The Foundation of a Strong Family
By Bruce Blakey on August 21, 2016
The Foundation of a Strong Family
By Bruce Blakey on August 21, 2016
This is a rush transcript.
[00:00:01] Good morning. "Amazing grace" that is a sweet sound, isn't it? Yeah, I'm excited to be here with you this morning at Compas H.B. I'm really thankful to have this opportunity to be here with you. You know, I was remembering the other day, a time about 30 years ago when I was putting together a bunk bed that Bobby and Billy were going to share. In the bedroom that they were going to share. Because we're about to have another baby. And so these guys had to bunk up together in the same bunk bed, in the same room. And back then, there is absolutely no way I would have imagined that someday they would both be serving as pastors at a church. And if you don't own them, then you wouldn't have imagined it either. In fact, if you had suggested it, we all would have had a good laugh and then gone about the business of trying to keep them alive for another day.
[00:01:00] Just imagine these two guys in a bunk bed, in a bedroom. Think about that at lunch today. God has been very, very gracious to us as as a family.
[00:01:13] When Roberta and I got married and we started having having children, we didn't know what we were doing. We were pretty clueless. We did not grow up in Christian homes. I didn't grow up going to church. We had no idea what what we were doing. We had a lot to learn. And the thing that the two things that we would say that we have learned the most from marriage and having a family is that God is gracious and his word is true. God is gracious. We can rely on him, depend upon him, he's so kind and generous and patient with us and his word is absolutely true. We can trust everything that he says. And I want to help you to learn some things from his words today that will help you in your life and in your family. As we go to the word, let's have a word, a prayer to begin with. Father, we are thankful for your goodness. Your Grace. How sweet the sound.
[00:02:20] Of that Amazing Grace. Or I pray you'll teach us today that we'll learn from your word. And our lives will be changed as a result of this time. I pray this in Christ name. Aymen.
[00:02:36] I think we can all agree that the family is under attack today, it's under attack both by the culture and by our government. Abortion has been legalized, same sex marriage has been legalized, and now there's a lot of things being legalized or laws being changed in route in response to the transgender movement. All of these things are contrary to what God's word teaches in regards to the family. And for a long time, our culture has been accepting of things like fornication and adultery and divorce. All contrary to God's word and what he would desire for the family. But I'm here to tell you that all of these attacks, all these growing attacks against the family, all of these external attacks that are coming against the family are not the greatest threat to the strength and happiness and well-being of your family. These external threats, they are not the biggest threats to your family. The real threats, the biggest threats, the greatest threats are inside of your family. They're inside of your family. You can withstand all the external attacks, if you will, deal with the internal. Threats. Let me give you some ideas, some thoughts on what those internal threats might be. One would be like a spiritual luke warmness where you're just kind of going through the motions of being a Christian, but you don't really know the life or the power of Jesus Christ. Now, on the other extreme would be a kind of a moral is a legalism where you're just trying to be nice Christian people and keep all the rules. But again, you don't know the life. You don't know the power of what it means to really know Jesus Christ. There are some practical threats to things like busyness. You just get so busy trying to do so many things, trying to live. The Orange County lifestyle. Not to be a real threat to a family and some people overreact to that and they practice a kind of isolationism. We do want to get involved in all this worldly stuff out there. So it's just me and my family. And we do everything together all the time and we isolate ourselves from everything going on around us. There there's the threat of idolatry of all forms of idolatry. And we'll talk a little bit about that later in the service. But you can get sidetracked by following idols that will do damage to your family. And, of course, the biggest threats are just your own pride. And you're too stubborn to accept any instruction or correction in your life or your family's life. And of course, selfishness is a killer to a family. Everybody pursue and what they want to do in their family. These are some of the threats that face families from the inside. Internal threats. And then you throw in all the fears that people deal with in their families. Families are are fearful about all kinds of things these days. They're fearful about food issues, about schooling issues, financial issues, health issues. And they're also fearful of just trying to measure up to what's kind of expected from them. And they certainly don't want to be that family in the restaurant with their kids totally out of control.
[00:05:49] Right. You know that family.
[00:05:53] Yeah, you know, Bobby and Billy. Yeah, you don't want to be that family. These are real threats, real issues. But we believe that the Lord provides all that we need for a strong godly family, even in an ungodly world, a man greater as he who's in us than he was in the world. We have everything we need to have a strong godly family. Doesn't matter how ungodly the culture gets around us, we just need to make sure we build on the right foundation. And just in case you're here today thinking you this service doesn't apply to me. This message is for me, I'm not living in a family right now. So this I can kind of tune out for this one. This one isn't really for me. Not so fast, my friend. Because what you're going to find out is that the foundation for a strong family is the same foundation for a strong Christian life to go together. It's like I got my Christian life over here. I got my family life over here and there to kind of separate things. Now, the foundation for a strong Christian family is the same foundation is for a strong Christian life. So this applies to all of us. We're just going to apply it, particularly to the family. And I want to give you a four foundation stones for a strong family. And and I'd ask you to turn with me to Luke, Chapter six. Luke, Chapter six. We're going to look at versus 46 through forty nine as we begin laying down these foundation stones for a strong family. Luke, Chapter six. Let me read the text for us. Verse 46 through forty nine.
