How to Have a Happy Family

By Bobby Blakey on November 2, 2014

Psalm 128


How to Have a Happy Family

By Bobby Blakey on November 2, 2014

Psalm 128

This is a rush transcript.

[00:00:01] If you'll pull out your bulletin there, I want you to look at the cover and enjoy that wonderful work of art. They're on the front. That was drawn by my daughter, Emma, who is five years old in kindergarten. And I think we've got a future Thomas Kinkade on our hands.

[00:00:19] As you can see, the attention to detail in this work is quite exquisite. This the spelling of daddy igas a personal favorite for me. If you haven't noticed that as well. But no, I think as parents, we've all been handed or hopefully you've been handed drawings like this. Here's the original right here, which I would not sell you because it is priceless to me. Right. Your daughter comes running into your room and she's drawn this for you here, Daddy. Here's our family. And what's the most important detail that I noticed right away about our family in this picture? Everyone is what in this picture they got their happy faces on. You see that?

[00:00:59] And I love to see that my daughter, when she thinks about our family, she is happy about our family. And as I've interacted with many families, I found that that is not the case. A lot of times when a family thinks about how they're doing or how they feel about each other, they're smiling in the pictures on the walls, but not so much inside the house.

[00:01:24] You know what I'm talking about? Like everybody's color coordinated when we're walking down the sands of the beach for that for that photo with the photographer. Right. And then we're yelling at each other in front of that photo on a regular basis, particularly if you could imagine your family. And this is hopefully something you don't have to think hard to imagine because hopefully it happens regularly.

[00:01:46] But imagine your family sitting down to eat a meal together. Is everybody smiling at that meal? Is everybody happy to be there? Or is there tension at the table?

[00:01:58] He told me to Psalm 128, if you're joining us, this is a special sermon that we're doing. Usually we're going through the book of First Thessalonians. We go through verse by verse. But today, we're going to address the topic of the family. And there's a passage that we want to look at actually in the Old Testament, Psalm 128. And hey, it just grieves my heart as I get to know people and I find out about their families. I find out things like they don't really ever eat meals together or if they do sit down at a table.

[00:02:27] I know families gathering for Thanksgiving. Oh, it's November. I'm already dreading that gathering for Thanksgiving. And somebody telling me the other day, you know, this is going to be good because we're gonna hit the family dinner at this time and we'll be out by this time and then it'll be awesome. And that's sad because when I was growing up in my family and when I saw my great memories of all time or my family at the dinner table quoting movie lines to each other, too, laughing so hard that my stomach literally hurt. All right. And now I have so many great memories of my family that my wife and I weave. God's blessed us with three kids. And we have so many wonderful times of eating at a meal together. And as a dad, what a joy it is for me to sit down at the table and to see my wife and to see our kids and to have us all interacting in a harmonious way. We're a happy family at my house. And people look at me when I say stuff like that, well, I guess that's nice for you or. That's weird. I feel like that's becoming less and less common in America. Anybody else noticing that's happening less and less all around us?

[00:03:32] I mean, one of my favorite memories that I'm sure I will never forget is my family. We should be do we down to Ruby's every once in a while. We like we like that place and we get these Halloween your jack cheese steaks. I don't know if anybody knows what I'm talking about, if anybody wants to say amen to that. But these spicy cheese sticks they got there one day, they took them off the menu and we were like, what just happened? You know? But then they were back. And so that was OK. And they heard our complaint.

[00:04:00] And so we get these cheese sticks. And I'll never forget one time my wife, she takes a bite of one of these cheese sticks and she turns and shows it to the rest of us. And there's she's like, there's no cheese in my cheese. And there was the cheese stick. The inside of it, the fried side was there, but the inside was empty. Which really made you wonder how exactly do they make these things, you know, to me.

[00:04:21] And she said that there's no cheese in my cheese. And the way my kids threw their heads back and laughed in the middle of Ruby's, I will never forget for the next 15 minutes, all we could say was, there's no cheese in my cheese. And it was I mean, we didn't care that everybody in rubies was looking at us because we were a happy family. So it wasn't fake. We weren't putting on a show company wasn't coming over. That's just how it is. And it's the way that God intended. Every man here, you're supposed to have a happy family. That is God's intention. That's the design at least.

[00:05:01] And we see that here in someone 28. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't maybe know about this chapter, but read it with me here. You'll see this isn't just my personal experience. This is the pages of scriptures is what God has to say about you and your family. It says this blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways.

[00:05:20] You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands. You shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Your children will be like all live shoots around your table. Behold. Look at this picture right here. The shell. The man. Be blessed. Who fears the Lord. The Lord. Bless you. From Zion. From His Holy place. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. May you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.

[00:05:59] Now there's some highfalutin spiritual language that's going to maybe that might make you miss the picture here. And there's also some very like agricultural FFA Future Farmers of America kind of language that might make you miss the picture. But the picture is of a man who is sitting down at a table after a hard day's work.

[00:06:17] And the man is blessed. The man is happy. And he's sitting down at this table and there's his wife and there's his kids. And he has this sense of fullness inside of him. We haven't even started to eat yet. And the guy is feeling full. That's the picture here in this small.

[00:06:35] How do we use the word happy? That's what communicates. If I said how to have a blessed family, everybody would be like, oh, you're getting all spiritual, honest.

[00:06:43] But back in the day when people thought happiness came from God, they would use words like blessed for happy. See, when we've taken God out of our life here in America, we use words like happy because we don't think happiness comes from God. But good luck finding it anywhere else. That's the idea. Blessed here just means happy.

[00:07:04] Say satisfied is what it means.

[00:07:07] Don't over spiritualized the word bless and also don't under over spiritualized here. This idea of the fear of the Lord. Maybe you notice that's a mean theme here in this chapter. You can see it there in verse one. Happy or blessed is everyone who fears the Lord. You know, none of the happiness gurus are saying. And you want to be happy. Fear God that that. That's what the Bible saying here today. It says that, again, just in case you missed it. Verse forced for all of you. Make flies out there. Hello. Behold. Look at the picture. The shell. The man. Be blessed. Who fears the Lord. This is a principle. This is a promise. Fear the Lord and blessing is coming to you. That's the idea. And I'm afraid that might throw you. That's one thing we're going to have to talk about today. What does it mean to fear the Lord is not it's not as weird as it sounds. The other thing that might throw you is how we start to refer to everybody here as a plant in the family. Right. All you horticulturalists will love this.

