. So we had a lot of people here at our one 10 o'clock service that we do. And I understand now, hey, it's an hour or there's an hour that we enjoyed of sleep. And that's going to catch up with us right now. And we're gonna start getting hungry. All right. And let me just remind you, that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that perceives from the mouth of God a man. Again, this word right here is something that you and I, we really need to hear, because this is not the way it is in our culture. This is not the way it maybe was for many of us growing up. I find that people like myself who had a dad who really brought them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and who really had the Bible on his heart. And he taught me God's commands. I find myself that people like that. We there's definitely many of us out there. But it's not common. It's not the way that it's going for many families. Even families in the church. And so let's pay very careful attention to this instruction here in Ephesians, Chapter six versus one to four. It's going to take us two weeks to get through it. Well, let me read it altogether right now.
[00:13:45] Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
[00:13:51] Honor your father and mother.
[00:13:52] This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
[00:13:59] Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[00:14:10] So we're going through a household list in the book of Ephesians, we're working our way verse by verse through the book of Ephesians, we come to Chapter six about children and parents. We were just studying wives and husbands. And all of this goes back to chapter five, verse 21, if you can look at it with me. It says, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. So because of our relationship with Jesus, that he is our Lord and we have this fear of Christ, this respect of Christ, his lord, and we're ready to obey him and do what he says. One of the things we then do is submit to one another. We willingly place ourself underneath other people. We put them in the first place and put ourselves in the last place. And then it specifically it gets into people and relationships where one has authority over the other, where God's design. One person to submit or obey. Somebody else who's in a place of authority. And so in this household list in a Fijians and there was a lot of different household lists that would go through relationships like wives and husbands, children and parents, bond servants and masters. I mean, it was common to have these lists in the literature of the time, but to address the person who submits, who places himself underneath the authority of somebody else, to address the children before the parents. That was very countercultural.
[00:15:32] And that's the way our list goes. So it talked to the wives before the husbands. Now it addresses the children before the parents. And why are we going to submit to one another? Why are we going to walk in here to church and put other people is more important than ourselves? Well, you've got to go back to chapter five, verse 18. This is what started all of this when it said do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit.
[00:15:58] This is our goal as Christians to be under the influence of the Holy Spirit, to have the word that the spirit inspired in our hearts, so that the Spirit then uses that word to cause us to obey and walk in God's ways. And so we were really filled with the spirit. It changes all of our other relationships. It gives us Thanksgiving in our hearts to God. It makes us want to sing. It makes us want to speak to one another. Words of truth. And it makes us want to submit to one another. And one person who really wants to submit, who wants to obey when they have the spirit in them is children. They want to obey their parents in the Lord for this is right. Now, we have some children here in the service, but most of the children now are in the high school or junior high or in the kids ministry only talks about children here. It's really talking about minors, people who are still financially dependent, people who still need to live with their mom and dad because they don't have their own place to live. They don't have their own money. And so they are dependent on their parents. And as long as somebody is dependent on their parents, they come under their parent's house, under their parent's authority. And so children who live under their parents authority, the word here obey, you could translate to here under to listen under. This is the idea that kids, they would listen under the authority of their parents and what their parents tell them to do. They will obey. And the reason they obey is because they're really obeying the Lord, who has established parents to have authority over their kids. So they obey their parents not just because of their parents, but they really obey in the Lord, because this is right. This is the way that God set up life to work.
[00:17:43] So if I say, hey, the children need to obey their parents. Most of us in here are going to say Ahadi a man to that. Right. And you wish right now your kid was here here in this sermon right about now, right? Well, children, they are hearing it in the kids ministry. You might see your your favorite craft ever coming out of the kids ministry because it says obey right away. So I'm sure you're going to love that craft here in a minute. But yes, children are commanded to obey their parents and the Lord for this is right. But then it quotes here one of the Ten Commandments versus two and three.
[00:18:16] And it makes it very clear that this is the way God designed it, that it may go well with you, that you may live long like God gave us commands for human flourishing because they're good for us, because it's the way he set up life to work. And when people honor their father and mother, that's the path of blessing. That's what keeps you on the straight narrow. That's God's good plan for your life, is to honor your father and mother. And then it specifically in verse for even though it said parents earlier, even though it said father and mother earlier, now specifically in verse four, it just speaks to the dads and it calls them out.
[00:18:52] It says, hey, dads, don't overcook this. Don't overdo this. Don't make this about you and your house and you and your rules. Don't exasperate your children. Don't come on too strong. No, you need to nourish your kids, cherish your kids, bring them up. But here's what you've got to really teach your kids dads the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[00:19:13] So once again, we see that this relationship between kids and their parents, children, they obey their parents in the Lord because they're really obeying the Lord. And parents, you bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the law. So it's really the parents are passing on what God has given them and the children are picking it up and obeying their parents because of the law.
