I invite you to take your Bibles and open up this morning to 1 Corinthians chapter 4. 1 Corinthians 4. We're going to look at verses 14 through 21 for our time in God's word here this morning, and we're going to be continuing the theme that we started last week about making disciples. Last week, you remember, Pastor Josh preached about making disciples in the church, and we talked about that in our fellowship groups this week. In light of the parenting conference coming up this next weekend, we're going to focus on making disciples in the home. And it is absolutely clear that disciple making is the mission of the church. In Matthew 28:18-20, that's the mission that our Lord himself gave to the church, that were to go make disciples, baptize them, and teach them. That is the mission. And this mission is not optional. This isn't like Mission Impossible. You know your mission, should you choose to accept it. There's nothing optional about this. This is a command from the Lord, the one who has all authority. This is his command to his church. And even though it is a command, it often is neglected by many Christians, and one of the most neglected places for disciple making is in the home, because the parents just figure they can leave that part to the church.
You know, when our children were born, I didn't know much, but I knew I was committed to making disciples of them. I wanted them to grow up to be real, genuine followers of Jesus Christ, who eventually could make more disciples, and this thing could keep multiplying. That's one way I thought I could maximize my impact for Christ in this world. And that's really all I want. And what a great opportunity with our children! You know, I've been making disciples before we had children. But when you connect up with somebody in the church and you start discipling, or you lead somebody to Christ out of the world, and you start discipling them, you kind of take what you get, and they usually come with a lot of baggage that you have to kind of work through and deal with. But with the kids, with my kids, I'm getting them fresh out of the oven. And what a great opportunity. And I knew that if the Lord would be gracious and we could make disciples, we could be starting a process that would continue until the Lord returns. And so, I'm here to ask all of you here today, all of you, are you committed to making disciples? Are you making disciples? And for the parents in particular, are you committed to making disciples of the children that the Lord has given you? Are you committed to doing it? Are you doing it? Are you committed to preparing your children to live holy lives in an unholy world and make an impact for Jesus Christ? That's what we're here to talk about today. And so, I want us to look at the passage here in 1 Corinthians 4:14-21. And out of honor for God's word, let's stand as I read the passage for us. This is the apostle Paul talking to the church in the city of Corinth, chapter four, starting in verse 14, and going to the end of the chapter. He says,
I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church. Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power. For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power. What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?
That is God's Word? Please be seated now. You can tell just by reading the text, it's not talking about parenting, it's talking to the whole church. But the words that he uses here, words like “children” in verse 14 and “father” in verse 15 and then again in verse 17. Timothy is his child. And even the reference to the rod in verse 21 he uses some parenting terminology. So, this can work for helping parents to understand making disciples in the home, as well as help all of us to understand what disciple making is about. Because how many Christians are supposed to be making disciples? All. Right. You could have said that a little stronger, but I understand it's nine o'clock. We'll get there. We are all to do this, and so this text is going to help us.
And discipleship is not a program. It's not a series of steps that you take somebody through. It happens in different ways, but everywhere it's truly done, there are certain essentials that are practiced. And I want us to identify five essentials for spiritual parenting that we find in the text here today, and you're going to want to write these down. You're going to want to write them down on your handout. You might want to write them down in the margin of your Bible. You might want to write them in the back of your Bible, somewhere where you will have these that you can constantly review them, so that you don't get distracted off of the mission of making disciples, because if that's the mission, you can be sure Satan knows that's the mission, and he's doing everything he can to distract you and give you reasons and excuses why you're not being obedient to the command to make disciples. So, let's look at these essentials.
And essential number one is “Evangelize.” You're going to make disciples, you have to evangelize. Look at verse 15 with me. He says, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” He says you can have a lot of guides, a lot of teachers, a lot of tutors, people who can help you in your walk with Christ. But he said you’ve only got one father, and he says that because he's the one who brought them to Christ through the gospel, he had evangelized them, and they had responded in faith. And that's where discipleship begins with bringing someone to faith in Christ. Sadly, there are an awful lot of Christians who have never led anybody to Christ, but that's got to be what we do. If we're going to be making disciples, we’ve got to be evangelizing. And as a parent, this has to be your burning desire for your child, to see them come to know Christ.