[00:08:03] But all of us city slickers will be like, why is he calling his wife a fruitful vine? You know, and all live shoots. Interesting choice. Right.

[00:08:12] I mean, that's because we're living in an agricultural society here. This is this is the Old Testament. You want dinner, you better grow it or you better kill it. That's where dinner is coming from. We're not going to sprouts. You know what I'm saying? A little bit of a different world that they were living in back then. See? And so, man, you got fruitful vine. You got produce at you that you're that's actually producing something at your house. You've got something to eat. Well, praise the Lord for that. And all of shoots, man, that's such a rich picture because all of shoots, they would grow up on the roots of a big tree, but yet they were kind of like their own independent plant. Really just a deep analogy for poor children. And so, yeah, if you're a farmer, then you're going to compare your wife to a fruitful vine and you're going to compare your kids to all live shoots. You're going to. Those are blessed things. Those are happy things to you. If you're out there working all day to grow stuff out in the field and then you get to come down and you sit around and you look look at what it's growing. Right here around my table is a family. God is good to me. That's what the is thinking here. So don't let this Old Testament language confuse you. This is a song about a guy who's having dinner time with his family and he's already full before anybody takes a bite.

[00:09:23] This is a blessed man.

[00:09:25] Now, I know we are over this kind of picture here of the family. Then I'm going to talk about from the scripture here today in America, we would call this the traditional family, say, like some Norman Rockwell painting from a bygone era. This has been replaced with the Modern Family. Right. Let's just go compare. If you wanted to, you could do a great social study. Let's compare Leave It to Beaver. For those of you who get that cultural reference right. Classical show about the family. And let's compare that with what's going on in this show, Modern Family, that's winning all the awards right now.

[00:10:00] And you can see right there a brief synopsis of the last few decades of America, this idea that dad is going to sit down at the end of the day where mom made the food and all the kids are going to come and eat it respectfully together. Well, that's a picture we're mocking in America now.

[00:10:17] We have way, better ways to do family here in America. That's what everybody thinks. I hope you haven't bought into that lie. I hope that in your heart of hearts, man, if you could be a part of a group like this sitting down where everybody loves each other and is happy together. That's what I want. Anybody else here want a family like this? I hope you haven't believed the lies that that were being told by the world. I mean, there are forces in our culture trying to destroy this family idea. And I think Satan's doing a pretty good job in the minds of America. I mean, divorce is destroying the family in America. Who here? Who? Who here. Your life has been personally impacted by divorce. Can we just see a show of hands here today who are divorce survivors? Get your hand up so we can see how many people here have personally been impacted by divorce. Thank you. I mean, no fault divorce. I mean, this whole idea. I mean, you can get a divorce so much easier now in America than you ever could at any time in the history of our nation. You know what's destroying our families? Abortion is destroying our families.

[00:11:23] Your new couple, you're excited about having a baby. Wow. God has blessed you. Your wife is pregnant. You go in. Yeah. Some of these measurements don't line up. Next thing you know, you're in a you're in a room and they're talking to you about, you know, maybe we need to consider termination. That's where our medical society goes like that one wrong measurement. And we're talking termination of a life that God has given.

[00:11:45] That's our view of the family in America. I'll tell you what is more important than having a family having sex that's more important to America. We believe in a sexual freedom right now, more than we believe in religious freedom in this country.

[00:12:00] You should be able to do whatever you want with your body, with anybody that you want to do something with. And if anybody tells you that you can't do that with your body, then Europe.

[00:12:09] That person is a big man. That person is a hater. This is America. This is the country that you and I live in, say.

[00:12:19] Anybody can do anything they want. No, actually, the best way to do it. The Bible says, is to abstain from anything sexual outside of marriage that God designed one man and one woman to be together for one lifetime. And that's the best way to do it. That's what God said. That's what I believe not. I could go on and on and on about the problems that are attacking the family in America. If you guys could just nod your head that you're with me at this point. I think the whole culture has given us the introduction for this sermon. OK, so what is the family supposed to be like? What would God say to our families? Well, let's let's break it down into three different groups of people, which should cover every single individual here. Let's talk about dads. Let's talk about moms. And let's talk about kids here. All right. And we're going to start with dads, because you'll notice when it talks about the family, it talks about it in the Bible. And I know this is traditional and old fashioned. And I'm sorry to any person that I might offend that that's a feminist here today. Right. But it's usually referred to in the masculine sense. Have you noticed that about the Bible? It's usually referred to like the dad is the leader of the family. And he's the guy who really sets the tone for everybody else. That's clearly the impression you would get right here. It's I mean, it's written like it's to the man. And it when it's talking to you, it's talking to dad and it says you shall eat the fruit of your labor. You need to be a hard worker, dad, and your wife and your children, because the family revolves around dad. He's the one who's supposed to be wearing the pants in the family. That's how it's supposed to work.

[00:14:00] Is that just sounds shocking to hear somebody say that in America, Ana? Oh, outrage. He's going to get some hate mail about this for sure. Is he wearing a bulletproof vest? What's going on? Can we still say that dad's supposed to be the leader of the House? Can we say that? Say the. So that's the idea here.

[00:14:21] That sets the tone.

[00:14:23] That's how it works and that dad should set the tone for the Lord. Let's let's write that down. Dad sets the tone for the Lord, Dad. Here's what you do. You set the tone for the Lord.

[00:14:34] You're the leader. You call the shots. Everything else flows from you. Dad, you have been empowered. If you are a man here today, lead your family. And here's the kind of man you're supposed to be. Let's deal spiritualized this word. Word here. You're supposed to be a man who fears the Lord. Now, they used to refer to Christians in America as God fearing men and women. Now, the Christians don't want to even be called God Führer's, because that sounds too intense for most of the Christians we got around America these days. Why would why would we be afraid of God? Here's why we should all be afraid of God, because he's the judge who has authority over your life. That's why we should all fear God.