[00:19:36] That's the way that this is supposed to work. And we need to pay attention to this because this is not what's happening in our nation. All you have to do is go to the grocery store. All you got to do is take a walk in the park. And you will see kids openly disobeying their parents and parents doing nothing about it.
[00:19:56] You'll see it all over the place. And disobedience to parents is such a serious sin in the scripture in Romans Chapter one.
[00:20:05] It describes what happens when people stop worshiping God and giving him glory and they deny him and they start to worship each other or they even start to worship animals or other creative things that God gives them over to sin. And he gives them over to the loss of their heart. And eventually he gives them over to a debased mind that is not even thinking rightly. And one of the signs that you're living among a group of people, a culture that has a debased mind and is not worshiping God, but now living in a wrong way that God never intended one of the signs. Romans Chapter one, verse 30.
[00:20:42] Disobedience to parents. That's what you could tell. Culture's gone way off track. Another verse you could write down a second, Timothy, three to one, it's talking about these these last days, these end times when things are going to get bad and people's are gonna be they're going to be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, lovers of pleasure. And one of the things in those dark days before the end comes is there will be disobedience to parents. And this has now become commonplace, we we somewhat expected. You see a kid who says, yes, mom, yes, dad really hears under their parents and does what they say. And it stands out in our culture. That's not the norm. That's not the expectation. That is the expectation in the scripture that kids would obey their parents. There is nothing cute. There is nothing funny or amusing about children saying no in disobeying their mom and dad. In fact.
[00:21:41] How seriously does the scripture take this sin of disobedience to parents while in the law? The first five books in Deuteronomy. If a child was really growing up and he was stubborn and rebellious and he would not listen to the voice of his father and he would not listen to the voice of his mother, eventually that child would go on trial before the elders of the city and would stand on trial at the gates of the city before the elders. And one of the possible consequences of disobedience to parents was the death penalty that all the other children would see it and fear and respect their parents.
[00:22:18] That's how seriously Deuteronomy 21, 18 to 21 takes the sin of disobedience to parents.
[00:22:26] And so when it says children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, this is what God expects from families that kids obey and that the fathers, the parents, the mothers and fathers. But specifically it calls out the dads. You've got to discipline your kids and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now, this whole paradigm here of how it's supposed to work between kids and parents notice that one of the two of the verses in the four verses are a quote of the Ten Commandments. There's a whole foundation in the Old Testament that God has already given about how the relationship between parents and children is supposed to take place. So turn with me to the Old Testament to Deuteronomy, Chapter six. I need everybody to see this to go back to Deuteronomy, Chapter six. Page one hundred and fifty one. If you got one of our books, we can't really dove deep into a Feagin six without seeing what first God has said in Deuteronomy six can now do to Ronno me. If you're taking notes, you might want to write down that Deuteronomy means the second telling of the law. That's what Deuteronomy means. The second time we're going through the law. So if you know about the first five books of the of the Bible, they're referred to sometimes as the law or the Torah. They're all written by Moses. And in Exodus, Moses gets the Ten Commandments and he tells the Ten Commandments to the people. He gives them the law.
[00:23:55] The people don't really listen. They don't really obey. They have to wander in the wilderness. And now as we get ready to go into the promised land to the next generation, we have this second telling of the law. And so in Deuteronomy five, we have the second time that Moses goes through the Ten Commandments because the first generation didn't really get it. They didn't really follow through on it. So now we're speaking to the next generation here in Deuteronomy and immediately after he's done going through these Ten Commandments. He starts in Deuteronomy six. Verse one is where we're going to pick it up now. You know, some of Deuteronomy six. This is one of the most famous, most quoted passages in all of the Old Testament to the Jewish people in the Old Testament. Verse four is the Qamar Shimaa is the Hebrew word that means here. Listen.
[00:24:49] And there was this famous statement that every Jew, new hero, Israel, the Lord, our God, the Lord is one that was that was their statement that Shimaa. So there's a Hebrew word for you.
[00:25:01] If you want to learn some Hebrew, Qamar means to hear or listen. If you want to teach that to your children, they when you say Qamar, they'll know you're really upset, right? When you say when you start opening up Hebrew on'em, they'll know it's really time to listen. Hero Israel.
[00:25:15] So that's a famous verse right there. Then just look ahead at verse five real quick. Let's see if this sounds familiar.
[00:25:21] You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. Jesus says that's the greatest commandment. So that's famous to all of us who are New Testament Christians, all of us who have gone to church a little bit. We know the greatest commandment to love God with all of our hearts. We've got the Qamar in verse four. Here's who God is. Your way is our God. Your way is one. And then what's our response to God when we know who he is?