Your child is not a good kid. I apologize if that hurts you, but not really. Your child is not a good kid. They were born with the exact same sin nature that everybody else was born with. In fact, according to 1 Peter 1:18, they inherited that from you, no matter what you do. And I've seen parents try to do everything. I mean, they're working really hard on the behavior of their kids. They're trying everything they can to protect their kids from the evil world. They're trying to create this kind of bubble that their child can live in, thinking, apparently, that this is going to make them more savable. But all of that attention to the external is missing the main issue; the issue is their heart. And we can be worried about what's going on out in the world and protecting our kids from that, but they're carrying the world around with them right in their hearts, because all that you see in the world is just a manifestation of what's in people's hearts, and it's same stuff as in your child's heart, and the gospel is the only thing that can penetrate the heart and bring about real change.
And so, you have to evangelize. Your prayers and efforts must be directed towards them, coming to a real trust in Jesus Christ. And so, in our evangelizing, we want to keep the focus on Christ. Focus has to be on Christ. And Paul did that. He reminds the Corinthians of the commitments of his ministry and what he did when he was there with them. In 1 Corinthians 1:23 he says, “We preach Christ crucified.” That was the central point of the message. He understood that people wanted something else, but I'm going to give them what they need, and that is to hear about Jesus Christ. And in 1 Corinthians 2:2, he said, “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” He kept the focus on Christ. That's where we need to keep the focus too, because we're not just aiming at morality or raising good, upstanding citizens or nice church people, we want our unbelieving children to become mature followers of Jesus Christ. And that right there, that sentence right there is the essence of discipleship, taking someone from the unbelieving condition that they're born in and leading them to Christ and all the way to maturity in Christ. That's what we want for our children. If we're going to do that, we have to keep the focus on Jesus Christ, and we have to be crystal clear on the gospel with them; our hope is in the power of the gospel. In Romans 1:16 Paul says, “I'm not ashamed of the gospel, because it's the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first, and even to your children.” Everybody who trusts in Jesus will be saved. It's the gospel that brings them to salvation.
Look with me at 1 Peter, chapter 1, where Peter talks about this and the work of the Word in bringing people to salvation. 1 Peter 1:23. He says, “Since you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but imperishable through the living and abiding word of God, for all flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.” And this Word is the good news that was preached to you, good news. We want our children to hear that good news, and you have to be able to spell it out clearly for them. We have an example of what Paul did in Corinth given to us in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4. He just lays out the gospel and the priority of the gospel. He says, “Now I would remind you brothers of the gospel I preached to you which you received, in which you stand and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word. I preached to you unless you believed in vain, for I delivered to you, as of first importance, what I also received, that Christ died for our sins in accordance to the scriptures, that He was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.” So, there you can see is the gospel message was the priority, and it's all about this person of Christ, who is the Son of God, who is the promised Savior, who came into the world, He died for our sins, taking the penalty that we deserve on himself as our substitute. He was buried in a tomb, and then he rose from the dead, and he's alive today, and if you come to genuine faith in him, you will be saved. Our children need to understand that. And there is not a children's version of the gospel. It's not like we want them to believe this children's version, and then maybe when they turn eighteen, they'll graduate to the adult version of the Bible. There's only one gospel, and that's what we need to make clear to them. And I don't know about you, but I think it's easier to simply explain the gospel and have kids understand it, than adults. Kids don't have any problem believing there's a God who created everything, and they don't have any problem believing that they do wrong things, because you're reminding them of that all the time. And they don't have any problem understanding, yeah, I need a Savior, and they can believe that Jesus loved them, and Jesus died on the cross, and Jesus rose again, and if I believe in him, I can be saved. You need to make that crystal clear to them.