[00:15:16] Fear God is one of the biggest commands in the Bible. We could we could go from Old through the New Testament and we could see that the fear of the Lord is not only commanded, it is spoken of as like the secret, the key that unlocks all the doors, like the source of blessing and happiness is in fearing God. That's what the Bible says to me to Ecclesiastes, Chapter 12. Let's just what we're here in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament. Just a few pages over to the right, you'll find Ecclesiastes is written by the wisest man who ever lived. Solomon asked God for wisdom. God gave it to him, and he wrote about his discovery of life. You know, Solomon, he really used his wisdom to try to sin. And he and he wandered away from God's design for the family had many wives. He tried all kinds of things in his life. And at the end of his life, Solomon wrote a book, Ecclesiastes. He says, Here's how you should live life. I've tried everything.

[00:16:12] I'm the king. I have all the money you could ever want. I have all the power you could ever have. I have all the wisdom. God gave me wisdom and I've misused it to try everything there is to try. Under the sun, there's nothing new under heaven. I've tried it all. And let me tell you, I live in for the world.

[00:16:28] Is vanity, he says. And then he says this. Here's how you should live. At the end of the book, Ecclesiastes is chapter 12, verse 13. Here's the conclusion from the wisest guy who tried everything he learned from experience. So you can learn from wisdom. The end of the matter. All has been heard. Here's what you do. Fear God and keep his commandments for. This is the whole duty of man. Now, why would I fear God? Why would I be afraid of him? I thought he was loving. I thought he was kind. Well, he is. But here's why. Verse 14 for God will bring every deed into judgment with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

[00:17:07] Here's why I fear God as God is going to judge me. God is gonna judge me for everything I've ever done.

[00:17:16] And there should become a point in your life when you realize that you deserve to be judged, that you've done a few things that you know you shouldn't have done, that you thought a few things. You know, you should've thought. You said a few things maybe to members of your own family that, you know, you shouldn't have said. And here it's saying, someday God's gonna hold you accountable for that. And the day that you realize I've messed up and I'm going to get busted for it someday. There should be fear there. A fear of the Lord. The Bible calls it. And it says that this fear of the Lord is the beginning of what? What does it say? Wisdom. Because it's when you fear God and you see that judgment is coming that you realize I need to do something about this situation that I'm in. And you start to look at things like the love of God and giving his son to die on the cross for your sins. And once you fear God and you know, he's going to judge you all of a sudden, Jesus dying on the cross for your sins looks pretty awesome to the person who doesn't who fears God.

[00:18:16] Let me man, I have said we should fear God, and here's the reason I say we should fear God, because that's what the Bible says. Pretty straightforward English. It's even more straightforward if you get into the Hebrew or the Greek. But all of a sudden, Christian people, when they read the fear of God, they say, well, that's not really a fear. It's like a reverence or an R for God. Who's ever heard somebody say that before? Anybody. OK. We're talking to some church people here this morning. Right.

[00:18:40] You go to church and you read Fear. God. Wow. That sounds intense. Well, he's going to judge me. Sounds like I should take God very seriously. Here's ways we could say it in our modern vernacular. I need to take this guy very seriously. He needs to have my full attention. I need to direct my thoughts to him on a regular basis. That would all be great ways to say. But they kind of start watering it down, say, well, when it says fear, it doesn't mean you really fear.

[00:19:02] You're not afraid. Your knees are knocking. You're not trembling. You're just kind of in awe of him. You just kind of have reverence for him. Now, I know the difference between the word fear and the word reverence. You guys all know different. And if I wanted to say reverence, guess what word? I would probably use the word for reverence, which the Bible does say I'm not knocking being reverent of God or in all of God. I think we could use some more of that. I'm I'm all for it. But there's different words that mean Reverend or are in the Bible, like in the Greek when we're commanded in the New Testament to fear. God, it says Phobos is the Greek word. OK, now let me just play that out. We refer to it as a phobia. Who here has arachnophobia? Does anybody here have arachnophobia? Does anyone? We're not being honest here at church. Who here has arachnophobia? OK, well, we put some tarantulas under your seat. No, I mean. When my family sees a spider, a big one with a black one with a red spot on its back, right. We're not like children gather around and be in awe of this marvelous creature. If this creature bit you right now, we would be rushing you to the hospital so fast. Emma, does that make you feel reverence right now? That's ridiculous. You want to know what happens at my house when we see a spider because we suffer from arachnophobia, we freak out is what happens at my house. We scream. Kids call for me. And then I look at my wife and I'm like, are you going to get this one? That's what happens at my house when we see a spider. We're not like, let's get out the magnifying glass and appreciate the hairs on its legs.

[00:20:46] Children. There's no reverence. There's no. Ah. It's like Spider moved in. We're moving out. Pack your bags. Kids. It's fear. See? Same exact word. Same exact word phobia. It is saying that everybody here should be a feel phobe. You should have Theo phobia. You should be afraid of God as if God was here and you were next to him. You'd be like, he's holy. I'm a sinner. I don't belong in his company. That's what it's talking about. Let's talk about you get who he is and you're not him and you're afraid of him.

[00:21:28] It's such a healthy thing. It's such a great thing. Before we moved here to Huntington Beach, we were getting a real problem in our backyard with black widow spiders. I'm not making this up like the real the real ones that'll put you in the E.R.. And it was like, oh, we're having people over. Oh, that means we gotta go clean the backyard. Oh, that means we got to go fight the black widows. That's what it felt like. And it was like, all right. How can I pray for you, dear? You know, I mean, that's what it was like. Go get on. Well, we're gonna go kill spiders all day. So then I come to my new house here in Huntington Beach, get a knock on the door. It's a salesman. I don't really like salesmen on the door. He's like, hey, how would you like us to kill all of the bugs around your house? Here's how much it'll cost the guys in a white jumpsuit. He looks ready to spray chemicals. I'm thinking the Lord has sent an angel to my front door. No more black widow spider fighting. See, what fear does is it creates boundaries. See arachnophobia. I would encourage you to be in Iraq, Nouveaux. Stop touching that tarantula. What are you doing? You shouldn't be getting that friendly with spiders. I think it's great to be afraid of sharks. I think it's great to be afraid of of high speed traffic collisions. I think my fear of these things is why I'm standing in front of you here today. See, because fear keeps me from going to places I shouldn't go. That's what the fear of the Lord does.