[00:25:47] We love him with everything that we've got. We give God everything as as a worship because he loved us. We love him with all of our heart. So that's the context, this famous passage. Now, let's work through it here. Starting let's get the full story. Deuteronomy six, verse one. Now, this is the commandment. The statutes and the rules of the Lord. Your God commanded needed.
[00:26:10] Teach you that you may do them in the land to which you are going over to possess. So here's Moses san. I remember the first time I gave you guys the Ten Commandments. And at first it wasn't even Moses. It was God speaking. And there was thunder and there was lightning and the ground was shaking. And the people were like, we can't handle this. This is terrifying. We don't want to hear from God. Moses, you tell us what God says. So here's Moses saying, OK, here's what God told me to tell you.
[00:26:37] Verse two, that you may fear the Lord, your God. You're supposed to fear God. Your son will fear God, your son, son.
[00:26:47] Even your grandchildren should fear the Lord by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you all the days of your life, that your days may be long here, therefore o Israel and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, that you may multiply greatly as the Lord, the God of your fathers has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey. So I'm here to give you the commands of God, and you need to fear God. So you will keep these commands. So that's one thing that he says here. Is there supposed to be this fear of God that we have that gets passed on to our kids, that gets passed on to our grandchildren, like the fear of the Lord in the scripture is a beautiful thing. It's a fountain of life. It's a treasure of wisdom. Like if you fear God, you won't go off into disobedient land where you can't be blessed and there's consequences for sin and there's judgment to come. No, if you fear God, if you're afraid of disobeying him and experiencing the consequences of sin, fearing God is what keeps you on the straight and narrow. Fearing God is what makes you want to obey his commands. Because, you know, down that path is blessing and you're afraid to go over here where you could be judged by God. No, you want to stay in his ways.
[00:28:06] And that's something this fear of the Lord is the reason we would pay attention to his commands and obey them in our lives. Then he says, hey, who's our God? Who you always our God. Your way is one. And here's another response we should have. We should love God with all of our heart, soul and my. And not only do you fear God, but when you see how good God is with how he wants to bless you not only in this life, but when you look at God from our perspective, that he did not spare his one and only son. God loved us so much. He gave up his son. What kind of parent is given away their kids? I mean, this is a kind of love beyond us. That he would give up his son for us. When I see the love of God for me, the only thing that makes sense is to give my life now back to God in love with him all that I am.
[00:28:58] So he's saying out of this fear of God, out of this love of God. Then he says this in verse six, everybody look at Deuteronomy six six. He says these words, all these these commands of God that I'm going to give you today, these words that I command you today shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children.
[00:29:22] And she'll talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way. And when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand. They shall be as Frontalot between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and your gate. So I'm going to give you the commands of God. And you should fear God to keep these commands. You should love God to keep these commands and these commands that I'm going to give you. They should be on your heart. And if the commands of God are on your heart, then you will teach them to your children diligently.
[00:29:57] It says you'll teach them four different times in a day. It says how you'll teach them to your kids. When you're going out from the house. You'll be teaching your kids when you're coming in. You'll be teaching your kids. When you get up in the morning, you'll be teaching them. When you go to bed at night, you'll be teaching them know if you have God's word and God's commands. If you have a fear of God and a love of God in your heart, then you'll be looking out of the abundance of your heart. You'll be looking for opportunities to teach your kids what you're learning about God.
[00:30:28] And you'll start an ongoing conversation about the word of God in obeying God in your home.
[00:30:35] That's what Moses says. This is the building block of the family right here, that there would be parents who would fear God and love God, and they have God's word on their heart and out of their relationship with God. They speak God's word and God's command to their kids.
[00:30:54] And they don't stop. They just keep talking to their kids about God's ways and God's word all the time.
[00:31:00] I mean, looking at the kids in the rearview mirror, talking to him when you're driving home, when leave and home, waking up and talking to him about the Bible in the morning over breakfast, sitting down and reading the Bible with him before we go to sleep at night, just always trying to take God's word. That's on our heart.
[00:31:18] And get it on their heart. That's what that's the pattern that it lays out here.
[00:31:23] I see Notice what it says here in verse six, look back at verse six years, says these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
[00:31:34] So when he talks about parenting in the Bible, when it talks about bringing up our children and the discipline and instruction of the Lord, what we're doing is we're passing on commands that we have received from God that, first of all, are on our heart.
[00:31:49] So all our authority as parents, it doesn't just come from us being parents. It's not like it's my house or I'm the dad or here's what I think, or this is my personal preference or in my opinion. We're all gonna do this. No, it's an authority that comes to me from God, not from myself. Let's get that down for no one. If you're a parent, consider where your authority comes from.