[00:07:36] This is Jesus speaking, and he says, Why do you call me Lord, Lord and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and here's my words and does them, I will show you what he is like. He's like a man building a house who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it immediately it fell and the ruin of that house was great.
[00:08:15] Here, Jesus compares the living of a truly Christian life to the building of a house, a house that stands because it's on the right foundation. And so what are the elements for a strong family? What do we need to be able to build this kind of a life? This kind of a family? Well, let's look again at verse 47 here and look at what where Jesus starts. He starts off by saying, everyone who comes to me. Everyone who comes to me. So the first foundation, if you don't write this down in your notes, the first foundation for a strong family would be you got to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
[00:08:59] It begins with coming to Christ. It begins by turning away from sin.
[00:09:06] Turning away from the world and turning to the person of the Lord Jesus Christ and making a commitment to that person, the Lord Jesus Christ. I am going to follow you a Jesus that if anyone comes to me is God to deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. So you got to give up everything else. I'm just going to follow you. Lord Jesus Christ. I'm going to make a commitment to you. And this just makes sense because Christian homes are built by Christian people. You want to have a Christian home and starts by being a Christian following the Lord Jesus Christ. And the commitment to follow the Lord needs to be more than just a plaque in your house. Maybe you have that plaque in your house. Joshua, 24. As for me. And my house will follow the Lord. Well, I've got that plaque in our house, but it's got to be more than just a plaque in your house. Your commitment has to be more than just that. Jesus must truly be at the center of your home. If you're going to really be committed to following him and I want to help you think that through because the LA Times will say stuff like that, yeah, Jesus needs to be the center of my home. What does that mean? What does that look like? How is that practical? We'll turn with me over to the book of Ephesians and let me help you think that through. Fees in chapter five, starting in verse 20 to. Familiar passage dealing with marriage and then parenting. Once we go into Chapter six. But there's some things here I want you to think about as we as we think about following the Lord Jesus Christ being committed to him. What does that look like inside the home, practically? Well, look at verse 22. There's instruction given to wives there says wives submit to your own husbands. Here it is.
[00:10:59] As to the Lord. As to the Lord.
[00:11:07] Wives submitting to your husband is submitting to the Lord.
[00:11:15] You can't say why you submitted to the Lord, but this husband of mine. Not so sure about him. No, if you're not submitting to your husband, you are not submitting to the Lord because the Lord says submit to your husband. And a life had a lot of women say to me. Yeah, you well, you don't know my husband. Doesn't matter. I know the Lord Jesus Christ and the. And the question is for a woman who's feeling that way, because I've had a lot of women tell me about their lazy, no good, low down husband. The question the issue is, how big is Jesus Christ? Is Jesus Christ big enough to use that lazy, low down, no good husband for your good eye? Are you really committed to following the Lord Jesus Christ? Are you really going to trust him? Even in submitting to your husband, see, this is what it looks like. This is what it looks like to follow the Lord Jesus Christ at home. This is what it would look like for a wife.
[00:12:20] To follow Christ and submit to her husband. Well, let's talk about the husbands then, verse 25. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. We're supposed to love our wives just like Christ loves us.
[00:12:47] The issue is that how lovable is your wife acting at any particular point in time? It's how much do you appreciate and understand the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ for you? And how much does that motivate you to live for him?
[00:13:04] That's the question. Jesus Christ loves me. He gave himself up for me.
[00:13:12] I'm pretty happy about that. Are you pretty happy about that? And anybody see, like in Texas, they talk back to me and see that they're bold enough to speak up Lone Star State.
[00:13:25] We're gonna secede from the United States. They're bold enough to speak up and talk. So when I, you know, feel free. I'm used to it. Speak up. Are you glad that Jesus Christ loves you? Yeah. Have I done worse things to my Lord Jesus Christ than my wife could ever do to me? I wasn't quite so strong, but it was there. Yeah, so see, it's how much am I motivated by his love for me? It'll be seen in how much I'm willing to love my wife. See, when men have problems with this can see a lot times men get disappointed with their wives. That's why in Colossians three, it says, love your wives husbands, love your wives and don't become embittered towards them because that's what happens. They thought they were marrying Rachel. And behold, they got Leah. And things aren't going the way they thought they were going to go. When men get things like that, they're thinking too little of Jesus Christ and too much of themselves. And if we're going to be serious about following the Lord Jesus Christ, men, you got to love your wives. Well, what about children? Look at Ephesians chapter six, verse one. This, I think the first verse we taught Bobby and Billy, children obey your parents in the Lord in the Lord for this is right. For children to obey their parents is to obey the Lord. It is to obey the Lord. The issue is not ultimately between the child and the parents. The issue ultimately is between the child and God.