Now, some parents here today, you're still in this phase with your children where you're evangelizing them. They have not yet come to faith in Christ and the conference this weekend should fill in a lot of things about parenting your children through all of their life but let me just say a couple of things regarding evangelism here. And one would be, with your children, be patient. Be patient with them. Don't try to force it on them. You know, I'm pretty sure I could get any three-year-old to say that they love Jesus and to say it with passion. But what does that mean? Is that for real? Be patient with them and learn to use every opportunity that you have when evil things happen in the world that they are aware of, that's an opportunity to show them what man's sin can do. And this is exactly why we need a Savior. And every act of personal disobedience that they commit provides you with an opportunity to show them again that this is why we need a savior, who can not only forgive us for our sins, but who can change us. This is why we need a Savior. And every fear that they have provides an opportunity for you to talk to them about Christ and the peace that they can find in him. He's like a good shepherd who never leaves his sheep. You can trust in him. You don't need to be afraid. You need to make the most of every opportunity and be patient with them
And also, be prayerful, because you cannot save your children, but God can, and you need to ask him to save your children. And so, you need to be fervent in prayer. And I would encourage you to be positive with them, to encourage every positive step that they take towards Jesus Christ. You want to encourage that. And you do want to read the Bible with them on a regular basis, and not to teach them good behavior, not to sit them down and say, hey, I want you to become more like Daniel. Here, let me show you what Daniel did. It's to show them what a great God Daniel had, what a great God we have, and what a Savior Jesus Christ is, and to show them, from the Scripture, what a changed life looks like. And do not give them false assurance. Don't give them something that you can't give them. You can't give them assurance of their salvation. Don't give them false assurance. But on the other hand, don't set a standard that's higher than what the Bible says. An awful lot of discouraged kids because they could never live up to the standard that their parents were setting for them. I had a man once come to me. He had a son. He had some questions. He knew I had sons, so he thought I could maybe help him. And literally, what he said to me was, I'm hoping to get some of your secret sauce. What I told him, I'm pretty sure I don't have any secret sauce, but I'll go to lunch with you. And so we went to lunch, and he's telling me about his son, and he's expressing his concerns for his son and telling me this and that, and then finally said, yeah, remind me again how old your son is. And he said, he's seven years old. I said, you know what he sounds like? A perfectly normal seven-year-old boy. You just need to keep loving him and teaching him and correcting him and being involved with him. I think this guy was expecting his seven-year-old to be living the life of the apostle Paul. That's not going to happen. So don't set the standard too high. Bring them to Jesus. Help them understand the truth about Jesus and teach them what it means to trust in Jesus. Bring them to Jesus. We want to make disciples. We have to evangelize.
Let me give you a second essential. Going back to our text here in 1 Corinthians 4, the second essential would be “Love.” Love. Look at verse 14 again. He says, “I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.” My beloved children. Paul loved the Corinthians, and he loved them deeply, despite how exasperating they could be. He thought of them as his beloved children. And the love spoken of here is the strongest kind of love, a self-sacrificing love. The Corinthians did little, if anything, to deserve Paul's love, but they had it in full from Paul. Let me just give you a little definition of this kind of love that you might find helpful. It's an intense concern, an intense concern, for the well-being of another person. You want nothing but the best for them. You want what's good for them. You have intense concern for their well-being, and that intense concern moves you to an uncomplaining, self-sacrificing action on their behalf. You might want to underline the uncomplaining part there. Paul had this kind of intense concern for the well-being of the Corinthians, and he would make tremendous sacrifices on their behalf. They could be rebellious; they could be worldly. They could act in a carnal way, at times. And they could be arrogant, even as he mentions in our passage. And that might sound a lot like some young people living at your house, but he would be patient with them, because he loved them. He loved them. In fact, he would lay down his life for them. I want to show you some of the statements he makes to them. Look with me over at 2 Corinthians chapter 6. These are incredible statements of Paul's love for the Corinthians, despite all of the opposition and trouble that they were making for him. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13. He says, “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, our heart is wide open.” We're not holding back anything. Our heart, our affections, our love, are wide open towards you. Verse 12, “You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections.” In other words, they're not returning this affection. He says, “In return, I speak as to children, widen your hearts also.” His heart is wide open towards them. He loved them, even though their love towards him was restricted. In 2 Corinthians 11:11, he's talking about what he's been doing, and he says, “And why, why am I doing this? Because I do not love you? God knows I do. And that's a strong statement. When you bring God in as a witness to say, God knows I really love you. I genuinely love you. I want nothing, but what's good for you. And then the most amazing statement is in 2 Corinthians 12:14-15, where it says here, for the third time, “I am ready to come to you, and I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours, but you, for children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.” I'll spend everything I've got; I'll give everything I have. I'll put all the energy, all the affection, everything I have, into this thing for the sake of your souls. I am totally in, all in on this. And then he says this, “If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” See the apostle Paul, it wasn't determined by how much they were loving him. He's all in for loving them and loving them more.