[00:22:51] It keeps you from thinking you can live life however you want, that you can make up and do family however you want. It keeps you as a man on the right track as God's going to hold you accountable for how you live your life. That's the fear of the Lord. And we need more men who will testify. I'm afraid. I am afraid of God. God, the beautiful thing is when you're afraid of God, you don't have to fear anything else. That's a fear of the Lord. We need more men who have considered that at the end of all things, I'm going to be judged and that should change the way I approach God. Now, I need to come to him in humility. I need to come to him and confess my sin. And I need to see Jesus Christ on the cross as the most beautiful, glorious thing ever, because only in Christ C am I going to be saved. That's how I got saved and saved, because I grew up in a house where my dad feared the Lord and he instilled in his children a fear of the Lord. And you did not want to hear at my house when I was growing up. Oh, Mom, say, well, you just wait till your father gets home. You do not want to hear those words.

[00:24:01] Now, I don't think Dad was going to kick me out of the house. I didn't think Dad didn't love me, but I knew there were certain boundaries.

[00:24:09] There were certain places I did not go at our house. And if I went to those places, I was going to talk to dad. And I had a very healthy fear of my father, which kept me from getting into a lot of the trouble that most people are getting into because they don't fear God.

[00:24:27] This is this man. He fears the Lord. This is the man. Every single guy here.

[00:24:32] This is how you should live your life. Go to Deuteronomy, Chapter six. So if you have this understanding is a man who fears the Lord. Here's what you're gonna do now. Deuteronomy Chapter six versus four to nine are one of the most important passages in all of the Bible for for sure, probably perhaps the most significant passage, at least two would have been to the Old Testament Jews, the nation of Israel. It's called the Qamar Deuteronomy, chapter six, starting in verse four. Qamar means to hear. And that's the idea. Israel, listen to this especially you're going to notice it's going to refer to kind of the dads again. It's going to go after them speaking in kind of a masculine way.

[00:25:11] And it's going to say this Deuteronomy, chapter six, verse four, it's going to say Hero Israel, the Lord, our God, the Lord is one.

[00:25:20] And here's the greatest commandment. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might.

[00:25:29] And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children. And she'll talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk, by the way. And when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand. They shall be as Frontalot between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

[00:25:55] So Deuteronomy talks all over the place about the fear of the Lord, and it's looking for this God fearing man. And then it says, the greatest command here is to love God with all your heart, which is where the fear of God always ends up with love for God. Because as you fear him and the judgment that is coming, you turn from your sin. You beg for his forgiveness. He does forgive you. He makes you a new man and you love him for it. The fear of the Lord will always turn into the love of the Lord.

[00:26:21] And you love him with all of your heart.

[00:26:24] And you do you take these commands. That's what Deuteronomy is. Deuteronomy is the second telling of the law. That's what it is. Here's Moses repeating the law that God already gave in Exodus Exodus 20, the Ten Commandments, Moses, the two tablets of stone that hopefully you're familiar with with that. And here now, Moses, who's repeating the law. And he's saying, hey, this law that you're supposed to know men, it should be on your hearts. And here's what dads are supposed to do. Here's what men do in God's definition of men. Men teach the Bible. That's what men do. That's what he says right here. Deuteronomy. Chapter six. You're going to have God's commands on your heart because you fear him, because you love him. And verse seven says you shall teach these commands of God diligently to your children.

[00:27:11] And here's how you're gonna do it. You're gonna talk of them when you're sitting in your house, when you're out, going outside, driving around, walking by the way, when you lie down at nighttime. When you rise up in the morning time. Dad. School is always in session. Sunday school happens seven days a week at your house. If you're a father, you have God's word. You're in it. You're a man of God. You fear God and out of you constantly. There is just coming this teaching.

[00:27:38] From the Bible to your family, like an uninterrupted stream of thought as you think about God and just tell your family about what you're learning about the Lord.

[00:27:50] You realize how hard it is to find a man who actually does this in America these days. I mean, I had the privilege before coming here and starting this adventure with you guys. I was a high school pastor for 12 years. Hundreds, if not thousands of high schoolers I get to hang out with.

[00:28:11] It was amazing to me how illiterate they were about the Bible, particularly the ones I'm talking about that grew up in Christian families.

[00:28:21] You start talking about the Old Testament. They act like they've never been there. And I'm thinking, where was dad? Where was Bible time? I mean, these are church kids.

[00:28:32] I mean, I feel like almost saying after 12 years, like the dads who I could say that to Deuteronomy six for dad, I feel like if I got my hands together and my toes together, I could probably name all of the dads that I've seen really do what we were just commanded to do right there, men.

[00:28:52] Like you all the time.

[00:28:54] Maybe, maybe you have a set time with the whole family gathers around, we open the Bible and we read it together and we pray maybe we do family devotions or family worship. But really what it's talking about here is you can't shut dad up about the Bible. That's what it's saying right here. Like, it's not like we stop watching TV and we turn the video games off and we all come inside and we do Bible time. It's more like Dad's just a fountain of scriptural truth and you really can't turn him off.

[00:29:21] Like in the morning you open your eyes and there's dad a good morning. Remember all you're talking about last night. Let's pick up right where we left off. Right.

[00:29:30] It's like you're driving. You're driving the kids to school. And we're talking about what's going to happen at school today. What does God think about that? We're sitting down at the dinner table tucking the kids in at the end of the. What did we learn about life today? What did God show us? We're always taking what's happening right now in our family. And we're taking it to a godly perspective. And we're talking about him all of the time.

[00:29:56] We want to know what happened to America. Dad stopped being dead. That's what happened right there, because dad stopped fearing God.

[00:30:08] And here we are where you're thinking, wait a minute, Dad. Like the point of being a dad isn't to coach the soccer team or is it to provide the money? Like the point like the dad's main job description is teach his kids the Bible. You mean Dad's a Bible teacher? So we got people maybe who've gone to church for a long time. And I say that today. And that comes across even as a new thought, even here today at church.

[00:30:33] That dad supposed to be teaching his kids the Bible in some kind of 24/7 way. That's the way it's supposed to be.

[00:30:40] This is standard operating procedure in the scripture, drawing me to a fusions. You think, well, this is just some Old Testament passage of dusting off your man. I see what you're doing. You're one of those fire and brimstone kind of guys. Probably have a sign somewhere that says turn or burn. Well, no, I don't have that sign. But the message is fear, God. And when you fear God, you get into his word and you can't stop talking about it.