[00:15:11] And children need to be taught that by their parents.
[00:15:18] Children need to be taught to trust the Lord, and this is one way to do that, to obey their parents, because that is obeying God. What about dad's lookdown reverse for?
[00:15:34] Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That's been given a stewardship to raise their children for the Lord. Children are a gift from God that he entrusts to a dad and says, Dad raised these children for me. Your commitment to Christ is going to be seen and your commitment to raise your children for him. It's a sobering reality.
[00:16:09] As a dad, to think I'm going to have to give an account to God for the parenting of my children.
[00:16:17] It all comes down to how serious am I about following Jesus Christ? There's got to be that commitment to Christ. I'm going to follow Christ. I'm going to do what he says and I'm going to live that out in my home. I'm going to live like I'm a follower of Jesus Christ at home. And it's not just, you know, making a commitment to Christ, we're entrusting ourselves to Christ. We're putting our confidence in Christ, that if I follow him, he's going to lead me in the right way and he gives you that confidence. For example, in Matthew six thirty three, he says seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. All these other things will be added to you. What are the things? Well, in that passage, he's talking about food and clothing, all the things that we have to take care of in a family. He says, you seek first my kingdom, my righteousness. I'll take care of you. You have to have confidence that he's going to do that. It John, 10 tennies. It says Jesus that he came to give us life and to give it to us how abundantly.
[00:17:25] That sounds pretty good, don't you think? Abundant life. Sign me up for that. Well, Jesus is saying I give that life. You follow me. You'll get that life. You'll get that abundant life.
[00:17:41] You can take him at his word. And know that you can put your confidence in him. And just for this, any singles who might be here, just to give you a word, you can look at First Corinthians, Chapter seven. First Corinthians, Chapter seven. And you'll see that it's the same kind of a thing here, you got to live out your singleness for the Lord. First Corinthians seven thirty to. Says, I want you to be free from anxieties, the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or Botros woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things. How to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not delay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure here it is your undivided devotion to the Lord. So if you're single, you do not have in a family living in a family context right now. It's still it's. Are you going to live out your singleness in a way that reflects really following the Lord Jesus Christ or you have an undivided devotion to him? Now he's saying he doesn't want you to be distracted like married people are now. I think a lot of married people would consider their marriage a blessed distraction. And the idea is that a husband or wife or to encourage each other in their devotion to the Lord. But the word here to the single person is live. You're out your singleness. Take advantage of this time to be have an undivided devotion to the Lord. Being a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.
[00:19:34] The problem is that too often Jesus is not truly the Lord. In the home. And that's why going back to Luke's six. That's why he says in verse forty six. Why do you call me Lord? Lord. And not do what I tell you. You don't have that plaque up in your house.
[00:19:57] But that's the reality in a lot of homes. They call law, they say Lord, Lord, they come to church and sing songs of praise to him, but they're not going to do what he says. And you got to be beware of an error on the other side. Sometime family can become an idol. Family become become an idol where family is the most important thing, because we want things to go well in our families. We could be tempted to not really do all the things that the Lord would tell us to do. Like if having all the stuff, having a lot of material wealth is important and we'll we're going to pursue that and not pursue the Lord quite so hard because we want a happy family and this is what makes us happy. Or parents, sometimes they want their children to like them. And so, you know, they don't want any confrontation with their children. So they just give their children what they want.
[00:20:54] And sometimes as a parent, you have to tell your kids things they don't want to hear.
[00:21:03] He meant to tell them no. But if you're all hung up, if it's an idol to have your kids really like you, well, then you're going to have a hard time with that confrontation. You know, who really has a problem with this is grandparents. Because they want those grandkids to like them and they don't ever have to say no to those grand kids, because when they get acted up, you just pay mom and dad take care of these kids and they can make idols out of having their grandkids like them. We need to be aware of that, here's the point. The point is, if you want to have a strong family, you have to love Jesus Christ more than your family. You need to be a follower, a committed follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's foundation stone number one is you got to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Let's go back to Luke forty seven and pick up a second foundation stone. Verse 47 says, everyone who comes to me. And here it is. And here's my words and here's my words. This will be the second thing. You can jot this down. You need to listen to the words of the Lord. Listen to the words of the Lord. Everyone who comes to me and hears my words, the Bible is the instruction manual and it tells us everything we need to know to have strong godly families. Turn with me to second Timothy, second Timothy, Chapter three. And let's just think about this in light of of the family's second Timothy. Chapter three, verse 14. Second, Timothy, 314. Paul, writing to his young friend Timothy, says, But as for you continue and what you have learned and. And have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it well, who did he learn it from me? He learned it from a Eunice. Lois and Eunice.
[00:23:09] His grandmother and mother. And as it says there.
[00:23:14] That's back in Chapter one and makes reference to Lois and Eunice. And here it says, You have learned and have firmly believed knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood. That's mom and grandma teaching him the word. You have been acquainted with the sacred writings which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. You and your people in your family to come to know Christ as their savior. You want them to place their faith than the word of God, as is necessary for that. And that's what happened in Timothy's family.