[00:32:13] Consider where your authority comes from in the role as a parent who blessed you with those kids, who told you how to act as a parent, as a father or a mother who gave you that wisdom that you're supposed to give to your kids? All of our authority comes from God. We bring our children up in the way of the Lord. And the first thing is we need to have God's commands on our heart.
[00:32:39] So if you're here today for some shortcut on how your kids can turn out great and you want some tips and tricks that makes you make sure your children will turn out all right no matter what you do, like take you out of it. You just want your kids to work out. That's not what the scriptures teach in anywhere.
[00:32:58] Now, here's how parenting works. You got it starts with you. You got to be the person first. Your kids are going to grow up to be like you. Your kids are going to learn things from you, infect your kids, might learn more from what you do than ever from what you say. My dad never told me to be a pastor. Not one time that he ever encouraged me to be a pastor. Not one time did my dad ever say, hey, this is what it means to be a pastor. I just watched it happen.
[00:33:24] I got inspired. I had an example of a way that I could follow some some some here. We have good examples of parents that we could follow.
[00:33:34] Some of us have followed parents. Some of you have followed parents into bad examples in dissin because we just saw it. And there's this idea among parents that we want our kids to do as I say, when what it's saying here is it's got to be do as I do. You got to have God's commands on your heart. You got to be obeying God. First, there's no way around this. You have to set an example for your kids by obeying God's commands. Let's get that under point number one. We need to go from do as I say, to do as I do. That's how we have to conduct ourselves as parents.
[00:34:11] We have to be fearing the Lord, loving the Lord, having God's commands on our heart and walking in God's ways all the days of our life.
[00:34:23] And then it says out of that abundance, out of that overflow, if God's word is really in your heart, then you have something to teach to your children and you should teach it to them diligently, persistently, regularly, even if it feels like some days they listen. Some days they don't. You keep telling them what you're learning about God. What God is teaching you. How you're living. You keep passing it on.
[00:34:51] And notice, it makes it very clear in verse seven that dad here and the father, he's the Bible teacher of the home and mom is right there with him, and you shall teach them diligently to your children.
[00:35:08] Are expected by God to teach the Bible to their kids, and I know a lot of parents who greatly sacrifice a lot of money to put their kids in Christian schools so that they will be taught the Bible. I know a lot of parents who who get their kids to church so their kids will learn the morality and the stories of the Bible from a young age. I know parents who drop their kids off at church and don't even go to church themselves because they want their kids to hear God's word, even though they don't want to hear it. Parenting is not putting your kids in a place where they will hear God's word. Parenting is taking your kids home and teaching them the Bible there. That's what parenting is in the scripture.
[00:35:54] Now, praise the Lord for a kid's ministry full of people that want to teach kids the Bible. Praise the Lord for Christian schools where kids can learn the Bible. But what God is expecting parents to do is teach the Bible to their own kids at their own house.
[00:36:08] That's the expectation.
[00:36:11] And what we're supposed to teach is what's on our heart, that these these commands here, it says these words that I command you today shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children. Where do these commands come from? These aren't commands that we make up.
[00:36:27] These aren't commands that are rules for our house. These are God's commands that he has established as the way human beings should live for their good, for flourishing. And we get these commands from God. We get them on our hearts. We obey them. And then we teach what God is teaching us. We teach to our kids.
[00:36:50] So this is not because I said so. This is one of the famous parent lines that needs to die.
[00:36:56] Anybody know what I'm talking about? When your parents when you when they told you to do something and you're like this is this is suspicious. This I don't know where this is coming from. This doesn't make sense to me. I don't get this. I think they're just making this up right now. Why should I do this? And then your parents came back at you. Because I said so. Did that convince you? Was that powerful and effective in your life? Did that cut to the thoughts and intense of your heart and just the spirit of God use that to really mold. You know, you went away grumbling from that one, didn't you? At least that's what I did, because I said so. Really, that's the best you got. We got a lot of parents operating in it because I said so level of authority and we need to go from because I said so. Here's something that's authoritative because God says so. That's what we need to be saying to our kids. Let's get that down here. We need to go from. Because I said so too, because God said so. Hey, I didn't make this stuff up.
[00:37:51] Hey, I didn't think this up. No, this is what God. And this is powerful. If you can teach this to your kids, hey, this is what God commands me to do. And if I don't do it, I'm in trouble with God. And one of the things that God tells me to do is to teach it to you and discipline you and instruct you and encourage you to do what God says.
[00:38:13] And if you don't do it, you're going to be in trouble with a lot bigger authority than me. You're gonna be in trouble with God because these commands come from God.
[00:38:23] That's what we need to be teaching our kids, not our personal preferences of how we want our house to run. But God's sovereign decrees of how he's commanded the universe to operate. That's what we're supposed to be teaching our kids.
[00:38:37] And some dads, they're making it about their rules and their way when God says that, make it about his rules and his way.