That's kind of love you’ve got to have if you want to really make disciples. This is the kind of love the Apostle Paul had. He could be patient with them, because he loved them with a Christ-like love, and he was willing to lay down his life for them. And this is the way a parent should love their children. This is the kind of love a parent should have for their children. Unfortunately, I've spoken to many parents through the years, and as they've expressed their frustrations, their anger, their bitterness over their children, I've had at times to stop them and ask them, do you really even love your children? Because you're not talking like it. Parents, you’ve got to ask yourself, is your love for your children dependent on their performance, or are you going to love them more, even if they love you less? We must parent with understanding and gentleness and patience. It's all drawn from a genuine love for our children.
You know, they grow slowly, not only physical children, but spiritual children. They grow slowly. Sometimes they foul up. Some of them foul up a lot of the time, and they have a hard time, it seems even just learning the basics. But as a parent, if you want to disciple them, you must have a growing love for them, even if they love you less. So, if we're going to make disciples, you're going to be a spiritual parent. Couple of essentials are you’ve got to “evangelize” and you have to “love.”
Third, going back to our text there in 1, Corinthians, 4. Third essential is to “Admonish,” admonish. Look again at verse 14, which said, “I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.” A parent admonishes their children, but a loving parent doesn't do it sharply. They're not out to shame the child. They're not out to provoke the child to anger or embitter the child. They're not out to wound you. Don't admonish to wound your child, you admonish to correct your child. To admonish could be translated with words like “to warn” or “to counsel.” It's to warn or to counsel with a view towards a change. Something needs to change. Here, in fact, you're maybe familiar with the verse in Ephesians 6:4, where “parents are to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”. That word “instruction” in the way it's translated in Ephesians 6:4 is the same word that's translated “admonish” here, and that helps us understand the use of this word. It's a compound Greek word that we get this from nouthetó, or new faces; it's two Greek words, nous, meaning mind and theto, meaning to put into. So, it's to put into their mind, some counsel, some instruction, some warning, with a view towards change. That's what we are to be doing.
And you know, as we read through the Old Testament, we see some examples. We see some good examples, and we see some not so good examples. When we started in 1 Samuel, and it's all about Samuel there at the beginning, and there's this man named Eli, who's the priest. And Eli seems like a pretty good guy, but he's got two evil, wicked sons. And here's what it says. Here's the word that says that comes against Eli from the Lord. It says in 1 Samuel 3:13 “And I will declare to him that I'm about to punish his house forever for the iniquity that he knew” because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. And the Hebrew word that's translated their “restraint,” when they translated the Old Testament into the Greek, they used the same word that we're seeing as admonished in 1 Corinthians 4. He would not admonish them, he would not warn them, and there were deadly consequences as a result. And you see where Paul says a parent doesn't want to openly shame their child. They're not out to mock them or to admonish them in anger, and often parents, I mean, let's be honest here at church on a Sunday morning, sometimes right from the get-go, it's a closed case, and we're walking in assuming the worst. You know, I can remember as a dad, there would be times when I'm in another room and I hear something going on in their room, and it's not sounding good, and it's escalating, and it just keeps going. And as it goes, I'm getting more and more annoyed. I might even have been a little angry. And I hear this going on, and then at some point, something gets knocked over, something gets broken, somebody's crying. And so now I've got to go in there, and I walk in there, and I look at the wreckage, and I go from being the arresting officer to the prosecuting attorney to the judge, to the jury to the jailer, like in 30 seconds. I don't know what went on in here, but somebody's going to prison. That was not good.
We need to admonish our children, but we need to learn to do it in a godly, loving way. You know, some homes are parent-centered, where the parent just brings down the hammer on the kids. Too many homes are child-centered, where everything revolves around the children and giving them whatever it is they want. You must strive to have a Christ-centered home in any given situation. It's not about what I want, it's not about what they want. It's about what would Christ want. And you know, same kind of thing happens in the church. We're in a discipling relationship, or we're in a fellowship group. We're all trying to encourage one another, teach and admonish one another, and somebody gets out of line, and we just slam on them, or worse, we'll engage in slander and gossip and malicious talk about them. That is not helpful, that is sinful. Or, out of a mistaken view of love, will do nothing about what's going on in the person's life, and we'll make excuses for them for why they're doing that, and excuses for why we're not doing anything about it. You if you want to make disciples, you have to evangelize, you have to love and you have to be committed to admonishing in a correct and helpful way.