[00:23:44] He heard the word from his mom and his grandma. And that was enough to bring him to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. So it's enough to bring us to salvation. And then verse 16 says, All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training and righteousness. So now is it enough to bring us to salvation, but it's to show us the way to live the Christian life. It shows us the way to go. It's it's a light and a lamp to our path. And that's the way you could look at this verse. It's profitable for teaching. It shows us the path of life.
[00:24:22] It is that light and that lamp showing us the path of life. And it's also profitable for reproof. It shows us when we get off the path and it's profitable for correction to help us get back onto the path. And it's profitable for training and righteousness so that we'll stay on the path.
[00:24:43] Everything you need as a family, you can find in God's word, whether it's bringing children to faith in Christ or showing us the way to go to live the Christian life as a family. It's all there in God's word. Everything we need, you just need to be committed to the world and you need to be committed to it on a daily basis. That turned over a few more books. The first Peter first Peter chapter to. Let me show you a verse that talks about the desire that we should have for God's word. First, Peter, chapter two, verse two. And here to this is like a family illustration. Anybody who's had a family understands this one. Like newborn infants long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up in the salvation. So we're supposed to long for the word just like babies, long for milk do babies, long for milk.
[00:25:44] Well, do you think?
[00:25:45] Yeah. I was the lesson I learned. Pretty dramatically when Bobby was a baby.
[00:25:53] We were trying to make a transition and get him to start taking a bottle every once in a while, you know, you make that transition somewhere along the line. And we thought that this would be a good way for dad and son to spend some time together. So when I would come home from work, I'd sit down, hold my son, give him the bottle. We're going to spend some time together, give mom a little bit of a break, allow her to do some other things and dad and son. So I came home the first day. We're gonna do this. I'm all fired up and excited. All right, son, let's go for it. And we got that bottle of milk and we sat down and I gave him that bottle. And I and I knew, you know, I had received some instructions on this. I knew that everyone while he's supposed to stop them and burp him.
[00:26:37] Right. Well, I tried to stop them. I tried to get that bottle out of his mouth, but he wasn't letting go. He wanted that milk. He's not letting go. There's a baby that wants his milk. And so I'm like, all right, son. Go for it. And so he did, and we all suffered the consequences the rest of the night. But the point was that he was a baby and he wanted milk.
[00:27:06] Is that how you want God's word? Are people having to rip God's word out of your hands because you're so hungry for it? You can't get enough of it. And, you know, if a baby doesn't want milk, there's one or two things that's wrong. Either that baby is dead. And the spiritual analogy would be you're not really a Christian. That's why you're not hungry for the milk of God's word or that baby is sick. You know, you have a baby that doesn't want the milk. There's something wrong. What's wrong with the baby? They must be sick somehow. And if you look back at verse one, it will tell us that, too, about a Christian. It says so put a way, all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. And then like newborn infants long for the pure spiritual milk, there's some sin that must be taken care of. There's some sin that needs to be confessed and repented of. That's what's keepin the Christian from really longing for the pure milk of God's word.
[00:28:10] We need to be committed to the word like babies are to milk.
[00:28:14] The Bible is where the strength comes from. The Bible's where we get the encouragement. It's where the motivation comes from. And so as a family, you need to be into God's word. You need to have like a family Bible time over. You just get together as a family and doesn't have to be very long and be 10 minutes where you just read part of the Bible. You talk a little bit about it. You pray together and it's just a regular part of your process. And then for children growing up, what you do as a family becomes the pattern for what they do personally, where they start personally spending some time reading the Bible, thinking about it and praying over it each day as they take in the pure milk of the word.
[00:28:56] And, you know, even just like a husband and wife to do that, you don't have to have kids to have family Bible time, because the way I understand it, a husband or wife, they are a family.
[00:29:08] Yeah, so husbands and wives can spend time just reading the Bible together, and you've got to look at it as this isn't some kind of drudgery. This is some kind of hard thing. This is a get to not a got to. You get to read God's word. You should approach it that way. Hey, family. We get to read God's word. This is exciting. Let's do it. And just to remind you of the benefits of God's word. I could read to you from Psalm 19, Psalm 19 versus seven through eleven.
[00:29:39] This is a remind us of how important God's word is, how valuable it is and why we should want to be in it all the time. It says The Law of the Lord is perfect. Reviving the soul. The testimony of the Lord is sure making wise the simple precepts of the Lord are right rejoicing. The heart that commanded the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes, the fear. The Lord is clean, enduring forever. The rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether in verse ten more to be desired, are they than gold. Even much find gold sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned in keeping them. There is great reward. That sounds like this is what you want to be doing. I mean, this is more desirable than gold, it's sweeter than honey. And in keeping God's word, there is great reward.
[00:30:36] Why? Why wouldn't I want to be hearing God's word?