[00:38:47] And we take the word of God. We get it on our heart. We obey it and then we teach that diligently to our kids. It's like we're getting verses up in our house. So we see it when we're going out. We're putting it on our hands. We're putting it in front of our eyes. Anywhere we can put this scripture so our family will see it. We're trying to get God's word to be the operating procedure of our family's life every day. That's what we're going for.
[00:39:14] And so if you are a parent and you've got kids that live in your house, you are the Bible teacher of the home and you need to have God's commands on your heart so you can teach them diligently to your children. And let me just say, if your kids have grown up and they have left the house and you didn't do this when they were in the house, it is not too late. Let me tell you that. Any kid who sees their parent fear God, love God and obey God, they cannot deny that reality. So we think about it wrong way. Sometimes we think. Being an example means something that I do. Being an example is who you are. And if you are a person that fears God, loves God and lives based on God's word and God's word is in your heart and it's changing your life and the spirit's working and he's giving you power to obey the commands and to walking God's ways, no matter how old your kids are, they will see God working in your life and they will have to acknowledge that he is in you.
[00:40:16] Now, that may not change them. They may not be open to it, but they will not be able to deny what God is doing in you and out of what God's working in your heart as God is teaching you. He will give you words to say to your kids of any age, maybe even to your grandkids. You will have the privilege to speak the truth of God's word into their lives and share with them meaningful personal things that you learned from this book that changed your life forever. You can pass that on. It is not too late. If you're alive and your kid is alive, there is hope that the word of God can go from your heart to theirs. And you got to make sure that God's word is in your heart. See, this is the thing about parenting is everybody wants to just give me what to do, so my kid will turn out all right. And what the Bible says is you've got to get God's word in your heart.
[00:41:10] It's not about what you do. It's about who you are. As you sit here today, can you say that God's word, that God's commands are on your heart and the spirit is working in your life. And he's causing you to walk in God's ways. That is the life of somebody who is ready to teach their kids how to live.
[00:41:34] There's no way to fake it. There's no shortcut. I can give you no parenting comes from your example and the way that you live. And the truth of God's word that's in your heart that you speak to your kids. So the question of the morning is God's word in your heart. Do you hide this word in your heart that you might not sin against God? Are you filled with the spirit? Because the word of Christ dwells in you richly, day after day, constantly going back for a free refill of the life of God in your soul because you can't get enough of his word. And then out of that, you have things that you're thinking about God, things that you're learning, things you want to share with your kids if they'll listen to you. And God is speaking through you to your children. It's got to start with your heart.
[00:42:21] And then it goes from children obeying their parents in the Lord, and then it gives us this quote from the Ten Commandments. You can see it there on the handout in versus two and three of a Feagin six. And maybe you're familiar with this command. Honor your father and mother. The Fifth Commandment out of the ten. And then there's a promise to it is the first commandment with the promise.
[00:42:42] It highlights, hey, there's a promise. This is about blessing. This is about human flourishing. If you honor your father and mother, it's going to go well with you. You're going to live long in the land. Like this is the good way to go.
[00:42:54] Now, the Ten Commandments are right here in Deuteronomy five. In fact, the quote that we have in a field in six is from Deuteronomy five sixteen. So we just looked at Deuteronomy six. Just look at the chapter right before that.
[00:43:07] This is the second telling of the Ten Commandments and Moses. Now he's going to basically say, hey, let's do this again.
[00:43:14] Here's what God said when he was at the when we were there at the mountain out of the midst of the fire. This is what God said. And he gives commandment number one in verse seven. You shall have no other gods before me. Commandment number two, no idols, no carved images. Commandment number three, verse 11. You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God in vain. Commandment number four, observe the Sabbath day. Keep that holy as the Lord. Your God commanded you six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day, Saturday, the Sabbath day is a day to voted to the Lord, your God to rest, to remember that God created you. That God saved you. To worship him, to give him glory.
[00:43:53] These are the first four commands to God is a jealous God. God doesn't want anything having first place in our lives over him. He understands how life is supposed to work. He's supposed to be in the number one spot in our hearts. And when we put something else as first priority over God in our lives, our lives suffer and we don't experience the blessing that God has for us.
[00:44:17] And so God has to be first.
[00:44:20] And we don't do idolatry like they did at the time in the Old Testament, where we actually carve out idols and we think these are gods who have benefits for us. And if we worship them, will receive those benefits. No, we just make our job an idol. We just make money and idol. Many people in Orange County live like their children are the most important thing in their life.
[00:44:41] They make their kids an idle.
[00:44:43] And it says, no, these first four commands are about establishing a right relationship with God, that he has to be first place in your life. And then the next six commands, starting with number five with the command, were studying there about how we're going to interact with other people.