There's a fourth essential. Going back to our text, fourth essential, and that is, “Show the Way.” You want to make disciples? You’ve got to show them the way. Look at what he says in verses 16 and 17. He says, “I urge you then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ as I teach them everywhere in every church.” This is really critical. These two verses here really define Paul's approach, Paul's understanding of what it is to make disciples. This is really key, and in all of Paul's writings in the New Testament, you'll never see him use the word disciple or disciple making or discipleship. But what he emphasizes over and over again is that the discipler set an example that the disciple can follow. That's his whole approach to making disciples. And sometimes he would even do that in evangelism, appeal to people to become like him. You might remember in the book of Acts, you read about Paul being arrested in Jerusalem, and then he gets sent out to Caesarea. And there he stands before a couple of Roman governors, first Felix, and Felix never really did anything, and then he passed them off to the next guy, Festus, and Festus didn't know what to do with them. And finally, King Herod Agrippa is rolling into town. And so, Festus said, well, I'll have Paul talk to him, and we'll see what we come up with. And so, Paul gets his opportunity to speak before King Agrippa, and he is evangelizing him, essentially, if you read it there in Acts 26, and he makes an appeal in verse 27 he says, “’King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know that you believe.’ And Agrippa said to him, ‘In a short time, would you persuade me to be a Christian?’” And I love Paul's answer. He says, “Whether short or long, I would to God that not only you, but also all who hear me this day might become such as I am. I am a Christian. I am here today telling you about the Lord Jesus Christ and salvation in him.” My desire is that all of you would become just like me. That was his appeal. And his constant appeal to other Christians was that they follow his example. We see that here in our text, he says, “Be imitators of me.”
And I just want to trace this through with you so you can see how critical this idea is, how important example is in doing ministry. In fact, if you wanted to summarize what spiritual leadership is in one word, “Example” would be a good word to use. In chapter 11, verse 1, he says, “Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.” I'm following Christ. I want you to follow him just like I am. In Philippians chapter 3, we see him emphasizing the importance of following his example. Again. Philippians 3:17, he says, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.” Follow the examples. Chapter 4, verse 9, he makes a great statement of Philippians. He says, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you again.” He's calling them to follow what they have seen in him. In 1 Thessalonians 1:6, he says this to the believers there in Thessalonica, chapter 1, verse six6, “You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaea.” So, see, there's the whole process. They became examples of Paul who brought the Gospel to them. They became examples, imitators of him, and now they're providing an example for other people. That is the heartbeat of discipleship that it gets passed on from one to the next, and then to another. And that's what is happening. He's commending them for that. Chapter 2, verse 14, again, he says “They became imitators of the Church of God in Jesus Christ, that are in Judea.” He's commending them. Look with me at 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9, because here he says he really doubles down and stresses the importance of being an example. He says, “For you yourselves know,” 2 Thessalonians 3:7, “how you ought to imitate us.” Ought to imitate us. The word “ought” speaks of an obligation. You must imitate us. “You yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you.” And he's addressing a problem of kind of some laziness among some of the believers there. He says, “We weren't idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor, we worked night and day that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right.” It's not that he doesn't have any right to be paid by them for the ministry that he's doing for them, he says, but we didn't do that because we wanted to give you in ourselves an example to imitate.
So, Paul went out of his way, did things he didn't have to do in order to provide an example for the believers to follow. That's what it is to be a disciple maker, and this is what he urged other leaders to do. He said to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example, in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Timothy, you want to have an impact. It's not a matter how old you are. It's a matter of what kind of example are you setting. Said the same thing to Titus in Titus chapter 2 and verse 7, he said, “Show yourself in all respects to be a model, a model of good works, and in your teaching, show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may have what may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” Hey, Tim, hey, Titus, you want to have a faithful, effective, fruitful ministry that leaves nowhere for the enemies even to go. They’ve got nothing to pick on. Provide a model for everybody to follow. That is so important. That is the essence of making disciples, providing an example that others can follow. And this wasn't just like Paul's thing, because the writer to the Hebrews in Hebrews 13:7 says, “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God.” Consider the outcome of the way of their life and imitate their faith. That's the call, the constant call. And in 1 Peter 5:3, Peter says to the to the elders there, that they are to provide an example. They are to be examples to the flock there. In verse three, “Be an example.” So, the application for parents here is our parents need to live a life worth following and provide a model for your children to follow. And so, you could ask yourself, I mean, can you honestly say to your children, imitate me? And that's an important thing to consider, because you are setting an example. It's just a matter what kind it is. If we're going to make disciples, we’ve got to show them the way. And going back to what Paul said there in 1 Corinthians 4, this is a very interesting statement. He says, “I'm going to send you Timothy. He's a beloved and faithful child. He's following my example, and he's there to remind you of my ways in Christ as I teach them everywhere.”