[00:30:41] Jesus says you need to listen to his words and you need to make that really practical in your home, spending time together in the word of God and the scripture is critical to the health and strength of a family in clashes 316. It says, let the word of Christ richly dwell within you. That's cloches 316. Verse 18 starts the instruction regarding the family. It's no coincidence. There's a connection between the word of Christ richly dwelling within you and the strength of your family. It's the same thing in Ephesians. We picked that up in verse 22 instruction for the family. But if you go back diverse 18, it says be filled with the spirit, which is the equivalent of letting the word of Christ richly dwell within you. If I want to be filled with the spirit living under the influence of the spirit. If my thinking is going to be dominated by the spirit, then my thinking has to be filled up with the word of Christ.
[00:31:44] That's what my family needs.
[00:31:49] It's amazing to me as a pastor through the years. It's always amazing to me how little families get into the Bible together. How many couples come to me for counsel and I ask him, so tell me about your time in the world together. Yeah. We don't really do that. And it's amazing when I talk about, you know, families spending time in the world on a daily basis. You know, I mean, some days maybe that's not physically possible, but every day that you can't some people think I'm like a legalist. For suggesting that families read the Bible together, well, you know, we eat every day to.
[00:32:32] I put clothes on my kids every day, too. What kind of legalist am I? There's a lot of bad thinking about this, but you want to have a strong family. You need to listen to the words of the Lord.
[00:32:48] But there's more to it than just the listening. You need to listen, you need to understand. You need to know what it says. But there's more to it. If we go back to Luke, Chapter six. I'll give you a third foundation stone. Luke, Chapter six, going back again to verse 47. Says everyone who comes to me, that's where it begins. Your commitment to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. And here's my words. That's the second thing. You listen to his words.
[00:33:15] And here's the third thing. And does them. And does them.
[00:33:22] So there's your third foundation, stone. There's a third thing you can write down, you got to obey Jesus's words.
[00:33:30] Obey his words.
[00:33:32] You can't be satisfied with just hearing. His words, you know, you're not really believing his word if you're not doing it.
[00:33:45] You know, there was the Bibles written by Jewish people, Luke would be one of one.
[00:33:53] Exception to that, but it's written from a Jewish perspective and the Jewish way of thinking is different than our way of thinking in our modern Western world, in the Jewish world.
[00:34:03] You didn't know anything if you didn't do it.
[00:34:06] Whereas in our reality, we can think we know all kinds of stuff that we don't do. But it's their way of thinking you didn't know anything if you weren't doing it. And that's the same thing here. You're not really believing Jesus words if you're not doing them.
[00:34:21] Too many people are just happy with knowing what the Bible says. That's a real danger in Bible teaching churches where people put their confidence in. They know what the Bible says and they can correct anybody who's in error. But are they doing it?
[00:34:39] Is the real issue.
[00:34:42] And notice that the illustration that Jesus gives here, both of these men here, the words, they both hear them, but only one of them acts on it. Let's look at what it says here. He says in verse 47 and here's my word.
[00:35:00] And does the mouse show you what he's like? He's like a man building a house who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against the house and could not shake it because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it immediately it fell and the ruin of that house was great.
[00:35:29] So, one, they both heard one of them acted on what he heard. The other didn't. And it led to totally different consequences in their lives. People may hear the preaching of God's word. They may listen to the teaching of God's word, but not all act. And that's why, again, verse 46, Jesus, why do you call me Lord Lord and not do what I tell you?
[00:35:54] Now you're going to hear the sadness in his voice. As he says that.
[00:36:00] And you know, in the illustration here, the one who does Jesus word, it says that he dug deep.
[00:36:06] He applied some effort, he put some hard work into this. He took it seriously. You know, to put that in the context of a family, this is a man who wants to know all that the Bible teaches in regard to the family. And he's working out the application of that in his life within his home. He's experiencing some spiritual sweat. He's digging deep. He's working hard to apply God's word into his home.
[00:36:41] The one, though, who listens and doesn't do that guy is going to experience great ruin.
[00:36:48] You know, some men may work really hard to provide physically for their wives, their children. But do they work as hard to provide for them spiritually?
[00:36:59] And in the end, that's going to matter a whole lot more.
[00:37:06] You have to go at it with some conviction. The conviction that the word of God is going to help me.
[00:37:12] The word of God is gonna give me instruction and direction. The word of God is going to address every dimension of my family life. The Bible does address marriage. The Bible does address parenting. It does talk about money and communication and work all the things that are essential in a family.
[00:37:33] There's lots of practical instruction in the Bible on all of these issues. In fact, the Book of Proverbs all by itself would cover all of these subjects very practically. In fact, now when people ask me what's a good book on marriage and family, I tell them proverbs.
[00:37:54] You don't need to go buy another book. You already got it right there. Book of Proverbs.
[00:38:00] And you can apply the scripture to your family, like the passage we're looking at in Luke six. It's not a family passage. But it's got some things to say that you can apply to your family.