[00:45:01] Deuteronomy five sixteen, honor your father and mother as the Lord, your God commanded you that your days may be long, that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
[00:45:11] This is exactly what is quoted in our passage.
[00:45:15] And then it goes on to say, the other commands, you're probably familiar with them. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife and and so on. They're your neighbor's house. Field, male servant.
[00:45:30] Female servant. Now, these are not commands for children. These are commands for adults.
[00:45:40] There might be problems on the playground at elementary school, but I haven't heard about kids murdering one another during recess. I don't know kindergartners who are committing adultery. This is not about children here. This is a command to fully grown adult people who have their own families. And it is saying you honor your father and mother.
[00:46:03] Honor show them value highly esteem them, treat them with the respect that they deserve, and they deserve that respect. Here's a couple of reasons. One, because God has commanded you to give them that respect and to that's the way of blessing. This is the whole way that God wants human relationships in the family to work. Everybody's gotta respect their own father and mother.
[00:46:28] That's how God designed it. And it's not based on your father and mother. It's not based on are they respectable or how did they raise you or how do they treat you now or what are they doing with their life? No, this is the way God established human beings to operate in the planet that he made in the life that he gave us. Everybody, you honor your father and mother. This is the core framework of human society. That I will always think of in my heart. My dad and my mom as the people that I received physical life through, the people that God gave me to be my parents. I will always see them in the place of value and esteem because without them, I would not have life.
[00:47:14] And so I honor them. And see, again, what does that mean to honor your father and mother?
[00:47:20] What does that mean? I do. What does that look like? No, see this before we get to what we do. This is talking about you. This like when I bring up your dad and your mom, what do you think?
[00:47:30] Do you think highly of them? Do you have a attitude of respect towards them?
[00:47:34] This is about your heart, is about who you really are on the inside. Do you have value for your dad and your mom as people that God gave you, that he's commanded you to value and he's promised it will be well with them if you. Well, with you if you value them.
[00:47:52] How do you talk about your parents? Do you talk about them like that's my dad? That's my mom. I'm so thankful for them? Or do you talk about them like, well, here, let me tell you all these bad things they did and let me slander their name and let me revile their ways.
[00:48:08] That's what it's saying here.
[00:48:10] This is one of the pillars of human society that we would treat our father and our mother with value and we would esteem their role in our life.
[00:48:21] So this is for all of us.
[00:48:23] I mean, this is for all those of us who had good parents. This this is for those of us who had parents who abandoned us and mistreated us. This is for all of us.
[00:48:32] Even if your parents have already passed away, even if your parents are dead. This is about you. How do you think of that? How do you value them even now, today? How would you speak of them? This about your heart attitude. And you see that God is the one with all authority and he put these people in your life. He gave them to you as your parents. And he commands you to honor them. Go with me to Matthew, Chapter 15 and look what Jesus had to say about this in Matthew, Chapter fifteen.
[00:49:09] You know, one of the things that happens and it happened in Jesus day and it happens today is people will use their their obedience to God as an excuse to not honor their father and mother. People will act like, well, my father and mother aren't Christians or my father and mother, they did this bad thing. And because I'm a Christian, I can't really show them value or respect. People act like that today. They were definitely doing it in the time of Jesus Christ. And what we have here in Matthew Fifteen is we have another addition of stump Jesus and we have the Pharisees and the scribes in their common and they want to turn the crowd against Jesus. They want to make Jesus look bad. They're going to try to trap him. And his answer to their question and what they're bringing in this addition here is an accusation because the disciples get this. The disciples of Jesus are not washing their hands before they. See, this has been causing trouble for thousands of years. My friends that are now. And this to them was about this tradition that they had established about what was clean and what was unclean, what was ceremonially and ritualistically pure and right.
[00:50:22] And see these Pharisees, these scribes, these lawyers, they looked at all the commands of God and they added their own commands, their own traditions onto God's commands. Because if you're going to keep these commands of God, you're going to have to do all these other things to keep these commands of God.
[00:50:39] And so they made up all of these traditions. And now the disciples of Jesus aren't keeping one of their traditions. And so look what they say in Matthew 15, verse one. Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? Hey, Jesus, do you know what your disciples are doing? They're breaking our traditions, for they do not wash their hands when they eat Jesus. He comes back with a counterattack here. He gives a bold question back to them and he answered them. And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? See what he does there. He one ups them. They come to him. Your disciples are breaking the tradition. And he's like, Yeah. And why are you breaking the command for your tradition?
[00:51:26] You're putting your own traditions, your own rules that you've made up. You're keeping your own rules over God's commands.
[00:51:33] And then here's the example that he gives for God commanded honor your father and mother and whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. But you say if anyone tells his father or his mother what you would have gained from me is given to God. He need not honor his father. So for the sake of your tradition, you have made void the word of God.