[00:31:07] And the message is that's not an Old Testament message. That's the message of the Bible. Look at this here in the New Testament. Here's a way to say it. Father's Ephesians, chapter six, verse four. Here's a direct command to every New Testament Christian fusions. Chapter six. Verse four. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger. I'm just gonna have to say something about that, because what I see is Dad doesn't maybe teach the Bible a lot. But yet Dad has some other rules that he'll get really mad if you don't do what Dad says.

[00:31:39] Like, there's certain ways we do chores at this house. There's certain ways rooms are cleaned at this house. There's certain ways we do homework at this house. And you're not doing your schoolwork. Man, Dad's gonna get upset.

[00:31:49] Now, we're not talking about the Bible that much, but we're getting really big on on these other things in life. And I'm thinking dad should be enforcing homework and chores at home. I'm all for it. But I think dads are exasperating their children to anger by making little things a massive thing sometimes.

[00:32:09] And there's a warning here, dads, make sure you're talking about the things that really matter with your kids. Don't exasperate them. Here's what you should be doing. Effusions Chapter six verse for it says, Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Discipline, kind of this corrective teaching this like, hey, that's not the way you should go. Let me give it your back on the right track instruction. Kind of like this positive teaching. This is hey, here's where you should be going. That's great. I love to see that in your life. Keep doing this kind of thing. Both negative instruction and positive instruction should be coming from dad in the way of the Lord. That's the command for every dad here.

[00:32:52] And God's going to hold you accountable for how you lead your kids as dad. That's what it says. It would be amazing if we could have a church full of people and let's just start with the men right now. What if we had men at this church who actually did what that said right there? Would that make this a unique church in America?

[00:33:17] If we could have a culture where we were all about dad teaching his kids the Bible. And that was what we were holding each other accountable to as men. That's why we started this church, because we want to see God do that right there. So I want to invite every single man to be a part of this journey that we're going to go on together. I've said this is how we're gonna do it. And some of you guys, some of you younger men, you're not fathers yet. Praise the Lord that you could hear this and start praying about it and thinking about it today. But if you open up your bulletin, you're gonna see we're gonna have our first we have our first men's event and our first women's event coming up.

[00:33:52] They're going to be on Saturday mornings. And we're gonna start talking even more specifically to dads, to moms or men and women, even if you're not a dad or a mom. This will apply to you. And so you want to save those dates. So I'm talking to the men right now, but I haven't forgotten the ladies. OK, there's plenty in the scripture about the ladies. And in fact, look at what the husband is supposed to do for his wife. I know what we're focusing on fathers and mothers in our sermon here this morning. But look, just a little bit. We're in officiants, chapter six. Let's just get a little bit back into Chapter five and look at Ephesians chapter five, verse twenty five with me here. Let's talk about what the guys are supposed to be doing with their ladies here of men, with your women.

[00:34:34] Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, that he might set her apart from sin, having cleansed her by the washing of water. And how do we do this? Cleansing with the word the spoken word there so that he might present to the church.

[00:34:53] Here's Christ. He might present the church to himself in splendor. He wants to have this church without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. That means she might be holy and without blemish. So just like Jesus Christ comes down to die on the cross to cleanse his bride, his church, everyone here is saved. He cleansed you from all of your sins. So the husband is supposed to lead his wife into sanctification, setting her apart from sin, setting her towards what is right and he supposed to wash her. It's supposed to be like the husband is bathing his wife. And how does he do it?

[00:35:26] The washing of water with the what's the word husband is supposed to be a Bible teacher, even to his wife. Obviously, it's going to look a little bit different between your wives and your children. But the idea is that husband and wife are having an ongoing spiritual conversation that never ends, praying together, talking about sermons together, talking about the issues of their life and saying, hey, I don't know how we're going to handle this. Let's sit down and look at the Bible about this. Let's go meet with a pastor, a friend from church about this, where the husband says, hey, here at our house here and our marriage. This is how we're going to do it. And he brings up the things of God with his wife. I tell you what, man, if you haven't been doing that and you start to gently and lovingly lead your wife into the truth, you will watch her blossom like a fruitful vine right in front of you. That's the way that God designed the marriage relationship to be. Is that the man is supposed to be that calming, leading strong influence on his wife.

[00:36:31] And all the ladies said, man, preach it.

[00:36:39] Don't stop. We can get to point number two some other day. It's my favorite sermon ever right now.

[00:36:46] All right. OK, well, let's talk to the ladies now about being that fruit full vine. What does that look like? Domina Proverbs, Chapter 31. Maybe you've heard this before.

[00:36:59] Proverbs, Chapter 31. Get over there. We got to keep moving. There's a lot, obviously, we can say about the family, but we want to start talking to the ladies here and actually infusions five where it talks about the family roles. Something you could just jot down real quick is Ephesians chapter five, verse 21, where before it starts talking about husbands, wives and fathers and kids, it says that we should have these relationships out of reverence for Christ. And if you get into the Greek Ephesians chapter five, verse 21, guess what Greek word it says there. That's translated reverence. It says Phobos. See, your God fear should change your marriage and it should change the way that you act towards your kids.

[00:37:47] If you're a man or if you are a woman, because we know that Proverbs 31, we have Solomon's mother describing for him the kind of woman he should be looking for. And that's what's so Proverbs 31 is starting in verse 10. An excellent wife who can find this has written to a young man looking for that excellent wife. How are you going to find her? Well, good luck. It's tough to find this kind of woman. But the climax is in Proverbs 31, verse 30. And maybe you've heard this verse before. If you've ever been to a women's event, maybe you've heard it.

[00:38:20] Charm is deceitful. And beauty is vain. But a woman who. What does it say? They're my friends. Fears the Lord is to be. What are we noticing? A theme here. All this fearing of the Lord.

[00:38:33] It's not just for the dead. It's not just for the man. OK. Here's what we're really looking for in a woman. If a man was looking for a wife. Here's what God is looking for as he looks into the heart of a woman, what does he want to see? He wants to see that fear phobia is what he wants to see. He wants to see a woman who has realized that her life is going to be taken into account by one who has authority over her. And that changes the way that she live. That provides boundaries for how she lives her life. So many women are they're very charming and they spend a lot of time focusing on their external appearance. It's amazing how much women, especially young women, can get caught up into their body image and thinking through charm and beauty. They are big business.

[00:39:24] But see a woman who fears the Lord. That's what it's all about.