[00:38:13] You'll find everything your family needs know when you build a house.
[00:38:17] You have to build, according to the code, the code that the city is established, you got to build according to code while you want to build your family. Bible provides the code. That you need to follow. And just to help you think that through think through, how would this work out, how would I apply this in my family was something that the Bible teaches, something that I should be doing in my home. Let me let me give you an example. How about the whole idea of showing honor and respect to the people in your family? About that one sort of little honor and respect. When I think of showing honor and respect in a family, I think about how you talk to each other and how you talk about each other. Do you talk in a respectful kind of a way you show an honor to the other people in the family? And it's more than just the words you say, right? It's how you say it to. There's an attitude behind it. There would be times, Bobbie and Billie. They might say all the right words. We'd say that was good. Those were good words. Let's try doing it again without that smirk on your face. And then they do it again without that smirk on their face. We say, well, that was better, but now let's try it again without rolling your eyes. Why you're saying it? Well, let's work on this. Showing honor and respect to each other in the Bible teaches us that.
[00:39:50] Look at Ephesians Chapter six. Let me just give you some examples here. Faison's chapter six, verse two. This is the second verse you teach your children. Verse one is children obey your parents. We've got to get that one down. And then verse two. Is honor your father and mother.
[00:40:13] Honor your father and mother.
[00:40:17] Show respect to your mother and father, speak respectfully to them, speak respectfully about them, show an attitude of respect and honor towards them. And, you know, this isn't just for kids living at home. This is a lifelong command. To honor your father and mother.
[00:40:44] Things change when you grow up and you leave the home. You know, I'm 61, my dad still lives 93 and he's not telling me to eat my green beans anymore. He's not telling me what time to go to bed anymore.
[00:40:58] But I still have an obligation to honor him every way that I can because he's my dad and he's still my dad.
[00:41:09] Does it matter how old we get? I can support that. For example, from Maskew 15, you don't need to turn there. You might jot this down.
[00:41:17] Matthew Fifteen verses four and five. Jesus talking to the Pharisees. And the first is it's set up all these traditions, law, other traditions contradicted the word of God. And in fact, he says that a verse three, why do you break that commandment of God for the sake your tradition and here's the example he gives for God commanded honor your father and your mother and whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. You might want to put that one on the refrigerator. We're serious about this verse. Verse five, war. Well, what were they doing this? Well, he is verse voices.
[00:41:57] But you say if anyone tells his father or his mother what you would have gained from me is given to God, he'd need not honor his father. She's obviously talking about an adult who has some means by which they could help their father.
[00:42:11] But they've created this convenient little tradition which says, no, no, no, I can I can devote these resources to God and therefore I can't touch them to help you, Dad.
[00:42:22] It sounds spiritual, but it's violating God's word to honor your father.
[00:42:29] You're supposed to honor your parents. And I could tell you today that I could do something today that would dishonor my father because he's my father. And I could expect that if I did something to dishonor him, that I might hear from him about that.
[00:42:47] And that would be fair because he's my dad. And I'm obligated. To honor him. This is a hard one. It's a hard one for all of us. I was doing some Grampian duty recently with some grand kids out playing in the yard, and I'm the one supervising.
[00:43:07] And one of the grandkids was unkind. One of the other grandkids. Trying to keep this so you don't know who I'm talking about. And so I'm the one supervised and I'm the one responsible out there. Right. I got took these kids out. They got all come back in. That's my job. And so the one who was unkind, I said, OK, you're out.
[00:43:30] You know, you're like in the penalty box right now. And he wasn't too happy about that. And he wasn't feeling like honoring his grandpa at that moment.
[00:43:41] And he said to me, you know, you're not my boss.
[00:43:51] And I said, I am the boss of the backyard right now.
[00:43:56] That's that's my job right now.
[00:43:58] And then he told me that he knows somebody older than me.
[00:44:05] And I said, too bad they're not here right now. You're stuck with me. Get in the penalty box honoring people.
[00:44:15] That's that's a hard thing because we have to deal with our pride and our selfishness. We've got to honor. Children need to honor their parents to go back to the Fijians verse, chapter five, verse 33. Let me talk about wives and their husbands again. And they to submit better to submit in a respectful way. Verse 33 says, however, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband there. There it is right there. What does it look like to do the words of the Lord? Well, here's some words and they'd apply directly to your family. Showing honor and respect to the people in your family wives. See to it that you respect your husband's. The way you talk to him, the way you talk. That's I mean, you agree with him on everything that he wants to do or everything that he says. But if you're going to disagree with him, this has everything to say about how you're going to go about disagreeing with him, doesn't it?
[00:45:19] You got to do it in a respectful way.
[00:45:25] Wives need to respect their husbands, look over at first, Peter, Chapter three. Let's talk to the husbands here first, Peter. Chapter three. For Peter, chapter three, verse seven.
[00:45:43] Says, likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor.
[00:45:52] Showing Onur.