In every church, Paul taught them his ways. He calls them my ways. “In Christ as I teach everywhere, everywhere, it's normal for children to imitate their parents.” Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at your child and said, where did they get that from? And then you go, oh, yeah, I know. But I think that what you're seeing here is that in Paul, his disciples learned and saw Christianity in everyday life. And I think this is what Jesus was saying in the Great Commission in Matthew 28:20 when he said, “Teach them to observe all that I've commanded you.” So, it involves teaching them and showing them and in the Hebrew way of thinking… And by the way, the Hebrew writers who wrote the Bible, Hebrew way of thinking, you don't know anything if you can't do it. As opposed to America, where people think they know everything, even though they can't do anything. And so, Timothy can come and remind them, because Timothy has been following Paul's example. He's a faithful child of the Apostle Paul. In 2 Timothy 3:10, he says, “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness.” Timothy is following the example, faithfully following the example. He can go and show it to the people there in Corinth. And Paul says that his ways are the same everywhere; he's doing the same thing in every church. He could call believers to bring their lives into conformity with the Christianity that he was presenting to them, if both his words and his life.
And that's what discipleship is, it's investing your life in somebody else. in Luke 6:40 Jesus said, “A disciple, when he's fully trained, will be like his teacher.” He doesn't see, he'll know what his teacher knows. Now he'll be like his teacher. That's the idea, and I just was fascinated by this statement here. It says, remind you of my ways in Christ, and I think that that makes some interesting connections throughout the Scripture. And so I just want to take you for a minute to the book of Proverbs and trace out this idea of following the ways, the ways that are taught to you, and for parents, I always say the best book on parenting is the book of Proverbs, because it's written like from a father to a son, and it covers everything you'd want to cover with your children. But this, let's just trace this through Proverbs chapter 3, and you'll see this popping up everywhere. I'm just going to give you a handful of examples of this idea of my ways, follow my ways. And we'll start in Proverbs 3:5-6, very familiar verses. It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding in all your” what? “In all your ways, acknowledge him and he'll make straight your paths.” There are your ways, the way you're going. Which way are you going? In chapter 4, verse 26 he says, “Ponder the path of your feet.” Then all your ways will be sure, all your ways, your way of life, the way you're going. In Proverbs chapter 8, we have wisdom talking. And wisdom in the Bible comes from a word that means to have a skill. And when it's used in this kind of a context, wisdom for living, it's talking about skillful living. Wisdom is learning to live life skillfully. It's learning to live life the way God designed for it to be lived when he created everything in his wisdom. And here's what wisdom says in Proverbs 8:32. It says, “And now, O sons, listen to me. Blessed are those who keep my ways.” Who keep my ways. There's a way to go. Chapter 11, verse 20 helps us to see a contrast that, if we had time, we could trace through all the contrasts that are shown here. Here in verse 20, it talks about the crooked heart, those of a crooked heart. And so, there is the contrast between the crooked way, the evil way, the wicked way, and the ways of life. And here in chapter 11, verse 20, it says, “Those of crooked heart are an abomination to the Lord, but those of blameless ways are his delight.” So, there are different ways. Which way are you going? And just one more example. And this is in chapter 23, Proverbs 23, and this is the father speaking to the son. And what I want you to hear as I read this to you is the passion of the father for his son, the desire that he has for him and what he wants to communicate to his son. Listen to what he says here, verse 22 down through verse 26 he says, “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old by truth, and do not sell it by wisdom, instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice. He who fathers A wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad. Let her who bore you rejoice. My son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways.” That's a dad who's wanting to disciple his son. Give me your heart, follow my ways.