[00:39:29] So I know you were saying a men when we were telling your husband to fear the Lord and finally start doing those Bible studies at home and finally start praying with me. I heard your I heard you're a man there, some of you ladies.

[00:39:40] How are you doing? Fearing the Lord. I talk to I talk to women in marriage counseling, and I find that the most of marriages who have roadblocks, there's really problems coming from both sides of the street. But what is the what is a woman like to say to me?

[00:39:57] Well, if he would just start doing this, then everything would be fine in our family. Because after all, he is the leader. I heard the first part of your sermon. He's the one who sets the tone. That was the point for him. I wrote it really big because he's sitting next to me. So I heard that part and I'm with you. And if he just started to do what he's supposed to do. Oh, I would be the Proverbs 31 woman. If he was a song 128 man. Oh, yeah. That would be a match made in heaven. But we're failed. It's terrible. Master Bobby, you have no idea. No, actually, I have a pretty good idea of that, that conversation quite a few times. And the encouraging news that I have from the Lord for every woman here is, listen, you are bound to your husband, but you are not bound by your husband. OK? You are in it with this guy to win it. If you have said I do. If you have walked in, I'll he's yours. OK, but he doesn't get to determine your attitude. He doesn't get to determine your heart.

[00:41:03] You have direct access to God. And he doesn't get to ruin that. That's what the scripture says. It says that a wife is such a powerful thing that even without a word.

[00:41:18] Yeah, the husband he's supposed to be teaching, he's supposed to be talking to his wife. He's supposed to be talking to his kids and and mom, she's going to have to help him. If those kids are going to learn the Bible, mom's going to have to be right there with that ego echoing everything he says, maybe even added on a few things that dad forgot. If it's really going to work.

[00:41:34] But it says that the wife man, what she does is she is if she's respectful, if she's pure in her conduct, if she's a God fearing woman, she is has such a powerful role in the family that she can win the husband over. It says without the word.

[00:41:50] She doesn't even need to tell him what's up. She doesn't need to go off and yell at him. No, she can just by the way that she conducts herself. God can use that kind of woman to win her husband's heart over. What a powerful promise.

[00:42:07] That's it first, Peter, Chapter three, that's New Testament kind of language, turn there with me, every single wife you're going to need first, Peter three effusions tells us how the relationships are supposed to work. Visions, Chapter five and six. First, Peter tells us how they're supposed to work, when they're broken, when they're not working. How do you keep going on when you got a lame husband?

[00:42:28] See, we got a lot of lame husbands.

[00:42:33] We might even have some here. In fact, as a husband speaking for myself, I can vouch for the fact that I have a high degree of lameness which could show up at any given moment. Can any other husband willing to acknowledge that here today? Right. And first, Peter, Chapter three is speaking to the wife whose husband is caught in a moment of lameness. It says, Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands. That's what Ephesians five says. Brings up a word that in the Bible is a good word in our culture is a bad word submission that the woman would willingly place herself under the leadership of the man. That's what the Bible says, says it's a beautiful thing. And then it says this.

[00:43:17] Well, if it's not really working too well, even if some of these men do not obey the word. Maybe they're not even saved. Or maybe right now, you know, they're not doing what God told them to do or not fearing God. They're not leading you. They're not teaching your kids. Well, here's what God says to you. Even if some do not obey the word.

[00:43:37] They may be one without a word.

[00:43:39] By the conduct of their wives, when they see you're respectful and pure conduct, don't let your adorning the external. Is this starting to sound like Proverbs 31?

[00:43:50] Don't just be about charm and beauty, the brading of hair and putting on a gold jewelry or the clothing you wear now that you're adorning, be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight, which you have direct access to as his daughter. It is so precious when God is looking down from heaven and he sees a wife who is still respecting her man when her man is not respectable. God is pleased with that. You are not bound. He does not determine your relationship with God. If you are a woman, that's good news, ladies. That's good news. I know it's hard and I know it's tough. And trust me, you need somebody to talk to your lame husband. Call my number. I'll be happy to do it. But when he is not doing what he should be doing. You got to keep doing what you're doing.

[00:44:47] It's not an excuse.

[00:44:49] And let me just tell you, when you start going off on your husband and you start preaching to him this sermon, OK? He knows as a pastor I'm called to preach. Your husband is going to question your call to preach, ladies, because he has heard this verse right here and he's thinking without a word. And now you're telling him what's up? You might be nailing it. You could have a great outline. You got three strong points. You got scripture. There's passion. There's illustrations. All he's thinking is I don't think it's your job to tell me what to do.

[00:45:27] Now, you don't go off. You don't get angry. You start doing things that you can do.

[00:45:35] You come and you make him that sandwich that you know that he loves. I mean, let's just go right to the heart of all cliches that America hates. Right. Let's just go right there. Do you realize how many times my soul has been slayed by a sandwich at my house? Do you realize how many times I have been convicted before the Lord and exposed as the most heinous of men as my wife has lovingly brought me while I'm sittin in a lazy boy recliner chair while the house is a mess?

[00:46:06] The kids are doing this. And here I am sitting down and she comes and she gives me a sandwich without me asking for it.

[00:46:15] I am guilty. I want to go and I want to take communion at that moment and confess my sins. OK. Because that is beautiful in the sight of God. When a wife can keep on loving her man, even if he is not being the man that he supposed to be. Ladies, let me just tell you, that's effective. That's how you are going to bust him up in his heart. He will be broken. I've heard so many great stories of wives with unsaved husbands and it doesn't always work out like this. But I can tell you stories of wives who won their husbands over without a word. And that man, he got turned around by the Lord. And you know what he would testify to? Year after year, month after month, week after week, she was doing it. And I was.

[00:47:10] And trust me, ladies, the men feel that every time. This is what God says. It says that you will be precious in his sight. So for moms, let's get your point down here. You can show your support by trusting the Lord. That's for moms.

[00:47:29] You you should dads. You're setting the tone for the Lord in the family. Moms show your support by trusting the Lord. And that's the point I'm trying to make to all the ladies that are here today is don't think that that you don't have direct access to God and that God is the one who's really over your family. God is the one who's really in control of your children, God's and the one who is really in control of your marriage. And your husband is just the middleman. Ladies. And you can go straight to the boss. You can go straight up the corporate ladder. And you can talk to who's in charge about your family any anytime.