[00:51:58] You hypocrites. And this might be the first time, I think, that Jesus calls the Pharisees hypocrites just outright. Well, did Isaiah prophesy of you when he said this? People honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me in vain. Do they worship me teaching as doctrines, the commandments of men, you hypocrites.
[00:52:17] You'd rather keep your own rules than God's command because God commanded you to honor your father and mother. God says whoever reviles father and mother must surely die. And you're over here in the moment of your parents need as they are getting older. And they need your financial support. They need you to provide physical care for them. They need they may not even have the mental wherewithal to take care of themselves. And they need you to come through now and provide and take care of them in their last days, just like they might have provided for and taking care of you and your early days. And here comes your moment to honor your parents. And what were people saying?
[00:52:54] Well, we can't give that money to our parents because we have to give that money to God. We can't support our parents because we are so busy over here worshiping God. That's what they said they used obeying God as an excuse to disobey God. And they stuck with their traditions. They came up with this tradition that if you're giving the money to God, you don't have to give it to honor and support your own parents who really need it at the end of their life. And Jesus, he's not having any of that.
[00:53:26] Let's make it very clear what God commanded. Honor your father and mother. And one of the practical things that you might do out of a heart that wants to value or esteem your parents is as they approach the end of their life and they don't have the financial means to support themselves or they need someone to watch over them physically or they need someone to be there because it's not sure what's going on mentally. Like we need to care for our parents and honor the.
[00:53:53] And that's something that is a real life situation that comes up in a lot of people's lives, and I have been so blessed to see people here at this church give whatever time, give whatever money, anything their parents needed. They were there to give it to them. And that pleases the Lord. That glorifies God.
[00:54:11] And I have seen many people who, by our standard today, have gone way out of their way to take care of their mom or their dad, even when their other siblings were doing nothing. They stepped in and they reached out to help with their parents. I have seen God bless those people every single time.
[00:54:30] You want to have a long life. You want to be blessed. Honor your father and mother. That's what the Bible teaches. That means that I will never stop thinking of them in high regard as the people that God gave me life from that. That's point number to consider who you come from. Consider who you come from.
[00:54:52] And I know this brings up a lot of questions of, well, what do I do to honor my parents before we get to what we're going to do to honor our parents? Here's the heart question we need to ask. Do I have honor for my parents? In my heart. Do I really see them as people given to me by God? Do I obey God's command to value and esteem them?
[00:55:14] Do I respect them? Not based on what they have done, but because that is my dad. And that is my mom. And if I ever speak of them, I might have to share facts about what they've done in their life that are unpleasant. But I will not add my own personal commentary to revile my parents in any way.
[00:55:33] That's the idea.
[00:55:36] You've got to have honor in your hearts and it's got to come out of your mouth for your parents. These are the people that God gave you life from. These are the people that God commands you to hold in high regard.
[00:55:51] And so what does that mean? Does that mean you're going to go to your parents house on Christmas? Will not necessarily you might not be going there for Christmas.
[00:55:59] Does that mean if your parents are now the grandparents of your kids, but your parents have substance abuse and they've proved themselves irresponsible and you don't know if you can trust your kids with your parents because they may not be reliable to honor your parents? Does that mean you have to let them have time alone with the grandkids? Not necessarily. You've got to make practical decisions of wisdom, of how you're going to interact with your parents. I know some people who can't interact with their parents because their parents are in prison. Their parents, last time they were around, tried to rob them of a bunch of money I owned.
[00:56:30] But your attitude here is what it's talking about.
[00:56:34] Do you really have a heart of honor for them before it gets into if you do value them, if you do highly esteemed them in your heart? It will come out of your mouth. It'll show up in your life.
[00:56:44] Before we get to answering the questions of what we're supposed to do to honor our father and mother, do we have that right response in our heart? That is the issue that we're getting to hear parents.
[00:56:55] We've got to have God's word in our heart so we can teach it diligently to our kids. We've got to have honor for our father and mother so we can act in a way. And accordingly, it starts with what's going on in our hearts. What is going on in your heart here this morning?
[00:57:14] Do you see God as authoritative in your life? Do you live based off of his word? Do you submit yourself to the other authorities that God places in your life, including your father and mother? And do you then take all that God teaches you and pour it out any time you get a chance with your kids? So I just really want to encourage you, if you want to get God's word in your heart. You've got to get in this book every day. And this sermon might stir you up. It might get you going. But you need to get into the Bible yourself. And we're starting as a church family. We're starting tomorrow. The Gospel of Luke. And it would be awesome if every single person in this church family read through the Gospel of Luke together. It would be awesome if you and your family read through it together. You're not sure what to do based on this sermon because maybe you're convicted that God's word is not really in your heart. So how could you teach it to your kids? Just start reading the Bible together with your family. Start in Luke Chapter one. Do a chapter a day. Just five days a week is all we're ask. Find a time to get God's word into the life of your family. Go to Luke, Chapter one. Let me just give you a preview. If you decide, hey, yeah, I need to have God's commands on my heart. I need to have God's word. I need to hear what Jesus teaches in the Gospel of Luke. Well, here's one of the things, if you start reading, you'll see that Luke is riding this orderly account of the life of Jesus to this man named the Awfullest, and he gives us a detail that no other gospel gives us. He's talks about the angel coming to. Who's the father of John the Baptist.