We need more parents with that kind of passion. We need more parents who can say, follow my ways. I'm showing you the way. And this idea of “The Way” you can read in the book of Acts, you'll see it pop up a half a dozen times. This was an early way that they referenced, or they spoke of the Christians. They are followers of “The Way.” Followers of the way. Foresee it in Acts 9:2, where this man named Saul, Saul of Tarsus, who's been persecuting Christians in Jerusalem, and now he's got permission to go persecute them in Damascus, and he's going there to persecute all the followers of The Way, the way. And of course, that's a reference to Jesus and his statement that “I am the way.” I am the way. Follow me. Parents, you need to be an example of what it truly means to follow Christ and show your children the way. Show them the way children get a great close up look of their parents. So, what are they seeing in their parents? What are they seeing when they watch you at home? Are they seeing a lot of anger? Are they seeing you compromise on things you say you believe? Are they seeing you have kind of a lukewarm commitment to Jesus Christ? Are they seeing hypocrisy, or are they seeing somebody who's zealous for the Lord, someone who loves them, someone who's gentle and patient towards them, someone who wants nothing more than for them to know and follow Jesus Christ. Parents, the simple truth is you can't pass on what you don't possess. Your children provide excellent feedback on what you do and don't possess. You should pay attention to the feedback you're getting. I think the hardest place to disciple is at home, because you can't put on your discipleship suit. So here I am ready to disciple. You can't put on your fellowship group face, or your going to church smile at home. It's all hanging out. They see you when you're grubby. They see you when you're grumpy. They see you when you're tired. They see you when you’re sick, what they need to see is the genuineness of your faith in the everyday stuff of life.
Some of the best counsel I received was when I was a young dad, and from an older dad that I respected, and he was a businessman. I was a banker at that time, so we had a lot in common. And he said how on his way home from work, especially if it'd been a long, hard day, he would often just pull over, just pull the car over, and just pray and prepare himself to go home so he doesn't walk in the door all wound up from what happened at work that day, and he's yelling at the kids, complaining, how come this house is always so messy? Where's dinner? What's going on around here? But yet, you know, he walks in there to serve his family as a faithful husband and father. He doesn't walk in like, hey, the king has arrived. The one who makes your lives possible is here. Bow down and pay homage. No, that's not that. That sounds good, but that ain't right. You’ve got to go home to serve.
And this is why in 1 Timothy 3, when it talks about the qualifications for elders and deacons. It says they have to manage their children well, and that word “well” could be translated “beautifully.” The idea there is that the way they parent their children is observable and appreciated. So parents, you could ask yourself, is anybody desiring to parent like you do, because they see what you're doing and it looks so beautiful. A spiritual parent shows the way; he shows the way to his children.
And one last essential, going back to our text there in 1 Corinthians 4, the last essential is to “Discipline.” To discipline. Look at verses 18 through 21, which says, “Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you, but I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I'll find out not the talk of these arrogant people, but their power for the kingdom of God does not consist in talk, but in power.” Now we're going to take time to unpack that one, but that would be a good one to think about. What is that saying right there? It's not what you say, it's how you live. Verse 21, “What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod or with love and a spirit of gentleness?” We need to be committed to discipline, because sometimes our children, or sometimes the people we're discipling, they blow right through our warnings and they outright rebel. In fact, they even dare you to do something about it. And the Corinthians are right on the brink of that here, as you can see, as Paul describes it, love discipline. Love discipline. An undisciplined child belongs to a parent who's too selfish to love them. You Yes. And so, Paul, I love his statement there in verse 21. He says, “What do you wish?” How do you guys want me to come? The choice is yours. The choice is yours. And I think that's a good way to present it to your children, you know, you get into the middle of these, they're complaining about this. They're complaining about that. They don't want to do this. They're rebelling about that. And you finally get to the point where I would say to them, hey, all you have to do is just do what I tell you. Do what I tell you. Everybody will be happy. I'll be happy. Your mom will be happy. You'll be happy. The dog will be happy. Everybody will be happy. Just do what you're told to do. But if you don't want to do that, if you want to disobey, we're here all day, and we will deal with it. If that's the way you want to spend your day, let's go for it. But if you want to be happy, just do what you're supposed to do. So, there's the choice. What do you want? That's what Paul is presenting to them here. And in this case, the rod that he refers to in verse 21 obviously, is a symbol of discipline, but it's an actual instrument of discipline for parents. That's the way the Bible presents it. The rod is to be used to teach children that there are painful consequences for outright disobedience. There's a lot of times to admonish them, to counsel them, to warn them, but if they step over the line and just flat out disobey. They need to learn that there are consequences. They are and they are painful consequences. In Proverbs, 13:24, it says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but He who loves him is diligent to discipline him,” and the discipline there refers back to the use of the rod at the beginning of the verse. There are other passages in Proverbs we could look at, but one more would be proverbs 22:15, which says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child.” Folly or foolishness is a way of speaking like about a person who just totally disregards God. “The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.” I can do whatever I want to do, and that is bound up that comes at standard equipment in the heart of your child as they come into this world. It's bound up in their heart. But look at what it says. “The rod of discipline drives it far from him.” This is what God has given us. They need to learn that their disobedient action is going to produce painful consequences. You know, I think parents who praise their children for doing good and who discipline them when they disobey, those children, learn the difference between right and wrong, and helps to reinforce that wrong. Thinking wrong behaving in a child or in a disciple needs to be corrected, and you have to be firm and decisive, but you do need to be loving about it, as well.