[00:48:06] And if you keep reading first, Peter, Chapter three, it gives great words of encouragement here. It said that this is very precious in God's side if you have that gentle and quiet spirit. Verse five four.

[00:48:16] This is how the holy women who hoped in God, who trusted the Lord used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, even calling him Lord. And you are her children.

[00:48:30] If you do good. And here's a key. Ladies do not fear anything that is frightening. I fear what's going to happen to your children. Do not fear what's going to happen to your marriage. Take those cares and cast them to the Lord in prayer. You can trust in him. You have direct access to him. He's the one in charge of your family. Now we've got the husband, we've got the fruitful vine of the wife, and then we've got these little all of chute's who here is a kid? Anybody here? A kid who hears a child. Anybody got a mother or father? Anybody? Are we. Are you still with me? You guys still with me? All right. Yeah. I know that our has really messed us up because you're super hungry right now. I understand. I understand. Both children. Everybody here. Had a father and a mother, and if they're still living. Praise the Lord for that. And everybody here has the command to honor your father and your mother told me to Psalm 34. Look at this. Look at this command here for children. Maybe you haven't put this together before. Once again, to the Old Testament, Psalm 34. Turn there with me, please. And some of you guys, you are dependent. Dependent means you don't pay for your own house, your own car. You need money from mom and dad if you still need money from mom and dad. Here's the word from the Lord for you today.

[00:49:55] They own you. All right. They get to tell you what time to come home. They get to tell you what time you get to wake up in the morning. They get to run your life. And that's why I would encourage you to stay in school, get a good job and get out of there. That's what I would say to you in the right time, of course. But look what it says to children here.

[00:50:18] Psalm 34, look at verse eleven.

[00:50:21] Come. Oh, children, listen to me and I will teach you. What are we supposed to teach to kids? The court says, come on, children. Yeah. There you go. Come on, children. Listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Now, before you start thinking again, all the fear, the Lord, that sounds dark. What are we gonna do? Free kids out. Look what it says. What man is there who desires life? Love's many days that you may see. Good. Anybody want to live a good, long life? Well, here's how you do it. Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking to seat. Turn away from evil and do good. Stop doing bad stuff. Start doing good stuff. Seek peace and pursue it. And the eyes of the Lord. He'll be toward the righteous, his ears toward their cry. Now the face, Lord. He's against those who do evil to cut off the memory of them from the Earth. When the righteous cry for help. Oh, the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles. He's near to the brokenhearted. And he saves those who are crushed in spirit. Hey, we've got to teach you the fear of the Lord. Here's what it looks like as we talk through the fear of the Lord. Hey, this would be a bad thing. This would be something God would judge you for. This would be something God's commanded you not to do. Hey, this is a good thing. This is the kind of thing God says. You'll be blessed if you do this. If you obey this, follow this. That's what kids are supposed to hear. Parents are supposed to be correcting them from the wrong and reinforcing the right. And here's what kids are supposed to do. I know it's so hard. But children, listen. Let's get that down for our point for children. Children, listen. Like you are hearing from the Lord. When your parents are speaking to you, it is like they are speaking to you with the authority of the Lord, and especially if they are Christian people speaking from the scripture. And what a blessing to grow up in one of those fuddy duddy houses where they won't let you do what everybody else is doing. And they have these rules and they have these expectations. It's almost like they don't want you to become a criminal or something. They're trying to ruin all of your fun. If you grow up in one of those houses someday, you will praise God for that.

[00:52:17] You may not be today that you're thankful for your parents telling you what to do. But I grew up like that and praise God that my parents told me no. And when I did something I should have done. I felt it at my house. I felt it. There was discipline. There was correction. There was talks, long talks into the night. And then when I did something right, there was encouragement. There was reinforcement. There was celebration. Praise God. If you have parents like that, you should thank the Lord. You should say you're sorry for not listening. We could go on. But if you're a kid here, man, you got to listen. And your parents never stop being your parents. Your parents are for life.

[00:53:01] Someday you might have to end up taking care of your parents. That's what honor your father and mother means. It's not something for the kids ministry. Honor your father. Mother is one of the Ten Commandments. After our honor, your father and mother, it says thou shall not murder. Thou shall not commit adultery. Not too worried about the twos, threes and fours doing that this morning in kids ministry. Right. Not too many child serial murderers running around or serial adulterers in kindergarten. You know what I'm saying? This is an adult command saying that even as a parent, here's how you treat even as when you're a parent. Here's how you still treat your parents. Honor. Honor, like I'm ready to show to them the courtesy and the thankfulness and the gratitude for all that they have done for me, and let me just tell you, if your parents aren't saved and you're trying to win them for Christ, people have a hard time hearing sermons from anyone they've ever changed the diapers of, OK? So it's gonna be hard for you to preach to your parents. But when you show them that honor and that respect, they might just come and ask you questions if you show them the honor and lift them up high in your mind. This is the family. This is what we're supposed to be. And we need to start talking about this. We need to start Coleman together. This is so. Does anyone think this is countercultural? Is this headed the direct opposite of the direction that America is going right now? We're going to need to bond together. If your family's gonna become this kind of family, the happy family that sits down and everybody's doing their role, man, you're going to need other families around you encouraging that. You're going to need examples. One thing that I personally am committed to doing is this a want a ministry. If you could just open your bulletin. I just got to make a quick announcement because we're doing a AWANA on Friday nights and I will teach. If you don't know how to teach your kids the Bible. Bring them on Friday nights all teach them the Bible. I personally teach. Ah, I want to program right now and I'm loving it. You like. I don't know how to teach my kids the Bible. Come hang out with me on Friday nights. We'll start teaching kids the Bible together if you're a dad and like I have no idea how to do what you just said. Let's hang out on Friday nights at Awana. And if you're a mom here and you're like my husband, he's not going to teach our kids the Bible. See if you can bring him to Awana, will teach him the Bible. And what we've got at the same time as Awana is we've got multiple home fellowship groups going on Friday night where you could partner with other moms and dads and encourage one another. Women you need other women who can encourage you in your marriage, who can encourage you about being a wife and a mom. Men, you need to be accountable. Yeah. You're the guy who set the tone for the family. But don't be Lone Ranger out there thinking it's just you doing whatever you want. Go back with me to Psalm 128. Let's just finish up where we started here because we got a problem.