[00:45:56] So you're supposed to love your wife in a sacrificial kind of a way, leading her in a way that would be best for her.
[00:46:03] You're to live with her in an understanding way and you're to do all of that, showing honor to her. Showing that you value her, that you appreciate her. In every way that you can't. Husbands. You need to honor your wives.
[00:46:29] So children honor parents, wives respect their husbands, husbands honor their wives. And we're supposed to show honor and respect to our children as well.
[00:46:41] If you look over and first, Peter, if you're there, chapter two, verse 17, the first two words say honor every one.
[00:46:51] Honor every one.
[00:46:54] Romans, 13 seven says give honor to whom honor is due. Sometimes that's your children. You know, we correct them when they do wrong. We need to honor them when they do. Well. That helps our children understand the difference between right and wrong. When they get corrected for doing wrong and they get honored for doing what's right, they should get shown appreciation that that helps them. And there's a lot of practical ways that parents can show respect and honor to their children. You know, sometimes kids are playing. They're just doing what they do. They're playing with their toys. They're in their room. They're not causing any trouble. They're just playing away. And mom and dad all of a sudden come flying in and say, get up. We're going we're going to the store right now. Well, that's not being very respectful to your child.
[00:47:46] How about if you gave that child like a two minute or maybe even a five minute warning? And said, hey, five minutes from now, we're going to get ready and go to the store so you can keep playing for now, but five minutes we're going to get ready to go. Wouldn't that be, like, respectful to your kids? How would you like it if you're just doing your thing and somebody came in and said, hey, we got to go right now?
[00:48:07] You wouldn't think that was very respectful. But parents do that to their kids all the time. That's not being very honorable or respectful for the job we're supposed to show honor and respect to each other within a family. So this is a way to obey the words of Christ in a very practical way within the life of a home. That would strengthen your family. I mean, just think how much better a family could be if the members of the family would follow Christ and listen to his words and obey them. Just in this one area of honor and respect this, think how much better a family could be if they just worked on this one thing for a while.
[00:48:50] Here's the here's the deal. You need to live like a Christian at home. Now we come to church and we act like Christians at church. How about if we live like Christians at home? Lot times when when couples come to me for counsel and they tell me about their problems, I'll sometimes I'll just simply outright say it. Yeah, you need to start living like Christians at home. I asked the problem, you come here, you're acting like Christians, not live in like it at home. You need to live like Christians at home, you need to do what the Lord says.
[00:49:33] So you need to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Need to listen to the words of the Lord. You do obey the Lord. And let me give you a fourth corner stone or fourth Stone Foundation stone. And let's go to a different passage. Matthew, Chapter 16. Matthew, chapter 16, verse 18, I know you're pretty familiar with this verse. This is the Lord's speaking to Peter Peters has made this great confession that you are the Christ, the son of the living God and verse 18 Jesus. As I tell you, you are Peter. And on this rock, the rock of your confession here, I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. There is a divine guarantee, a divine promise that Jesus is going to build his church. Nothing is going to stop his church. And so here's a fourth foundation stone for you. You and your family, you need to actively participate in the life of the local church. Actively participate in the life of the local church. As families, we can get involved in a lot of different things and they can be good things, but there's only one thing that has the personal guarantee of the Lord Jesus Christ. And that is he's going to build his church. I want to be on the winning team. He's building his church. He's guaranteed it. I want to be part of the church. I want my family to be part of the church. The church doesn't replace the family, but it's meant to be a great help to the family. I just think about the ways that the church can help your family. It's a place where we can all get instructed. We can come in here, God's word. And I trust that you're being helped some by this message today. But we're just scratching the surface of what the Bible teaches about the family. There's a whole lot more and a whole lot more depth that you could get into regarding your family and a whole bunch of other subjects that are important to your Christian life and family. And we try to instruct everybody so that it's helpful to them. That's why you have a youth ministry and children's ministries to try to help everybody understand and get instructed from God's word so that they can understand what it says. Also, the church is a place of fellowship. The church is a family, isn't it? We're brothers and sisters. And so the church is not in competition with my family. I would never think of it that way. I would think that my family's part of a bigger family. A family called the church. And in the church, we enjoy fellowship with one another. We help one another, we encourage one another. We pray for each other. And especially we pray for each other and encourage each other with our families.
[00:52:27] I know I welcome the involvement of other people in our church, in the lives of our children, because my prayer when they were born was that they would grow up to be better Christians than me. So I figured if I gave them everything that I had and then they got input from other people who could provide things that I couldn't for them, that that would take them beyond where I'm at. And so my desire was for them to be better Christians than me. That meant I was going to welcome the input of other people. And I can give you a long list of people who significantly invested in the lives of my sons.
[00:53:06] And what a difference it makes. And that's because of the church, the importance, the value of the church.
[00:53:15] Another thing that's important about the church for me in my family is it's a place for worship. It's a place where we all come together as a family to worship the Lord with our church family. And, you know, it's not my church. It's not me and my wife's church. It's our church family. And we're all going to join in together and worship the Lord because it's really all about him, not all about us.