[00:58:50] And the angel prophesies the Zakharia that John the Baptist is going to be this preacher of repentance. And John the Baptist.
[00:58:57] Look at the prophecy in Luke one 16. It says that this is John the Baptist. He's gonna be special. He's gonna be filled with the Holy Spirit from his mother's womb. And he, John the Baptist, will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord, their God.
[00:59:12] When your son comes of age, there's gonna be a revival. That's what the angel tells the Zekeria. Many people's hearts will turn back to God and they will worship him again.
[00:59:22] And then look at this beautiful verse in Luke 117 and he will go before him. God will go before John the Baptist in the spirit and power of Elijah, and to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children.
[00:59:35] You want to hear a description of revival of people having their hearts turn to God. Here it is. The dads wake up. That's what revival looks like.
[00:59:44] The dads actually start caring about the souls of their kids and they want to get in God's word with their kids and they want to teach God's word to their kids. And then it says another thing. The disobedient will turn to the wisdom of the just. The disobedient children will finally start to listen to the wisdom of their parents.
[01:00:02] This is the work of God. This is what revival looks like. Parents waking up and passing on the word to their kids. Kids waking up and listening to the wisdom of their parents.
[01:00:12] Turn over to Luke Chapter two and it'll begin to look a lot like Christmas when you get to Luke Chapter two and you see that there. But go down to Luke to 49. This moment where Joseph and Mary, the earthly parents of Jesus, as he's growing older now, they can't find him.
[01:00:28] They've lost their child. They're in great distress. And when they finally find him in the temple there in Jerusalem, he said to them, Luke, 249 nine, why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my father's house, clearly referring to his father and Evan? Hey, did you guys know where I would be in my father's house?
[01:00:50] Mary is already talking with the religious leaders, and they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. Look at verse 51. He went down with them. Jesus he goes to Nazareth with Joseph, with Mary and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart and Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. You think you know better than your parents? I'm pretty sure our Lord Jesus Christ knew better than Joseph and Mary. And yet here he is showing us the example, the track record of righteousness. This is the way that God designed it. This is the way it's always supposed to be. Children submit themselves to their parents. They honor their father and mother. This is how God made it.
[01:01:35] And the only way it's going to work in our family is if God does his work in our hearts and we need God's word in our hearts. So we will have the right attitude towards our own parents.
[01:01:46] So we will have something to pass on to our kids. Let me pray for us. Father, we come before you as our father in heaven.
[01:01:57] And God, I just pray that everybody here, as we think about what it means to be a father or to honor our father or to be a mother or to honor our mother.
[01:02:07] Got, as we see, your divine design for the human family. God, I just want to thank you that we have all of us here. We have a father in heaven who loves us. And that if we have come to you through faith in your son, Jesus Christ, and we now have a relationship with you. That we are perfectly loved by our father in heaven. God, I pray for everybody that they could see that that no matter how imperfectly our parents have loved us in this life, you as our father in heaven, you love us so much that you gave up your one and only son to adopt us as your children. Guy, we we understand that idea of loving our kids, and if our kids ask us for bread, we're not going to give us give them a stone. If they ask us for fish, we're not going to give him a snake.
[01:02:59] If our kids ask him for something, we want to be good to our kids. And if we know how to give good gifts to our kids and we are evil, how much more to you, our father in heaven want to give good things to those of us who ask you? So can we ask you right now that you would give us kids that would obey their parents and that you would make us parents who have your commands on our hearts, that we fear you, that we love you. And out of your word, that is on our heart. We could teach our kids the way of life.
[01:03:35] God, please make us these people. Father, we need you to do this, we can't do it ourselves. We need you to use your word working in our hearts. Even some of us need to change our ways today. And we need you to work in us right now. Father. And so we ask Yuga if we have a bad attitude towards our parents, if we can't say that we highly esteem them and value their role in our lives. God, please do a work in our hearts today and help us to see the command of scripture. Help us to see how you have set up life to work and that obedience to you is a way of blessing. And so we must honor our father and mother. God, this is a work that only you could do. And so we ask you, as our father in heaven, to work in our families here on earth. God let our family be as according to your word. We pray this in Jesus name a man.
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