[00:55:46] We can talk about these roles all we want. But the problem is, even if you tried to go do some of these things, if you're not a God fearing person, if you don't have this relationship with God as a man or as a woman or as a kid, you're never gonna be able to fulfill the role God designed you for if you don't have the right relationship with him.

[00:56:07] So someone 28 you can see there, it's one of the song of a sense. It's a song that families would sing together as they went to festivals in Jerusalem. Jerusalem. If you've ever been there in Israel, it's up on a hill. And so they would sing these short little songs on their way. It takes a long way to get up to Jerusalem. If you read in the Bible, you'll notice if they go any direction from Jerusalem. It always says they go down to wherever they're going because Jerusalem is up here. And so they would write these songs, these songs, short little ones that you would sing on your way as you traveled up to Jerusalem. And they're meant to progress. They're meant to build on each other. And some of them are about the family. And someone 27 comes right before Psalm. One hundred and twenty eight. Look what it says. It says, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain, unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil for he gives to his beloved sleep. Now, behold, get the picture. Here's the happy family. Children are a heritage, a gift from the Lord. The fruit of a room is a reward. Kids are supposed to make you happy like arrows in the hand of a warrior or the children's of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Here's what it say in particular the again to the men. But to anybody. You could go and you can try to be a great wife. Hey, you could go and you could try to start being mister husband a mister dad. But if the Lord is not building it, you can go and do whatever you want to do. It's going to be vain, is what it says right here, if it's not from him.

[00:57:51] If he's not blessing it. If it isn't based on the fear and love of him, we can try as hard as we want. And you can see it all over our culture. This kind of marriage invites this kind of parenting advice, but it doesn't lead to a happy family unless God's doing it. Maybe the problem isn't your spouse. The problem isn't your kids. Maybe somebody could realize here this morning.

[00:58:16] I'm the problem in this family. And how many arguments would be over if somebody just surrender and say, you're right, I'm sorry. That's me. I'm trying to do it, and I might be trying as hard as I can, I might be doing it to the best of my ability. If God's not doing it, it's not going to work. If you have not been saved, if you have never been afraid of God to the point where you realize I will be charged. And I need him to forgive me. I need him to save me.

[00:58:51] See that fear of the Lord, the beginning of wisdom, where you turn to God and you cry out to him for that forgiveness.

[00:58:58] You heard that description we read earlier that God is going to by no means clear the guilty. Nobody's getting away with it. But at the same time, he wants to forgive thousands. And you say to him. I want to be one of the forgiven.

[00:59:09] And I want you to make me a new man, a man who could actually do what you're talking about here. I want you to build our house and the needs to start with me standing on a solid foundation of Jesus Christ. Behold, he says, you can have a happy family. God's talking to you. This is a promise. Do what God says. And there will be blessing. I'm not saying everything's going to work out Perth's perfectly, but I'm saying Hugh will be blessed.

[00:59:36] You will be happy.

[00:59:38] My son is playing AYSO soccer. I mean, that's a lot of thing. That's the way the parents you want to see what parenting is all about in Orange County. Go to an AYSO soccer game. You know, I mean, some of the parents make the Raider fans look lame. You know what I mean? I mean, all of a sudden, the Dodger fans look kind of laid back compared to what that mom shoutin over there, you know?

[00:59:58] And so we had the end of the year pizza party, like the cliche pizza party. We're just like quarters are disappearing from all of our bank accounts. The kids are playing video games and we're all sitting there with all these families. And my family ends up right in the middle of all these families. And it's like, wow, this is what it's like at their dinner tables. I mean, if if if Rusty's pizza parlor is a glimpse into what's going on at your house, this is what it's like at your table. That's the fruitful line. Those are the olive chutes. And one of the I mean, I was just like, this is not what the picture we're seeing here.

[01:00:36] And one of the one of the ladies there, a mom of one of the kids on the team. She looks at our son who sit in there. And she says, why is that kid so, like, not crazy right now? He's not throwing food, he's not Yellen, he's not saying I want he's not shouting mine until he gets it.

[01:00:57] Like, why is that kid and this happens to my family actually regularly, like Red Panda Express and somebody, you know, just walk up and I'll be like, it's such a blessing to watch your family eat dinner. I'm like, excuse me. Have we met so rare to see a family that just looks happy? Where the kids look like they're listening. And Mom and dad seem like they're enjoying their kids. Like your kids aren't throwing their chow mean all over the place? This seems crazy. And I always want to say to them, praise the Lord. That's what I always want to say. And I know it's not church and that comes across a little weird, but I've just started saying it will praise God because that's the only way any family gets like that, because God's doing something at my family. And I've surrendered my life to God and so is my wife, and we're praying for our kids. And it's amazing what God can do. God will build your family if you give your life to him. I promise you he will do it. Have you given your life to. I want to encourage you that you can have a happy family, and for those of you who do, this would be the appropriate time to say a man, can you testify to this? Can you can all the dads who have raised their kids in the way of the Lord and loved their wives, can you testify that when you sit down at the dinner table and there's your wife and there's the little ones, you're already four. Let's pray. We thank you so much for this picture that we could have of a happy family.

[01:02:25] Got a picture that only you could really paint for us. The world can't paint this guy. We can't do this by ourselves.

[01:02:33] Surely America's headed in a direction like this, not only by coming to you will we get this glimpse of the family. And I pray that today we could just be whole, like it says over and over. We could be holed what a family is supposed to look like. And God, that you would convict us if we fall short and God help us not to leave here and say, well, I'm going to try harder. I'm going to do better. I'm going to build a better family. Help us to come and say, wow, I can't even do that. God, I need you to build our family. Got a part of that is we behold what a family looks like. That we would actually end up beholding you and we would ask ourselves, do I really fear God? Have I really given my life completely over to his ways, knowing that he's going to hold me accountable for everything and that he has commanded? I don't get to make up my own family. He's designed it for me. He's already made it. And I need to do it his way. God help us to search our hearts, convict us if we're not giving our lives and our families over to you. God, let there be people here who have your fears struck in their hearts today and they turn to you for forgiveness and they find that you are a God so merciful and gracious, so slow to anger. We're here to talk about the family. But let us see that you're the God of the family, that if you build the house, that's how it. That's how it stands. And if you don't build it, it will always fall. So, guy, we give our lives to you. And we come to behold you asking you to build our families here at this church. We pray this in Jesus name a man.