[00:53:42] It's all about him.
[00:53:46] As a family, we need to be all in with the church.
[00:53:52] You know, too many people view the churches like an emergency room. And they just show up and get serious when things are really bad. A lot of times people come to me for marriage counseling and as they lay out their story, it's like two outs, bottom of the ninth, and I'm supposed to win the game for them.
[00:54:12] Or why couldn't you come in the first inning? Because they waited till it was an emergency. Some people see the church is just like a social club. It's where I go with my friends and hang out. And it's a safe environment. Some people see the church as like just an appendix. You can live without it. You can outgrow it, but you can't think that way if you're thinking like Jesus. Jesus doesn't think about it that way. Got to see the church is indispensable to the strength of your family. In fact, you need to see the church as a great big gift from the Lord to your family. The church is. The closest thing on earth to heaven. Closest thing to heaven on earth is the church. You know, there's this place called Disneyland, if you heard of it. Happiest place on Earth. Well, if it's the happiest place on earth. Me and my family, we want to go be happy. And so we do. But the church is even better. It's the closest thing to heaven on earth. You should thank God every day for Compass. Huntington Beach.
[00:55:30] Now, now, some of you might be sitting here wondering, well, how does that work exactly? How do I have a strong commitment to the church and do all the other things that our family wants to do?
[00:55:44] Well, you know, we had children and we raised them and, yeah, we were committed to the church.
[00:55:49] In fact, if you talk to one of them, you might get this kind of a story that we were there every time the doors opened and we were the first ones there and the last ones to leave, you know. But, Bobbie, he might exaggerate from time to time just just to let you know that he might just exaggerate a little bit from time to time. But it's basically true. We were committed to the church. We were involved in the church. But that's not all we did. My kids, they went to school.
[00:56:17] They did. They went to school. And they were involved in all kinds of sports. I often wish I had kept count of how many of their games I went and watched. They were involved in sports a lot and they were involved in things going on at school.
[00:56:33] You might find this hard to believe, but Bobby was involved with the drama department.
[00:56:39] Yeah, they did music, they did work. In fact, two of our boys had jobs while they were in high school that they got fired from. I thought that was great. This is the time to learn while you're still at home and mom can hug you and bake something for you to make you happy. But that was a valuable lesson for them to learn. So they did all those things. It is possible to be heavily involved in the church and still do other things. You don't have to sacrifice the church at all. In fact, one writer put it like this. If a Christian family allows its involvement in outside activities to take priority over faithful attendance and involvement in its local church, it's settling for second best.
[00:57:29] The this careless example will affect generations to come.
[00:57:36] If mom and dad don't take the church serious, what are the kids supposed to think about it? You know, I started off telling you that when Roberta and I got married, we didn't know what we were doing. We've learned a lot, but by no means have we arrived. We still have a lot to learn.
[00:57:58] That every time I think I've figured out what her favorite thing is, she changes her mind. I'm still learning. And things in life change, and you keep learning and growing. Our family hasn't arrived. We have a lot of growing and maturing left to do. We haven't arrived. But with God's help, you can have a strong family, a family that can withstand all the storms of this world.
[00:58:25] And as you see the storm clouds forming and getting darker and darker every day, then you know it's time to start digging down deep. It's time to get serious and all the spiritual resources you need are available to you in Jesus Christ. You just need to make sure you build on the right foundation.
[00:58:47] I just want to close by saying something to all the men in particular in the room, because we're called to be the leaders as the men. I was watching the Olympics the other night. There was a relay race being run and they interviewed the team, one of the teams after the race and the kind of the leader of the team spoke on behalf of the team. And he said that what he said to the other guys on the team as they were preparing is that if you want to compete at this level, if you want to compete at the Olympics and be successful, then you need to be all about it or you're going to get swallowed up.
[00:59:24] Men. If you want your family to be strong, you better be all about it or you will. You and your family will get swallowed up. You're going to experience great ruin. I've seen it too many times in the church. You'd better be all about it or you will get swallowed up because we have an enemy who is out to destroy you and your family. You better be all about it or you will get swallowed up. You don't have to be, though, you can build on the right foundation and you can withstand all the storms. You focus on making your family what God calls it to be. Who knows? Maybe the Lord will send a revival. Let's pray. Well, we thank you that we have such a great savior, savior who loves us perfectly, a savior who sacrificed himself for us, a savior who not only forgives all of our sins, but a savior who changes us and gives us power to live a whole new kind of a life. Lord, I pray for the families here at the CompassHB Huntington Beach that you would strengthen them by your word and your spirit, that they would build upon the foundation that you've provided in your word, and that they be a real testimony in that regard to the world around them, and they be strengthened and fortified against the battles that they'll be facing in the days to come. Or so thankful for your grace, your goodness, your kindness, your patients, so thankful for how generously you give to us.
[01:01:11] Lord, help us to show our love for you in the way we live within our families. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen.
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