We're going to read first Kings starting this week, and David had a lot of great things about him, but apparently he wasn't the greatest father, and as he's dying, the sons start jockeying for position. Who's going to take over here when dad dies? And there's one of them, Adonijah, who's going to nominate himself. Well, I'll do it. I'll take over. And it says in 1 Kings 1:5, “Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, “I will be king.” So he got chariots and horses[a] ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him.” And then here's the commentary. How did he get to that kind of way of thinking where he's exalting himself? Well, verse 6 says his father, David, had never, at any time, displeased him, or could be translated, pained him. In other words, Dad never disciplined this kid, and so he developed an exalted view of himself. There have to be painful consequences for sinful behavior, and in the church, we're told about how to discipline one another. If you see your brother in a fault, you need to go to him personally, quietly, lovingly, show him his fault with the desire to win him, win him to Christ. And that's where it begins. You have to love enough to care about their spiritual well-being.
Discipline is absolutely crucial. Without discipline, all of our admonishing and teaching doesn't mean anything, because if people can live any way they want and there are no consequences, then why should they listen to what we're trying to teach them? If you want to be a parent who has an impact for generations to come, then you must disciple your children, and that involves bringing them to Jesus, loving them, admonishing them, being an example for them, and biblically disciplining them. I'm afraid, though, that a lot of parents, they seem to be either uninformed or unconvinced that the Bible is the supreme and sufficient source for raising your children to live godly lives in an ungodly world. And so, because they lack that confidence in God's Word, they turn to other sources and they try what this guru says or that parenting expert says, and at times it almost appears like they're experimenting with their children. So, listen to these words from Charles Spurgeon, a great English preacher of late 1800s he said this, “But let us never be guilty as parents of forgetting the religious training of our children. If we do, we may be guilty of the blood of their souls. You are teaching children, so mind what you teach them. Take care what you are doing. It's a child's soul you're tampering with. It's a child's soul you're preparing for eternity, if it is evil to mislead gray-headed age, it must be far more so to turn aside the feet of the young into the road of error in which they may forever walk.” Those are strong words from Spurgeon. And so that's the warning on the other hand. 3 John 4, the Apostle John says, “I have no greater joy,” no greater joy “than to hear of my children walking in the truth.” No, that's got to be a significant statement, that's got to get your attention when he says, “There's no greater joy than this.” I want to pay attention to that no greater joy than to hear of his children walking in the truth. And I think in that context, he's talking about his spiritual children, his disciples. But how much greater joy would it be if those children were also your physical children? No greater joy. The Lord is promising us great joy if we give ourselves to discipling our children. And so, parents, you have a great opportunity. You have a great opportunity to start something that might never end until Christ returns. Let's pray.
Father, we do thank you that we have clear word from our Savior and our Lord. He has told us what our mission is, and the means of accomplishing that mission have been spelled out for us so clearly in the Scripture where I pray that we would pay attention to what you tell us, and we would give ourselves wholeheartedly to this mission, and particularly, Lord, I pray for the parents here that they would think of raising their children as disciple making. We want to raise these children to know and live for Jesus Christ, and I pray Lord, as a result of the efforts, the faithful efforts of parents, that we would see young people in this church rise up who really know you, who really love you, who want to really live for you, and they will have an incredible impact for you in the days to come, and they will pass on what has been passed on to them, to their children, to the next generation, and we'll see this continue to go and grow and multiply all the way until our Savior returns. So, Lord, I pray for many of us here today that we would get into the mission that Christ has given to the church, and I pray particularly that for parents, as we emphasize that this week. So, Lord, thank you for this time. Thank you that you're such a great Savior, and you care about your church, you care about your children, and that we can trust in you, and that we have all we need in Christ and in Christ alone. We pray this in his name. Amen.